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Are You A Placeholder or A Game Changer?

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Far From BasYc

Spartans Don’t Compete, They Win

Spartan_Queen

I want a world full of Game Changers, not Placeholders. My goal with Far From Basyc is to create an army of Spartan women that will be so empowered, so confident, and so fucking wise that no Dick Tactics used against them shall prosper! There are so many women that make me proud, who send me emails telling me that they’ve become Spartans and are winning now, but for every twenty of those warrior Queens, I have fifty more that can’t put it together or relapse after months of doing it right. Year after year I keep seeing the same basic mistakes being made, because once a girl logs off of this site and goes back to her normal life, it doesn’t stick. A man pops up, dicknotizes, and it’s back to the basic bitch life of falling in love with a man who wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. I rallied against the Netflix & Chill epidemic years before it spread like wildfire, I warned about Situationships before they were even called Situationships, I tried to tell you that it was essential to date more than one man at a time, and even broke down how to Handle Dick. What happened? Most of you read, comprehended, but you didn’t actually put the things I wrote into practice. Weekday Spartans turn into Weekend Basicas when women only pretend to be powerful!

Placeholder_or_GamechangerImagine what the year 2025 is going to look like in terms of men not valuing women? Things aren’t getting better for women, they are getting worse. All this talk and flexing on the timeline about what you would do if you were in a relationship or what a man needs to do to get a woman like you is utter bullshit. “Not me,” yes bitch, even you! Let’s be honest. You don’t want to go out and snatch souls, you want to stay with your face in your phone and hope a man drops in your lap. You don’t want to test a man’s intent and risk pushing him away, you want to be low maintenance and pray that brings him closer. You don’t want to Spartan Up in a bad relationship, you merely want to learn a few tricks to keep him from leaving. The moment you put the right man in front of a Typical woman, no matter what she’s read, she will revert to her old habits. Why should I ever write about “what men should do to get a good woman?” Today’s men don’t have to do shit because the vast majority of these “good women” are for sale at a discounted price. It’s the Hos that cost.

Men will never change their ways because there will always be fake-strong women there to stroke his ego, ride his dick, and swallow his lies. Women settle everyday, B! A man can’t have Netflix & Chill without you approving it, he can’t be in a situationship without you approving it, and he can’t keep running in and out of your life when he feels like it, without you approving it! You don’t exercise power over men, you exercise passive aggressiveness. All you are willing to do is complain, ask for advice you won’t take, ignore his calls for a few days, and have “talks” that lead to you being back in check. That’s not Spartan!

Basic bitches be like, “All I need is a boyfriend in and I’ll be good,” as if a man will make life better. As if that man won’t eventually grow just as bored hanging around her lonely ass, as she is with living her own boring life. I see women get into these 6-14 month relationships that fall apart because their only goal was to compromise her value in order to be some guy’s girlfriend because she was sick of being lonely. A Spartan doesn’t lower the bar nor make exceptions. But that’s the problem, you’re not a Spartan, you’re Tina Typical.  The real you comes out at night when you think about texting a certain someone. The real you comes out after a date, when you want to just cuddle up with a man you barely know because you’re empty inside. The real you comes out when you do find a good dude, but you sabotage the relationship because you’re so afraid he will hurt you like some guy from the past. The real you comes out every time you do what you claim you wouldn’t do anymore. You know better, but you still fuck up, because in the end you’re tired and afraid. Tired of trying to constantly figure out who wants you for real and Afraid to test a man you like because you won’t be able to take it if he is revealed to be using you. That fear drives you to go against everything that a Spartan stands for and embrace every weak emotion that has ever handicapped womankind. It’s time for a change in 2016…

Is It Dick Whip or Denial

You-Can't-Handle-DickBullshit smells like Chanel N°5 when it’s coming out of the mouth of a man you want. When that Chris Brown type says he only talks to you—you don’t believe it, but you go with it and cut off your roster of men. When Michael B. Jordan, but taller, is telling you how different you are, while his hand unfastens your belt—you don’t believe him, but you go with it and let him hit. When your Man Crush is telling you he loves you after only three weeks, you know he’s after something, but you give in because you think you have it under control. I see this shit every week from women across the globe, of all ages, and of multiple races. They all make the mistake of thinking they are the exception that can’t get hooked by a man, then end up played for a fool like every typical woman before them. Where does this hubris come from? Your inability to assess your own flaws and your prideful need to profess, “Nothing’s wrong with me, the right man will come at the right time,” has fucked you! This blind faith in your own ego, keeps you from establishing your value. It will not work out because it has to work out. There is no soulmate coming to rescue you. And no matter how selfless you are, no man is going to overpay for a woman that gives him everything for free! You may not end up alone, but you will end up settling, and that’s even worse.

Life is made of two things: Truth & Lies. You fear the truth and you live the lies. If you put your phone down, sit in a dark room, and drop all that defensive armor, you will see the truth of your life. You don’t want to look inside; you want to keep pushing forward as if nothing is wrong. These weak ass affirmations that preach nothing is your fault, will never make you better. This Slave Mentality that all you have to do is keep wishing and things will improve, will never make you better. Defensive attitudes about how hard it is to meet men in your city or guys today don’t settle down, will never make you better! You lie to yourself to hide the secret that you don’t believe in yourself. Being a Spartan isn’t isn’t about protecting your ego so you can continue to feel special, it’s about telling yourself the truth so you can get over these mental blocks. When a great fighter gets knocked out, they change their strategy, they study their mistakes, and they evolve. When you get knocked down in life, you don’t change your strategy, you double down on ego and place blame. You don’t study your past relationships, you don’t change the way you date, or try new ways to attract quality relationships, you suck your teeth and point fingers. You will never evolve thinking that you’re the victim whose time is going to come because you’re “nice”. It’s not. You are destined to fail, unless you reconstruct yourself.

Men are dogs, yet you want to have their puppies… how smart does that make you? You don’t actually believe that there are only a few decent guys, that’s a lie you hold on to the explain your lack of success. The attitude that most of you carry around screams insecurity and that insecurity is a bullseye that men exploit. The moment a man hears you vent about your exes, make generalizations about all males, and jump to conclusions during a conversation, he knows that you’re damaged in the same way most women are damaged: No man has ever loved you enough to stay. That truth hurts like a motherfucker, and you can’t do anything about it but be overly guarded and perpetually frustrated. This entire struggle is about one thing: You want to be loved so you overcompensate by treating a man that isn’t even your boyfriend like you are his girlfriend and then follow that up by treating a man that is just a boyfriend like you are his wife. At each stage you are being so fucking extra, because you are desperate to get back what you put in. “If I’m there for bae, bae will be there for me,” life doesn’t work like that, little girl! The reason most of you date with low standards, try to make it work with someone that keeps fucking up, or enter into relationships with guys you barely trust is due to your thirst for love mixed with delusion that you can fix a man.

Is It Love or Comfort

love me harderA man will love you for years but never be in love with you. A man will cry to get you back, knowing he doesn’t want to keep you forever. A man will promise you the stars in order to make you smile, knowing that he’s still looking for another woman to give the entire universe to. No matter what lie passes through his lips or what hollow attempt he makes at consistency, you know the truth. He doesn’t want you. Still you live the lie that he cares enough, that he will eventually love you like you love him, that all you need to do is show him that you he is special to you and you will become special to him. You are a Placeholder! Men sense that desperation in you, see that pride swelling, and know it’s feasting time on yet another typical bitch. The signs are always clear, it’s your thoughts that are clouded due to that incessant want to be wanted! You can’t wait to tell you friends about your new boo, you can’t wait to listen to love songs that express what you’re feeling, you can’t wait to be out of “Club Single Bitch” and able to brag that someone out there loves you back. Too many women live as if they are in love before they actually attain true love because insecurity craves a quick result. You want so desperately to be some dude’s “one and only” that you give him everything he asks for and more. You want the right to say “My BF…” in a sentence so bad, that you sell your soul. In the end, that won’t be good enough for him to stay and you will be left confused as to why men don’t love women like you.

got-the-wrong-oneA man having love for you, and being in love with you are like night and day. A relationship where you have to make ultimatums, keep having talks, do petty things to get attention, is that what you think love is? Do you really believe that you two are only going through a “rough patch” and it will end with you growing closer and stronger? Ha! You shouldn’t have to “keep a man,” Making him happy shouldn’t be a struggle where you have to guess what’s in his head and how to fix him. Love is natural. Love is even. Love is self-sustaining! Men aren’t customers whose asses need to be kissed in order to keep them coming back. Even after a woman like you gets the title, you will keep working double time for his love because these men don’t see you as permanent. You’re Paula Placeholder, only there to keep him warm until the real woman he wants shows up. He acts up with you, but will straighten up for her. He makes excuses with you, but will make sacrifices for her. He puts you second, put will start her in first. He is scared to give you his all, but will rush to give her the world. Men want Game Changers, not Typicals. That is the truth that guys hold onto as they act out this lie with you. There’s a Wife mentality and then there’s a Girlfriend mentality. I know what’s inside of you, but what do you show? He may have love for you, but he’s not in love because he doesn’t see his wife in your actions. He sees yet another girl trying to play house, another girl holding on to her past, another girl afraid of heartbreak, and the world has enough of those. Are you happy being practice? Are you going to perfect the art of keeping men warm & preparing them for other women or are you going to dig inside and become the Spartan Queen that I know you can be?

Are You A Placeholder or A Game Changer

Women are the most powerful beings on this planet, and that’s not hyperbole. Pussy runs everything! Men beg, lie, spend, and make promises they know they can’t keep just to get what’s between your legs, and you mean to tell me that you buy into this idea that you’re the weaker gender? A man’s world revolves around attaining you, yet look how you allow yourselves to be treated by these peasants? And for what? A bullshit “I love you,” a semi-hard dick, and someone to keep you company? Your standards are trash and while you talk a good game, you lack the conviction to walk in power! How can something more abundant flow to you when you’re too afraid to aim higher than what you’ve become accustomed to? I am in the business of creating Spartans because I only care about Game Changers. I know that even the most damaged woman with childhood trauma, a history of bad choices, and low self-esteem can rewrite her life by learning the Truth. Goddess Consciousness is can only be attained by relearning every lie you were taught and that’s what we’re about to do…

The entire Spartan Blueprint: How To Flirt. How To Meet A Man. How To Date. How To Get Into A Relationship. How to Maintain Power In That New Relationship or Regain It In An Old One. How to Rewrite Your Past. How to find yourself spiritually.  This book covers it ALL step by step.

Men Don’t Love Women Like You! Isn’t a book you should read if you’re sensitive, because the gloves are all the way off. But if you want the honest truth then I’m going to give you the real solutions to Spartan Up. I’ve written nearly 400 pages breaking down how to become a Game Changer, and like Ho Tactics, it’s all new information that I never put on this website because I couldn’t. This is the Spartan Secret that I’ve only shared with a handful of women, and now it is time to unleash it on the world.

No matter your age, if you’re single and haven’t dated in years, currently dating, or in a relationship on the rocks, you will WIN! This is it, all I have left to teach you about Spartanhood. How to get what you want, but more importantly, how to maintain it. This book will transform any woman into a Game Changer and it’s about fucking time, because no woman should be struggling to find happiness internally or externally.

 G.L_Lambert_book

Men Don’t Love Women Like You!:

The Brutal Truth About Dating, Relationships, and How To Go From Placeholder To Game Changer

Amazon Copy Click Here

Audio Version Click Here

Itunes Version Click Here

Autographed Copy Click Here.

The Autographed copy comes with the Bonus Chapter: Mixed Signals – 5 Signs That He’s Leading You On

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Thanks for reading Are You A Placeholder or A Game Changer?


Dating With An STD

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Far From BasYc

I want to dive into something that a lot of you don’t even want to think about, let alone talk about. We’re living in a world where STDs run rampant, and no matter your sexual standards or how safe you are, it can happen to you. HIV, Herpes, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and all kinds of new shit that pops up in pictures on Facebook feeds are the monsters under our bed we refuse to acknowledge. Over the years, I’ve talked to male and female readers in confidence about their problems in regards to dating with STDs, but it’s time to help those who aren’t able to speak to me one on one about this dilemma.

Most people know at least one person who had or has an STI or STD, still, the typical mind only think about these things after a wild night when they went raw and wake up suddenly religious and praying they didn’t get burnt. The truth is millions of people live with incurable STI/STDs, yet they hide in the shadows unsure of how to attain real love. Instead of it being something we judge, it should be something that we address, and let those men and women know that they can still find love and happiness if they refuse to live like a prisoner of circumstance.

We all know to use condoms and we all know that you should get to know a person for real, before you put your life in their hands, but nobody really listens to that shit. When I was growing up in Baltimore, the Shangri La of STDs, I was paranoid as hell about sex. I grew up seeing TLC rocking condoms on their clothes, Magic Johnson and Eazy-E in the news, and you get the message that “have sex and die.” Nevertheless, when you grow up and see Magic still outliving most motherfuckers and no one you know dropping dead, the “safe sex” message fades. Condoms are only used on side hoes or jump-offs, and main chicks get the raw treatment always, or what’s the point of making a chick your girlfriend… That’s called hood logic. While I was fortunate enough to never catch anything, nearly all of my boys had to take that trip to the free clinic to get a shot.

I’ve had a lot of sex in my life, and what always blew my mind was how girls were quick to bust it open without requesting a condom, shit, one girl gave me attitude when I reached for one, as if she was offended. I can only imagine how much unprotected sex is going on in the world of IG DMs and Tinder smashing… Wait, I don’t have to imagine because I get emails weekly about these kind of hookups. Men don’t give a fuck, they just want to dip into new pussy and feel ALL of it, minus latex. Women often confuse sex with love, like it’s a ratchet badge of honor to be a woman a man trusts enough to hit raw. In reality girls are just as horny as men, and when they meet a nice guy, well groomed, balls only a little musty, they think that’s good enough. “Oh he looks clean.” isn’t the same as seeing someone’s test results. “Oh we’re only dating each other” isn’t enough information to put your life at risk. Just last month I had a friend tell me that a guy she was seeing came back positive for HSV-1 and his response was “at least it’s not HSV-2” because he still was trying to bust her down. The point is, people aren’t out here trying to infect you, most are just ignorant and are afraid to get tested. Again, it’s not enough to assume or to hear them tell you how “clean” their bill of health is, you MUST know.

The scary part is that no matter how careful you are in the beginning, you can not predict if the person you’re dealing with will bring something home to you. There are some people who wait to enter into a relationship, but they don’t go through the “I need a STD test” stage, they fuck… condom for the first week… raw the rest of the relationship. Someone gets burnt… maybe it’s something a shot can clear up, maybe not. Alternatively, you both can come into the relationship free of disease… a year later, you’re getting weird symptoms and low and behold you realize the person you love not only stepped out, but brought something back.  Raw sex will always be the best sex, and that’s the real driving force behind the growing number of new cases. Instead of preaching about boring shit like, “always use a condom,” I’m going to talk about dating after the damage has already been done.

DATING AFTER YOU FIND OUT YOU HAVE AN STD

CDC estimates that, annually, 776,000 people in the United States get new herpes infections. Genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide that’s 16%, or about one out of six people. When it comes to HIV the CDC reports that blacks account for 47% of new HIV cases in the United States which is alarming considering they make up only 12% of the US population.”

STD’s aren’t a race issue, it’s an ignorance issue, and to prove that anyone can find themselves a victim, here’s a story from WebMD about “All American Girl” Ann Smith:

bust it open raw

“I had barely finished my first semester of college when I found out I had herpes. A high school friend and I wound up taking our friendship a little further, and 20 seconds into the act that would change my life forever, he stopped. My friend said I was too much like a sister, and he couldn’t continue. Then he left. I worried about how that incident would affect our friendship. Little did I know my worries would extend far beyond that concern…

For three years, I had a boyfriend who never knew I had herpes. Each time I had an outbreak, which for me consisted of a very small cluster of blisters that lasted two or three days, I’d pretend I had a yeast infection and say I couldn’t have sex until it was gone.  The possibility of spreading the virus even when you didn’t have an outbreak had become more widely accepted by health care providers. I was still uncomfortable about bringing up the subject, but now I didn’t have much of a choice.

In the end, instead of rejecting me, he chose to continue our relationship. What a relief. But after we had sex, he would always wash himself like a doctor scrubbing down for an operation. I could hardly blame him, but it wreaked havoc on my self-esteem. Since he was disease-free, he refused to wear condoms, instead choosing the scrub-down — something that would do nothing to prevent herpes transmission… That relationship eventually came to an end, leaving me worried yet again about getting back in the dating game.”

If you’re like Ann then you’re probably afraid to date because that means that as soon as you get close to a person you will inevitably have to tell them about your condition, and then suffer the shame of them judging you, rejecting you, or even worse, pretending to be cool with it then bailing on you as soon as they find a good excuse that makes it look like it had nothing to do with your STD. The alternative is to keep quiet, not have sex as if you’re a born again virgin, and wait until that person is in love with you to drop the news. I call that “Pussy Catfishing” and not sharing your status or misleading someone about your status is nearly as bad as spreading it to them. So for all of you women that feel like Ann and those who have friends in these situations who don’t really have any guidance, here are some tips.

Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

Stop-Crying-over-himFirst off, stop blaming yourself, stop blaming the person who infected you, stop blaming the world. It happened and there is nothing you can do to get rid of it. You can sit in the house, feel bitter because you can’t play in the reindeer games, and invest in the world’s greatest vibrator OR you can accept the hand that was dealt and win with that shit. Sex is not that big of a person’s life if you add up all the hours in the day, so it’s not that you’re being handicapped by this STD in terms of going out and meeting people. If you’re the type of person that needed the allure of your new pussy to hook a man, then you were failing at life before you got those test results. You’re crying and depressed because you’ll never find a man that wants you because any sex will have to come with a warning label… is your personality that fucking weak?

You mean to tell me that you can’t impress a man with your wit, your humor, or kindness, that unless the light at the end of the tunnel is RAW PUSSY that you are shit out of luck? The universe took away your Coochie Crutch and said, “Prove you’re still a bad bitch,” and here you are eyes all watery like, “You’re right, I’m not shit without an active vagina!” Take away the 3-point line; Ray Allen could still score. Take away Beyonce’s voice, she’s going to win a Grammy for writing a new bitch a hit song. Every human being has the ability to adapt and succeed. Will it be easy? Hell no, but it will bring out the best you have to offer with your clothes on. In the end there will be no doubt that you got that man by being spectacular, not by being just another pussy. So hold your head up and get back out on the field.

Make Them Earn The Talk

Don’t tell people your business on the first date. No matter if you’re a virgin or have an STD, why would you want to give out information to someone who hasn’t even earned the right to know your home address, let alone your sexual history? The first few dates are interviews where you’re testing for compatibility, not on some desperate mission to find someone who wants to be in a relationship with you as soon as possible. Things like sex and tongue kissing are on hold and so should the talk… Once you feel a connection, or no later than the fourth date, break it down to them.

  1. Make them earn your life story over 3-5 dates.
  2. Explain what you have face to face.
  3. Continue to date at a slow pace before sex.

Most of you can do the first 2 no problem, but the last one jams you up. Why? Because you are so afraid that no one will accept you that you buy into the first guy who says, “It’s all good, I still want to see where this goes.” Emotionally, that’s counting your chickens way before they fucking hatch. In the moment a man will always be nice and understanding. After he has time to think on it, shit changes. The truth is, dating with an STD will always be complicated because men will lie about how cool they are with it. For instance, an STD like Herpes, a man will most likely fake as if he’s cool with that, then slowly back away over the course of a month or so. Let me show you how this works:

Make-Him-Earn-ItYou’re dating Dave, the perfect guy who knows how to treat a woman. On your fourth date, you can tell Dave really wants to try for sex, so you break down your sexual history, and how you were exposed to HSV-2 in college. Dave tells you that it’s all good. The next week he’s taking you out again, still being affectionate. Damn, Dave’s a real G, so you suck his dick as a reward. Maybe he even talks about ways to be safe for when the day comes that you want to have real sex. Now, you’re thinking, “Shit, Dave’s a rider, he’s thinking about long term ways to hit this.” Two weeks later, Dave’s getting busy. You don’t talk that much anymore because of his schedule. You see the writings on the wall. Dave slowly faded out because he was never okay with that shit, he just didn’t want to seem like an asshole.

Alternatively you have to worry about your business being shared with others. I don’t care if you don’t live close to where Dave lives, if he bumps into you at a club or bar a few months later, he’s going to whisper to his friends, “that’s her” now that friend tells their friend, and your Instagram is now being passed around like, “that’s the bitch with the bug.” Keep it to yourself until you get to know a person! I suggest waiting at least one month but no more than two, to have the talk with them. By that time you should be able to get to know them both romantically and personally to the point where you understand their character. I don’t want to hear the excuse of, “Men don’t want to wait for sex, how do I hold them off with excuses for that long,” that’s a weak bitch question. If you can’t keep a man’s interest for two months without sucking or fucking there is an entire archive section on this site informing you how basic of a bitch you are.

Don’t Underestimate Horny Men

thirsty--new-niggas-My boy once said that he’d fuck Draya raw while she read her positive HIV results. It was a joke with a hint of truth. Let’s keep it real, the condom protection odds are high enough that guys won’t think twice about smashing a pretty girl no matter what she has. That’s a good thing if you’re looking for a real boyfriend, not so much if you’re vulnerable and dude is just hunting for a nut. Just because a guy is okay with your status, doesn’t mean you rush to fuck him. You’re sexually frustrated, but keep your standards. Him saying, “I’m cool with that,” doesn’t mean you slide the condom on his dick and go wild. The same way you made dudes earn it before, you make them earn it now. Dating, courting, and proving they value you — that shit still applies even with an STD! You’re not in No Man’s Land where you take any understanding dick that wants to hit. You will meet guys who will see you as an easy fuck, and because you trust them with your “secret,” you’re going to assume their intentions are pure—Ha! Don’t be thirsty! Remember your Spartan training, and make him earn it because you aren’t damaged goods to be sold at a discount.

Recycling Is For Cowards

A girl has needs that a shower head can’t give her. So if your last two boyfriends knew about your condition and didn’t care, you can always go back to them because they won’t judge and they know how to make you cum in less than ten minute. That’s good for your sexual appetite, but it won’t fulfill your romantic or emotional needs. What happens with exes is that you get lazy. You have no excuse to put yourself out there with new guys, because the itch you were most annoyed by is now being scratched. Those guys won’t stay single for long and more importantly you’re wasting time scrimmaging when you should be out playing the game for real. Again, this goes back to being afraid of being disappointed with new men: Get to know a guy for a few months, hope he’s not an asshole. Have the talk, hope he doesn’t run. Have sex, hope his dick game isn’t wack. It’s a lot of pressure and a lot of work, but what the fuck else do you have to do with your time? You don’t need a fuck buddy, you need to date, you need to get comfortable with your sexuality again, and the only way to do that is going out to sharpen your skills. You can’t do that if you hide in the past.

Don’t Thot It Up

If you can’t handle a house date, if you fear a man will back you into a corner, or if you’re going to get so drunk or so horny that you put someone at risk for selfish reasons, then you need to step back from dating. I know a woman who contracted an STI despite all of my warnings. She was obsessed with sex as validation. A cute guy wanting to fuck her made her feel beautiful, wanted, loved… so she gave it up and played by the rules of men, which often meant no protection. Even after the STI, she didn’t slow down. She would go to the bars, go back to his place, wait until her clothes were off and then say, “Oh by the way…” None of those guys she told me about turned it down. They all fucked anyway and then they all ghosted her. If sex is a problem, if sex got you into this situation, then that’s where you do the internal work. Grow. Evolve. Reset. It’s not about how good dick is, it’s about how great your insecurity is, so take time to fill those holes because even with an STI or STD, you will be tempted and tested sexually.

Lasso of Truth

The hardest thing for any woman to accept is that there is no limit to the lies a man will tell to fuck them. Dating with an STD, if done properly, is the best filter you can ever have. Those dudes who just wanted to fuck—they’re not even going to survive the dates before you have the talk because they’re not patient. Those dudes who had secret girlfriends or families—they’re going to run the moment you have the talk. Not only are you making a man get to know you for longer than the average woman does, you’re saying, “This is something that has to be about more than sex, or we’re both wasting our time.” It’s like Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth, they are forced to admit what they really wanted from you, which 9 out of 10 times is convenient pussy, not a long term relationship. A player who was just going to give you the title to fuck raw, will be hopping over the gate and back in his car because you can’t give him that unprotected sex that most men fake-commit for. You will talk to several men who flake out on you because they can’t deal, but look on the bright side; you’ll know the real reason was them wanting to fuck you, not your personality being something they didn’t want to be with.

You will meet guys who commit to you, and it’ll be proof that you didn’t need a Coochie Crutch, you were always a fucking Spartan who could hook a man with personality not pussy. The biggest thing to keep in mind is that you can’t let the combination of love and acceptance trap you once you enter the deep relationship stage. Eventually your relationship will slip into the normal up’s and down’s that come with being a couple. If you reach a point where you are no longer happy, don’t continue to hold on because they’ve stuck by your side. They’ve had sex and put themselves at risk, that’s love—but none of that love matters if you stop getting along. I had a friend that was engaged to this woman who was a straight up asshole. I didn’t understand why a guy with a great career and who could easily pull any chick would put up with that type of person. Later on after he called off the wedding I found out he had Herpes and she had been the first girl he dated since finding out. He confided in her, she accepted him, they fell in love, but as they grew together the red flags began to pile up. He was afraid to leave her, and was about to ruin his life by marrying this woman. Thankfully he found the strength to call it off, and the funny thing is he started dating again, and found another girl who didn’t give a fuck either. There will always be another person who wants to be with you, so long as if you’re the type of honest and open person worth being with.

How do you date with an STD? You just do it. Go out and be social, flirt like there’s no tomorrow, take the numbers of the ones that look good, and toss the ones that don’t. Inbox and shoot your shot online or on dating apps. In real life, don’t be afraid to walk up and pull the men that make your coochie tingle, even if you don’t plan on giving him any coochie for a long time. Be open to talk to guys who come chasing and be open to going after guys as well. You don’t have time to waste being timid or second guesing! Obsessing over “what happens once they find out” will drag you into a depression. Instead of thinking so negatively, keep a positive outlook. A person falls in love with personality, lead with that and stop throwing yourself a pity party! I’ve run out of fingers to count on in terms of people I personally know who have gotten married despite their STI or STD status. “No one wants me” is bullshit because the stats show the truth–you will find love if you date with confidence instead of seeing yourself as damaged goods.

Never let anyone tell you that you should live life in a bubble as if you’re some nasty freak that no real person would ever want to settle down with. The truth is, there are women who can’t get a man with their clean bill of health, and here you are, proof that you can get multiple men trying to be with yours despite the deck being stacked against you. That’s called stepping your pussy game up without using your pussy! You have every right to date in the same manner everyone else does, and anything you have read on this site when it comes to finding love or confidence still applies. Stop throwing a pity party like your status makes you an exception to these solutions, and get back to being exceptional.

Thanks for reading Dating With An STD

Losing Yourself In A Relationship – How To Hit Reset

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Far From BasYc

Relationships change you. Save your “Nah-un” because this isn’t something to get defensive over. Relationships should change you. From Boyfriend and Girlfriend all the way to Husband and Wife, what these titles represent are two becoming one. Your hobbies, your taste in music, even your friends and family begin to overlap once that partnership takes hold. “Marry your best friend” isn’t about walking down the aisle with someone you’ve known since middle school; it’s about marrying someone who has proven to be compatible with you across the board as you’ve both grown and evolved. However, there is a very dark side of merging with another person. Let’s go through the list of how weak-minded people switch up:

-They cut friends off to be up under their partner

-They allow their partner to dictate who they can be friends with

-They only talk about their relationship even when out having fun

– They slowly become a Mini-Me of their partner’s opinions and personality

-They refuse to break up even when they get played because their BF or GF is the only world they know

We all know people who lose themselves the moment they fall in love. Shit, some people only know a person a few weeks and lose themselves. We make jokes about being dick whipped or pussy whipped, but it’s not about sex. The reason so many people lose themselves is a direct result of the insecurity that’s been brewing for years. I was once friends with this girl who was the Alpha of her group. She organized trips, always had the plug when it came to functions, and would even bully the other girls to come hang out when they tried to flake. The moment she got into a relationship that all stopped. She didn’t return texts, all her social media posts were love quotes or music lyrics about love, and when one of the girls confronted her about ghosting the group, she responded, “My boyfriend doesn’t like me hanging out with single people.”

This chick had only been boo’d up for three weeks! Why did she switch up the moment she had an on-call penis? Shorty was always lonely as fuck, but she hid it by surrounding herself with “friends.” She didn’t have a bae, so she made these girls her default boyfriend to go on vacations with, party with, and keep her entertained when her phone was dry. She wasn’t ever a friend in the real sense of the word, she was just a sad little girl who couldn’t find a man, so she used other people to fill that void. In addition to these personality types, there are those men and women who are guilty of being controlled by their partner. Today we’re going to look at how to check yourself when you see yourself slipping away in a relationship.

Who’s In control of Your Relationship?

Simp men who submit like they had their balls cut off, cling to their girlfriends clit 24-7, or chose new women over their own mothers are becoming more and more common in this millennial era, but I’ve touched on the male perspective of this in the new She Ain’t It bonus chapters. So, I’m going to dedicate this to the ladies who need to hear the hard truth…

Relationship Goals When You Started Vs. The Goals Now

During the dating stage, your goal was to find a nice guy who had his head on straight, was loyal, ambitious, respectful, and could survive in your pussy for longer than seven minutes. Going from dating to a relationship, your goals crystallize. No adult with a brain agrees to an exclusive relationship without thinking about marriage, children, and a shared future where both of you prosper as a team. You do not agree to be his girl because he’s cute, funny, and throws neck like an ostrich. You see his ultimate potential—husband, father, provider. Some of you make this clear while others assume that he knows this from the conversations you’ve had during the dating stage that eventually a shared world is what you’re building towards.

Fast forward to the post-honeymoon stage of an exclusive relationship where you’re both comfortable. Are you sticking to the script and building or are you just ordering Uber eats and fucking? Are you both in agreement about money and a strategy going forward to better your situations or do you just smoke and watch Netflix? Going even deeper into the relationship, has there been any real talk of marriage or have you become content to play the role of wife to a boyfriend? You told everyone when you were single how you wanted a man who would spoil you like a princess, but here you are having to pay him back for buying you dinner. All of those memes you laughed about regarding women buying their own engagement rings and look at you now thinking about doing that shit because it’s been years put into a relationship with a man who straddles the fence.

No matter what relationship stage you are in, ask yourself if you have gotten everything you’ve wanted out of that experience. I get it, you love him… he’s your world—that’s not what I asked you. You had a mental list during the dating stage, now that you’re in a relationship, have you checked any of those boxes, have you made any real progress towards your dreams? The average woman lacks power in her relationship because we as men know that her ultimate achievement is marriage, thus some of us withhold that as a manipulation tactic. Men crave sex, women crave commitment. Before sex, women have the upper hand. They can leverage the physical to make a man prove that he’s interested in also learning her mind. That’s the brilliance of being a wise woman.

Nevertheless, once you’re in a relationship, there is no more leverage. He’s bussed you down every which way, gotten you to fall in love, and now you’re caught up in the moment to the point where you’re giving him wifey treatment minus a ring. Why should a man who has been catered to buy the cow when he’s been getting the milk for free? Power, ladies, you’ve allowed yourself to be hustled out of it. Why would a woman wait five years or ten years without marriage? Why would a woman keep popping out kids with a man whose last name she doesn’t share? Why would a woman keep putting up with cheating or disrespect? Because she lost control of the relationship a long time ago and is trying to hold on to the hope of “one day.” You kept your mouth shut about what you wanted, assumed he would reward your loyalty, or just gave up the fight because you got sick of arguing about your wants, and now here you are—failing at love and becoming one of these Basicas they laugh at online.  You talk a big game, but since you’ve been in a relationship how have you backed it up? What do you have to show besides staged pictures and a complacent attitude? 

Your Social Life Then Vs. Now

We can’t blame everything on the men being bullies in a relationship, some women close themselves off all on their own. Let’s not sugar coat this—some girls are fake as fuck. After you’re done clutching your pearls, let’s look into this mentality. Some women don’t put much stock into males or relationship because they have enough self-love to get them through even the worst of droughts. Not the Typicals, they have always lived for male attention. They’ve dealt with heartbreak, been rejected, and felt jealousy towards other women more often than not. Does this describe someone you know or even yourself?  To have a boyfriend that’s enamored with you becomes a dream come true. Having a man validates you because you’ve always been insecure in terms of worthiness. The clout you’ve been chasing is the ability to say, “My boyfriend.” The bragging rights you take the most pride in is being able to say “we” instead of “me.” Posting a man on social media means the most to women who thought they were never good enough to find love. So, is it surprising that women like this lose themselves, become submissive, and forget about their day one friend the moment they get cuffed?

Why are you flaking on your friends when they ask you to go out? It’s not money, it’s not because your boyfriend has plans for you two, it’s because you got what you want, so fuck those whores who you only half-liked in the first place. All those platonic guys and fake-brothers don’t get texted back now because you don’t need the ego stroke of their attention. Your boyfriend is your everything, and it forces you to be honest about all the falsehoods you preached when single. The perfect night is being up under him, laughing and talking. There’s nothing wrong with your partner being #1 in your social life, but what happens when it becomes so grossly unbalanced that he’s also #2 and #3? He’s out with his friends, so what do you do when your timeline dries up? You hit up those old friends out of boredom, give excuses for being MIA, and make plans to hang out—that never happens. Now you dig yourself a hole because the next time you reach out due to boredom, they have your fakeness figured out and don’t answer.

What happens when you and your man have an argument? He’s your world, you’ve alienated your friends, and the only people you can vent to are family members who may throw it back in your face. I get a considerable amount of emails from women like this, they write into me, not so much for advice but to vent because they have no one in their life to talk to about real shit. Ladies, I’ve seen relationships rise and fall for a decade, and it’s almost a certainty that the guy who you’re giving your all to and putting before your friend will not last. That’s not me being pessimistic, that’s me being real. To set fire to your old life over a man is like quitting your job because you have three out of the four lotto numbers. Control your emotional highs because you will fuck yourself when you hit those lows.

Does Your Boyfriend Have More Freedom Than You?

-He can go out with his friends, but the moment you attempt to have a girl’s night out or even have a drink after work it’s a problem.

-He can go hours, even a day without calling you, but let you not respond to a text or missed his call, you will be accused of fucking everyone on the block.

-He has trained you to be careful about the people you follow online, the pictures you like, even the photos of yourself that you post. Meanwhile, he’s free to drop heart emojis every time he sees a phat ass.

-He doesn’t like your friends, and he doesn’t want you hanging out with certain people from the past because they’re bad influences, but he thinks you’re tripping when you bring up the fact that he still keeps in contacts with certain exes and guys nights with known pussy hunters.

Who would put up with the things listed above? Too many women! These dudes swear they’re your daddy, and because some of you never had daddy’s you’re turned on and energized by the thought of a man taking charge of you and putting you in your place. You don’t have a therapist to break down the gaslighting that’s going on, nor are you emotionally mature enough to know the difference between a man loving you versus controlling you. In your basic little mind, you think that’s how men love. A handful of you aren’t pushovers, you have smart mouths and clap back by pointing out his hypocrisy. In response, he either argues you down, ghosts you, or puts his hands on you. You don’t like to be yelled at, so you just do what he says and don’t go out. You have anxiety from him falling back, so you’re blowing up his phone begging for him to talk to you and promising to act right. He puts his hands on you and then tells you it’s your fault for not listening, and because you’re so in love with him, you allow that fucking clown to kiss your wounds as you take the blame for not being a good girlfriend. Love doesn’t move like that!

Every romantic relationship is replaceable. You read that, but you don’t truly understand it because you’ve allowed yourself to be brainwashed into thinking you can’t find a better man, that someone wanting you is a rare occurrence, and that it’s a woman’s job to make her relationship work by any means necessary. Fuck that noise! Relationship balance isn’t about putting a man first, isolating yourself, and no longer being social, it’s about continuing to maintain your individuality above all else. These little Basicas will tell you that people in relationships shouldn’t do this and that… that the goal is just to be laid up under a nigga… and these Pick Me women nod along. Why don’t we as men ever say these things to our boys? We don’t tell other men not to go out to the club because wifey’s at home. We don’t tell each other not to flirt with the thots at the drive-thru window. We don’t turn down drinks with the cute girl’s at work, and we don’t tell the homies we have to be home by a certain time. We do what we want because we know women aren’t going to leave a comfortable situation! “The Future Is Female,” no the fuck it’s not because men have rigged the rules of this world in their favor, and far too many of you play along because you don’t want to lose our love. Spartan Up and embrace the things I’ve been writing about for years because those women have actual happy endings.

One of my good friends posted a picture of her and Jay-Z on IG to wish him a happy birthday. Even though this picture was from years ago when they worked together, her fiancé flipped the fuck out about how she was disrespectful by posting another dude. What did she do? She cursed him out and laid down the law that if she wants to wish a male friend happy birthday, she will do so, as publicly as she wants. Her fiancé was then told politely that if that would be a problem, he could have the ring back. That’s power! Some of you Cosplay as Spartans, you claim you’re no-nonsense, but when it comes to defining the rules of a relationship you give in. Never love a person so much that you lower your standards or compromise your integrity to make them feel more secure in their skin. To bend once is to bend forever because dominating personalities will always see you as weak.

Could You Walk Away

The final test in terms of telling if you’ve lost yourself in a relationship is to ask, “what if we broke up tomorrow.” The argument that breaking up would crush you because you’re in love isn’t what I’m getting at. Breakups hurt and they’re hard to get over. What I’m driving at is how your life would look if you break up. Are you dependent on your boyfriend to the point where you would have no place to live, no one to talk to, etc… It’s normal to be in love and have those times where all you want to do is be around your person, but if all of your eggs are in that basket and you’re left emotionally, financially, or socially stripped then you weren’t in love, you were in a cult.

Moving cross country for a man. Joining your finances with a man. Using your credit for a man. Taking on his friends as your own friends. Cutting off family members for a man. You don’t do these things because you’re stupid, you do these things because you believe he’s your soulmate, the one that will be there for you for the rest of your life, and your actions are meant to prove to him that you don’t love halfway.

Spoiler Alert: Niggas don’t care. Men fall in and out of love, and “but I did…” won’t save you if you’re on the downside of his feelings. Do you want to be that sad chick who pretends to be the roommate when other women come over because you can’t break the lease? The fool who has to tell her friends she was the one paying for the baecations? Or be rebuilding your credit all over again in your 30s?  I’m not trying to scare you away from putting yourself out there, if you’re reading this most likely you’re already in a relationship. What I want you to do is be emotionally prepared in case it doesn’t work out. Have your own money. Maintain your support system. Stay woke to the realities that human emotions are often fleeting. Never be one of these “I can’t just up and leave,” types.

Reset the Rules

Relationships take work, and it’s easy to lose track of your own needs when trying to make someone else happy, but there’s no excuse for putting yourself last. Think about your current relationship, situationship, or whatever the fuck it is that you call yourself doing and be honest about how much power you have and how happy you are. Done? I know your grass isn’t as green as you pretend, I know you’re low-key depressed, and I know you have no idea how to fix your situation without destroying everything you’ve built.

This isn’t a call to break up and start over, it’s a smack in the face to hit reset. You’re too old to keep quiet, act passive-aggressive, or keep going on breaks. Open your mouth and have a real conversation, not the next time something pops up, I’m talking this week. Get a piece of paper and scribble out YOUR VISION for your relationship. No more of this “go with the flow” little girl shit that you’ve been doing because you’re afraid to be told “no.” You need to have a solid 3-year-plan for you and the guy you’re with. Write down where you want to be romantically. Most of you ladies are great when it comes to setting career goals but pussy out when you have to confront men. Not in Sparta. List out your path. Go over it a few times. Before a week goes by, meet with him and go over that 3-year-plan. This isn’t to demand or make ultimatums, men don’t need to be talked down to or bullied into acting right. I need you to start a dialogue that should allow you to get on the same page. Your man may surprise you with his own input, or he may disappoint you by blowing it off. It doesn’t matter if the conversation brings you closer or it proves that he will never give you what you want, the only thing that matters is that through this exercise will have now figured out the ultimate method to communicate get what you want. That power will benefit you for the rest of your life.

Thanks for reading Losing Yourself In A Relationship – How To Hit Reset

Does Dick Make Women Crazy?

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Far From BasYc

Good dick causes temporary insanity in some women. I dare you to find a man that doesn’t have stories about seemingly normal girls flipping out after sex. It’s almost like a pissing contest to sit around and tell each other our craziest story. Your dummy called you 10 times in a row and left 4 voice messages– my dummy called 22 times and then sent 32 text messages. Your ex came to your mother’s house begging moms to make you return her calls– my ex came to my job with a box full of my clothes and dumped them on my side chick’s desk like, “You can have him!” The more extreme her ratchet behavior is, the more kudos you get at the barbershop for being that dude who has these hoes acting out of character. Yes, ladies. We guys laugh at your silly asses way before we feel bad about ghosting you or breaking your heart. “It must be love, because she’s acting crazy” is something no man ever said, but women swear by it because they need to believe that these overblown emotions are proof of love– they’re not, those feelings are proof you need to read this entire article and get your mind right!

The thing that frustrates me is that women continue to play the role of comic relief knowing that acting out will always be in vain. In the history of the world there has never been a case of psychotic behavior being used to make a person fall in love. Call a dozen times, text a dozen more, scream with anger, cry tears of frustration, break a car window, leak a dick pic, attack other women… none of that will solve the “Like me like I like you” dilemma. So many women claim to have no fucks to give or to be above chasing a man, yet the vast majority do get sprung and become psychotic Dickchotic.

Crazy-As-Hell-Black-Girl

I didn’t return her call or text fast enough so she freaked out and took it to mean something deeper.

I couldn’t meet up with her this week now she’s acting passive aggressive and annoyed.

I’m apparently too good to be true, so she keeps swearing that I’m gamming her for pussy or money.

I liked a random girl’s picture on Instagram and now she’s stalking the girl and anybody that ever @’d her to see if we’re fucking.

Get that her gurl, she ain't bout that lifeThis kind of behavior is a deal breaker no matter how pretty you are or how normal you are most of the time. There is a switch that flips in the brain of some females the moment they think they’re being played and they panic. At this exact moment there is a girl internet stalking a dude that won’t return her calls. There’s another girl creating dummy accounts to follow the nigga she really likes to make sure he’s telling the truth about his life. And yet another hard up chick is getting her friend to pose as new pussy to thirst trap a boy she’s only been on one date with, because she wants to make sure she is the only girl he has eyes for. Who has time for that bullshit? What woman has so few options in her life that she becomes fixated on a man’s every move?

Penis depravity and boredom will have a female over-liking and over-thinking everything and it only takes one missed call or canceled date for her to erupt.  A guy that was convinced a girl was different on Tuesday wakes up on a Thursday to a series of text messages about, “where the fuck you been? If all you wanted was pussy you could have just said that. So you can’t respond back? I knew you weren’t shit from day one! Make sure to drop my iPhone charger off by tomorrow or I’m going to get my cousin to fuck you up!” The only thing that changed was that he missed a day talking to her, and in that 24-30hr period her overactive imagination turned her into the thing she swore she was not—the crazy bitch. This thirsty Dickchotic behavior isn’t reserved for jobless bored ratchets; it’s a mental condition that can plague women across the board.

“If you fuck with me, you’ll eventually return my call with a good reason. If you don’t fuck with me you won’t return my call. I won’t lose sleep either way.” –Mature Men

200128920-001Common sense tells you that if a dude isn’t calling you—move the fuck on. If a dude isn’t coming to see you—move the fuck on. If a man is doing the same things your exes did, he’s just as toxic, stop repeating the cycle and MOVE THE FUCK ON. Why get worked up and look stupid over someone who isn’t responsive or comes off as half interested at best? The only thing worse than chasing someone that doesn’t want you is creating a fantasy in your mind that every man is out to play you. You text your potential boo, he doesn’t respond, so you rush to his page and see that he’s commented on some twerk video—your heart breaks. How dare he not respond back to your dry ass “How’s your day going” text. How dare he continue to participate on social media when your text is on read? How dare he accept that friend request from Denisha RedBottomsStayFresh Johnson… is he fucking her? Is it something you said? Did you fuck him too fast? Did you not fuck him good enough? Did your pussy stink? Wait, was it your conversation? Are you boring? Did you come off sounding stupid? OMGOMGOMGOMG you’re going to be single FOREVER… Pump your over-eager breaks! You’re dating him, not married! The reason women ruin relationships is because they overthink the moment someone doesn’t move at the pace they want.

You haven’t had a real relationship since Ashanti had a hit song, and you’re nervous, anxious, and scared to death, but you need to relax and learn how to like a man without becoming infatuated.  Why jump the gun and assume you’re being played until you know the complete reasoning behind why he hasn’t responded or why he’s being distant? If he won’t give you a straight answer why keep entertaining that asshole? You, my dear, are weak. The fellas reading this know that the moment you call one of these bat shit crazies and explain what was going on all is forgotten. These chicks get all worked up, and then as soon as a dude calls at 11pm like, “I was thinking about you all day,”  it’s all hearts and rainbows again. If you go on a mental roller coaster every week because you’re afraid of being hurt then you don’t need to be dating, you need medication.

Men Act Like They Don’t Care

Most of you reading this know Basica Bruise Me, those women who are so mentally fucked up that they see yelling, hitting, and general jealous aggression as a sign of love. Most men keep emotions under wraps, so a guy getting mad and choking you for not answering your phone is sometimes the only way you can tell if he cares. That’s an unforgivably stupid concept. Anger is a emotion; it’s not the emotion that proves affection, dumb ass.  I’m always asked why men act as if they don’t care. What you really want to know is why the majority of men don’t get as emotional as women do, as if a man who is really down for you should be flying off the handle the moment he gets sent to voicemail. It’s not that men don’t care; it’s that we as males need a reason to fully care. Male fucks are sacred; any dude that’s not a simp doesn’t get in his feelings the moment a girl is acting distant or inconsistent. Going out on a few dates, sharing a few jokes, and giving up pussy doesn’t make you special to a man. You’re cool and he likes you a lot, but he likes 2-4 other women as well. So even if he says that you’re different and special, chances are that it’s the lust from his dick that is making his mouth butter you up like a piece of toast. Sure, there are women who pussy whip men or Spartan Whip them with a good conversation. Guys text paragraphs and get real annoying over the right woman, but it’s not as common. Like an Uber driver once told me “Bro, every single woman that gets in my car talks about boys, maybe 2 out of 10 guys talk about girls.

Men live by the theory of, “Next bitch, please” which means that no matter how funny you are, how smart you come off, or how bomb your deep throat skills are, the moment you start acting weird, we move on like, “Next bitch, please,” because men are well aware that there are other romantic options. Guys are scared to death of getting played by a female so in order to keep their hearts from being shattered they put a condom on their emotions. To get worked up over 60 day pussy that he hasn’t even bothered to claim goes against male programming. Men don’t need to blow up your phone or do a drive by to make sure you’re where you say you are, you’re community pussy until he decides that he wants more. Only simps and savages act pressed over timeshare coochie. If you are truly special, then a man will lay claim in order to avoid the stress of competing with other dudes or the confusion of if you really like him or are just playing the field. Boyfriend/girlfriend jealousy is understandable when you’re in an agreed partnership, but too many women are flipping out and overthinking the actions of men who refuse to claim them or men they are just getting to know.

That Dick Is Soooooo Bomb

You have sex, he makes you cum like you never came before. You want this to last forever… he ghosts you, you act a fool.

You have good sex, spend the next few months cuddled up and bonding. You want this to last forever… he ghosts you, you act a fool.

You have okay sex, but he’s so good to you and caring that you overlook the semi-trash dick. You want this treatment to last forever… he ghosts you, you act a fool.

Doesn’t matter how great a man’s penis is, women still act crazy. Right now there’s a woman crying over a guy who has never made her cum. Lesbian couples go through this same drama. Virgins act crazy as well. So what’s really going on? “Dick” is used as the excuse, in actuality you’re just emotionally sensitive because you want someone to love you. Sex is intimate, it’s vulnerable, and you foolishly tie your soul to it. It’s not about bomb dick, it’s not about good looks, it’s not about money, and it’s not about being naïve. It boils down to insecurity. You see other women who are being shown love and you desperately want that feeling too. You have never had a man truly love you for you and now that you got a taste of reciprocated male affection you don’t want to lose it…the moment you feel his attention or love slipping away, your emotions hack your brain and turn you into a monster that you can’t control because you misdiagnosed the problem as sex-based…

The Want To Be Loved

clingy-kimYou want everyone who meets you to like you. You want girls to think you’re cool. You want boys to think you’re sexy. If you deny any of what I just wrote you’re a liar. Few non-sociopaths can say, “I don’t give a fuck what other people think,” and mean it. Pride makes you lie to yourself, but your brain reminds you every time you go out that you should act, dress, or talk a certain way to appeal to the masses.  When someone doesn’t like you, there will always be a part of you that wants to find out why, and to change their opinion so they do like you. Humans don’t ever talk about this because our pride won’t let us admit that we have an internal approval rating that we keep track of. It’s much cooler to bullshit and play up that, “I don’t care” role. Wanting to be shown love isn’t the problem, but being obsessed with it does become dangerous. I’m not talking about internet THOTing for compliments or Selfie whoring for Likes, those things are innocent. What I want to focus on is that want for a man’s love to justify your greatness and how that can drive a girl insane.

A dude asks for your number and you’re on cloud 9 because he’s someone you were crushing on. You begin to talk to him, and it seems good… then he stops talking to you as much over the course of a month or so. What happened? What did you say wrong? What did you do to turn him off? Those thoughts then graduate to: What can I do to make him like me again? The hardest pill to swallow is that most of the time it’s nothing that you can do to make that guy want to keep talking to you. Girls hate to hear that because it goes back to that want to be loved. Boss bitches are over there are curving men daily, while you’re over here struggling to get just one to call you back. What the fuck is wrong with you? There is no doubt that you are a great woman, so why can’t this man who you’ve given a whiff of your personality see that? You call and ask him what’s wrong; he doesn’t want to hurt your feeling so he makes up an excuse about going through a busy time. You know it’s a lie, but you don’t accept it and you fit in his schedule. You offer to come to him. You even fuck him. At that moment you become a monkey dancing for a banana, because you want male approval. After the new pussy luster wears off, that man realizes what he knew two weeks into meeting you—you’re still not his type.

being_ignored_a_lot-456565Despite being understanding and comforting this man pushes you away by doing asshole things or by ignoring you. What do you do when faced with yet another obstacle? You keep trying to make him like you because the thought that there is a guy who got to know you and got to fuck you, and still doesn’t think you’re worth his time hurts like hell. The reason you start thinking irrational is because you won’t accept rejection; despite his push back you keep chasing that approval. The want to be loved by this man has overridden your common sense and you’re willing to do anything because you’re obsessed with getting him to see you the way that other people see you. The fucked up thing about scenarios like this is that it’s not even about the man! I’ve talked to girls who’ve been pressed over guys who are ugly, who are poor, who have limp dicks, and even dudes who they didn’t even want to talk to in the first place. It’s not the actual man, but what he represents. He doesn’t think you’re special, and as long as he keeps rejecting you, you’ll keep running back for more because you can’t give up without proving that you are a Game Changer. You’re not a Game Changer and you’re definitely not a Spartan. The moment you give another person the power to cloud your mind, you prove that you’re a typical weak bitch that every man has experienced and laughs about.

All you want is a boy to like you, and if he doesn’t like you, then he should let you know what it is about you that’s horrible so you can change. Stop letting dick dictate your life! No key fits every lock in the world, and no woman can ever fit every man in the world. You will be passed up, you will be rejected, and you will be gamed without explanation. You can’t keep changing to make the flavor of the week happy, because you will never be what every man is looking for. You can’t be overly guarded and treat every new guy as if he’s out to get you, because you’ll turn him off. The reality is that you can’t control how a man feels about you, but you can control your thoughts.

Your Own Worst Enemy

crazy-jealous-girlfriendIf you can’t handle the pressure of dating, then stop giving out your phone number. If you can’t deal with not knowing if a man likes you or not, then take a break from dating until you learn how to give about a dozen less fucks. You don’t want to eat because your “Him” retweeted his ex. You can’t sleep at night because you’re worried about “bae” meanwhile bae is at his crib snoring with a grin on his face because he ain’t worried about nothing. Do you really think that kind of depression means you’re in love? Look up “Love” and then look up “Stress” they do not share the same definition, so if you find yourself mentally drained every other week, it’s not “the process” you’re dealing with the wrong damn person! The excuse that it’s not your fault because he is driving you crazy with his mixed signals is a cop out because you can always walk away from bi-polar dick. Why does he keep calling you? Because you keep picking up! Why does he keep fucking you? Because you keep spreading your legs! Why is he acting like he doesn’t care all of a sudden? Because he’s gotten what he wanted and doesn’t care anymore. Why are you so attracted to this kind of emotionally unavailable and manipulative man? Because you are insecure! No matter how many other guys’ clit ride you, you need the challenge of that one guy who thinks you’re boring or average. The moment he loses interest or isn’t quick to show you the interest you’re craving, your insecurity runs wild. Getting that man to go back to liking you the same way he liked you the first week is all you think about. That nigga is not your father who abandoned you, he will not complete you emotionally nor does he want to.

 “I let a man talk his talk, but I judge him by his actions. If it looks like he’s playing games, I call him out on it. If he goes back to playing more games– snip snip. I don’t trip over dick.” –Spartans

sorry booSpartans don’t need a male cosigner, the love they have for themselves will always be enough. All the confident women reading this know how easy it is to take things slow with a new guy because they aren’t seeking a man’s approval. They will tell you how routine it is to cut off a guy, even one they liked, the moment he begins to act like a bitch. Penis isn’t rare, and conversation isn’t expensive, so why would a boss bitch wait by the phone for one guy to call her back? It’s always raining men in Spartan Country. But GL, it’s hard to let go without knowing what went wrong, I don’t want to keep making the same mistakes. You’re a woman, not a weave, you don’t need closure! You can ask that nigga a million times why he grew bored of you and it won’t make you feel better because the answer will always end in “You weren’t good enough for me.” You don’t live your life to be good enough for men, you live for self, and if your ass isn’t phat enough, your hair isn’t straight enough, or your personality isn’t exciting enough for a particular man, oh well! They didn’t stop making wedding bands after he was born, there will be another!

Is he playing me, why is he being distant, what does it mean when he only calls me at certain times, how could he be all over me one day and avoid me the next, and the list goes on…. Those are things I will always help women figure out on this site or one on one, but it does you no good to over-think to the point where you can’t function or you act out in frustration because you can’t figure him out. This is real life, not a fucking reality show reunion set where being Erica Mena crazy is cute! Leaving a dozen voice messages, going to somebody’s job to confront them, or threatening to fight another bitch– that’s young as fuck. Crazy doesn’t cure shit, it just adds to your problems. If a man opens his mouth, most likely it’s to lie. Yes, that’s fucked up and scary, but you don’t let that drive you crazy, you let it drive you to the next man that actually calls back and keeps promises. A woman with true self-esteem will never let a man break her mentally…

Thanks for reading Does Dick Make Women Crazy?

Spoiler Alert: He Doesn’t Want You!

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Far From BasYc

The email that started the fire…

…since the last time you heard from me you will be happy to know that I hit reset like you said and was able to finally cut ****** off completely, no relapses like before, but there is someone new. He’s my cousin’s coworker who I met once before when I was with ****** so while I admit I flirted with him, and physically he’s so my type, I wasn’t going to go there while in a relationship. My cousin must have told him I was single because I get a facebook message from nowhere. I’m not going to lie my stomach dropped, I have solid self-esteem but after ****** I haven’t felt as pretty, well not pretty enough for a guy that looks like him to be chasing me lol. I did something stupid, and I will put that out there before you call me out. I was so into the idea of this guy wanting me that when he asked if I wanted to come over to his apartment last weekend I agreed. I know, I should hold him to the same standards as other men, but he really is my dream guy lol. So we kicked it at his place, did nothing but talk. A day later he called me saying how all he could do was think of me. I ran back over there on Sunday. Spent the day talking again, kissing, and one thing lead to another. I figured he got what he wanted and that would be that, but the next day he checked in, was still acting cool, and wanted me to come spend the night. I did so this past Tuesday, and it went down again. The next morning I ask what he thought about me (asking questions after he got the kitty is Bassica Alba 101 but I’m sorry it just came out) and he said he thought I was funny and cool and sexy and all this other stuff that I was eating up. Then this fool says I’m moving into at least the 2nd spot on his team. Team? I thought he was joking, so I didn’t follow up. Lol I literally tried to black it out. Nothing changed, still talking through the day still being a gentleman.
Then my cousin calls me yesterday and says that they were eating in the break room and she asked what was good with us (I never told her to ask this) and he said it again, I made the team. She asked did that team mean like potential girlfriend, and he told her something like potential girlfriends don’t have to make the team they become the only player. This reminded me of the placeholder and game changer stuff you wrote about and I felt sick. All of our conversations have been very long and deep. I know you get that a lot but I am being so honest he even told me embarrassing things about growing up poor. So what is it that he doesn’t see in me? I know you can’t read his mind or sit in the room with us, but he’s the one that pursued me. Why waste his time and be so consistent even after we have had sex? For someone who allegedly is just on the team he is putting in a lot of phone time so I don’t buy it. I plan on going over there on Saturday but I will not have sex. My question to you is do I ask him why I’m just a team member and not seen as a potential relationship? Do you think this is just some dumb test he’s doing? I don’t know I feel like he’s just saying that to see if I’m loyal.

congratulations_basic

How long have I’ve been emphasizing a woman’s value? No man is so once in a lifetime that you hang on his nuts hoping you will win him over. There is not enough money, not enough good looks, not enough charisma, not enough fame, and not enough dick strokes in the world to run after a man who wouldn’t even walk for you. Yet I still get emails like this where the writing is on the wall: You Are Pussy. The ego on some women is so big that even when a man shows her she’s pussy, treats her like pussy, but tells her “oh you’re cool tho,” all she hears is the last part. Read between the damn lines!

Men don’t lie that good, they don’t have good poker faces, and their actions aren’t hidden. If he’s treating you like something to do, I don’t care what’s coming out of his mouth, that means you’re just something to do! But we have long convos, But we have chemistry, But he wants to see me. If he wanted you, he would have you. All these “But we” affirmations are window dressings for the ego. How many times are you going to allow a man to fuck you over before you realize he doesn’t care about you? Going over his house to have “The Talk” isn’t going to make him want you more. Not calling him for two days isn’t going to make him want you more. Cursing him out isn’t going to make him want you more. You know this, but your pride is so hell bent on a man not curving you that you keep trying to keep the chapter open long after you’ve read the reveal. Just because he still answers your calls and wants to see you, doesn’t mean you haven’t been emotionally curved. So many of you reading this have been rejected and don’t even know it because the guy still plays along as if you’re actually an option. Think about the guy you’re currently talking to, dating, fucking, mad at, exclusive with, etc… and ask yourself how he makes you feel… If the words “confused, frustrated, or Idunno,” pop in your head then it’s already over. If you have to wonder if you’re in first place, then you’re not. You’re never going to be his girlfriend, you’re not even his friend, you’re just another girl with low self-esteem who stubbornly won’t take the hint—You’re not what he’s looking for.

youhurtornahThis idea that if a man chases you that means he wants you, is a myth. A male’s lust for your pussy has nothing to do with you as a person. We as men don’t see personality at first, we see a vagina. Men only stop seeing you as vagina, when you clearly demonstrate that he can’t get away with the same bullshit that typical girls let him get away with. That’s the problem with most women, they say they’re different but rarely show their difference. You don’t challenge men, you roll over. You don’t want to risk pushing him away with questions that gage his motives or tests that prove whether he’s been paying attention during those conversations or just nodding along. Guys like the one above, know that women compromise their value in order to earn “she’s cool” approval. Those women on his Team are there because none of them had the balls to say, “No, I’m not coming over, here’s where you can take me tho.” They are on his team because they think, “Let me show him I’m down to earth and not demanding.” Men love running through women that don’t expect shit but pizza and a 2-liter, but they don’t keep them! Remember, guys aren’t looking to reset their body counts at the end of the year like women, the goal is to raise it! Do you really think because he Facetimes you and acts as if he misses you that his dick isn’t for every semi-cute girl? Dudes aren’t out here saving dick for marriage, these dudes are for everybody! All the time you spend texting and talking, you can’t figure that out? Because you’re not trying to figure him out, you’re trying to fit in so he continues to like you.

I was once asked, “Why do men say they want certain things, get it, then leave for someone who doesn’t do those things.” If a money hungry person loses their wallet, and someone says they’ll replace what was stolen, that person won’t say the wallet was empty. They make up a high but believable amount and cash in on that kindness. If a girl asks a man what he wants in a woman, he’s going to say one that doesn’t go out much, covers her body, is loyal to a fault, sucks his dick like a champ, doesn’t nag, gives him space and privacy… they make up fantasy wifey traits and cash in on a naïve woman’s want to impress him. Every time you even ask that dumb as question of “What are you looking for,” you’re setting yourself up to get robbed! A man doesn’t want a slave that buys into his fantasy, he wants a fucking Queen that says, “fuck what you want, this is who I am!” A woman should never set out to become what one particular man claims he’s looking for, her only goal is to become so secure in her value that she doesn’t give a fuck what these men want if it isn’t her. That sense of worth will make you intuitively what all men of value are looking for—His Match.

What He Really Thinks of You
running thru the pussy

I’m not taking Pussy out: She wants to make sure that I like her and respect her, but I don’t need to spend money to do that. Only simps treat these hoes, I’m going to show you how it’s done. Bitches love two things: Their Birthdays and Attention. I’m going to text her every morning, and be consistent with the emoji game. Get her open. Get her behind closed doors. Listen to her talk and talk and talk about her boring ass life. Tell her she’s special. Fuck her like I’m fresh out of jail. Repeat. Keep hitting that until her pussy expires and then I’ll find a new bitch.

I’m not taking Pussy seriously: I like when she gets mad and acts passive aggressive. It’s kind of sexy to see a girl act crazy when I push her buttons. I know she feels as if she’s pussy because… well she is pussy. But all I need to do is play dumb, tell her she’s making it up, convince her that I care, and then once she’s calmed down, I’ll throw this dick like a Cam Newton pass. That will shut her up with all that “what are we” nonsense. Repeat. Keep hitting that until her pussy expires and then I’ll find a new bitch.

I’m not afraid of Pussy’s threats: She’s all in her feelings about how she’s going to cut me off because I don’t value her, yeah right. If this whore was going to cut me off, I’d be cut off. I know she’s only acting like that to get my attention. I’ll play her dumb ass game. I’m going to stop answering her calls for a week maybe two… pop back up on this crybaby and blame her for pushing me away in the first place. I’ll take responsibility for my part *snickers* and then eat her pussy like I’m District 12 hungry. In a month she’ll come back at my neck saying “nothing’s changed like you promised,” but by that time her pussy will be expired and I’ll have already found my next bitch.

Turning A Queen into A Peasant

How Do You Take Away A Woman’s Power?

By Making Her Feel Guilty For Having It.

Spoiler Alert: He Doesn't Want YouA lot of men are in the business of lowering your standards, this insures that they always have a shot no matter their situation. Guys with money that look like Odell Beckham and are as generous as Bill Gates, can’t have a monopoly on the top shelf pussy. So the propaganda of it’s totally fine that he’s struggling to figure out what he wants in life, that he brings nothing to the table, and that he expects you to hold him down, is framed by “that’s what a real woman does, because she’s not a gold digger.” Men mindfuck women with guilt in order to create an environment of selflessness. You’re not supposed to be shallow and want good looking guys, you’re not supposed to be spoiled and want men that make as much money as you do or more, and you’re supposed to put half, if not more, of your own money up during the dating process or you’re a hoe. “Let me take out my debit card, I don’t want him thinking I’m that type of girl…” What, the type with high standards? Example. If I say something about how a man should always pay on dates, most men will cry, “Fuck that, it’s not about the money we spend. It’s the effort.” Why? Because they don’t want women adopting standards that they will have to then adapt to and follow. If I say something about Netflix and Chill being basic, there’s the Xbox Live crew there to remind you that there’s nothing wrong with a night in, it’s the time he’s spending that’s most important. Finally, if I talk about how men honestly know in a matter of weeks if a girl is “It” or not, guys will pop up with, “Not always, some of us need time to blah blah blah.” Are your eyes open yet? If not let me spell it out for you. Men use your kindness to get away with murder because they realize society has conditioned women to be selfless to the point of exploitation.

There are tons of great guys out here who know how to treat a lady, but you will never reach them because you’re giving losers all your time. How many months or years have you wasted with a man who you were giving a chance to show you he was more than what he appeared? How did wasting time with “potential” work out? I’ll wait… you took an L, bitch! You will always take that L when you put He before She. This isn’t a man’s fault, he’s simply trying to upgrade his stable, it’s your fault because you’re allowing him to upgrade at your expense! You feel guilty for wanting what you actually want, so you lower your head and tell yourself it’s honorable to settle for less. Fuck honor! Who benefits the most from you having low standards? From you being understanding? From you trying to fix a broken man? From your “stand by him,” guilt? In their world, your pussy should not have a class system, it should be given without working for it, just because they deserve it. Your vagina is not a socialist country! You have the right to have shallow standards, because shallow standards are the only way you get high quality men! I don’t care how guilty these broke dudes make you feel; you should only be able to be attained by the best of the best!

netflix and chillThink about this, if you’re Paul the Barber from East Baltimore who doesn’t have much clientele, you’re broke. You can have enough money to pay your car note, to maintain rent, buy Jordans, and to go out every now and then, but that’s young shine. At the end of the day you don’t have real money to be spending unless it’s a necessity. Paul makes himself and men like him out to be “worth it in the long run,” because broke dudes do two things exceptionally well: impregnate and sell dreams. He’s telling you that dates should be shared, because he knows he can’t afford both you and his Xbox games. He’s telling you that home cooked meals and watching Scandal is a real date because his disposable income goes to either drink or loud. The moment he hears someone attempt to uplift a female with the idea that “Girls need to aim high,” he gets upset and reminds women that it’s not all about what a man has right now… Why? Because the moment you women actually aim high, he has to step out of his comfort zone. When you set your bar high, a man will either show you he actually thinks enough of you to invest the little he has in trying to reach it, or go back to the ratchets who are happy with Henny, Netflix, and Dick. One of the counter arguments is “I’m saving my money,” men over 25 and in poverty don’t save money! Him taking you to a dinner isn’t denting his imaginary orange account. A good date costs the same as his sneakers, but the difference is those kicks are a must-have, you’re just a have. The point is these type of men would rather make excuses than to make plans with you because with enough guilt you feel it’s your duty to give broke dick a shot. The ironic thing is that a lot of women listen to what the majority of these kinds of men say and buy into their logic. Regardless of what man is in your ear trying to convince you to sympathize, there has to be a moment where you think, “Wait, is this dude trying to keep my standards low so he can fuck for free with minimal effort and have me assuming that it will lead to a relationship when he’s mentally ready?” You have to wake the fuck up! Most of you protest about racial, financial, and gender inequality, but in your own life you’re allowing yourself to be fucked over by the biggest oppressors in the world—Men that see you as pussy.

Women control the spreading of legs, but men are the gateway to the relationship. In the end, you can’t get into a committed relationship unless a man says, “yes,” and that’s what’s at the root of this weak bitch behavior. Your entire life is built around getting that guy who you like to like you back enough to where he will only want to be with you. There is so much time spent trying to impress these men, but you don’t stop to think that it’s the man that should be impressing you. You shouldn’t have to work hard to get a commitment, either you are what he finds impressive or you aren’t. However, the lack of confidence in yourself makes you obsess over things you should do to further prove yourselves. You give up control of your pussy, you do him favors, you show him that you’re understanding of his lifestyle, you avoid coming off as high maintenance. Women compromise over and over again, all so they can get a man’s approval, failing to realize that he has already decided you’re nothing special.

Let’s look at guys that are financially well off, they too benefit from the Paul’s of the world because once one man lowers you, he can come in flash money, trick a little bit, and have you convinced that you’re being valued because girls like you aren’t used to being spoiled. So many women come bouncing in my inbox about what a guy spent because they are used to men that are broke or cheap. The new guy understands that by doing the materialistic things that others wouldn’t, he gets you fast and easy. He doesn’t have to put in energy, just money, and your’re open once again off that P-word–Potential. “But why did he take me out so many times and waste all that money when it wasn’t guaranteed he’d hit?” Because it ain’t tricking if you got it! You can still be just pussy, even if you rack up a $200 dinner bill and get a birthday gift. It’s a hustle that men with bread have mastered. You want to be his princess so you don’t vet that man, you soak up the fantasy, roll over, and give him the world in hopes that he will lock you down.

No matter if it’s a rich man or a poor man, that thirst to be loved blinds you to the obvious red flags and then transforms into paranoia. You’re wondering what kind of girl he likes in terms of looks, so you can become that, what kind of girl he likes in terms of personality, so you can adapt those traits, and what kind of girl wows him as oppose to bores him, so you can guarantee that he doesn’t ghost you anytime soon. Him Him Him! That’s where 9 out of 10 of you are fucking up mentally. In the end you have to be willing to step back, read his actions, ignore the lies coming out of his mouth, and see the obvious: He doesn’t want you!

You Still Don’t Get It

CmilliMost men don’t want you, they want to fuck you, know the difference. Assuming that generic acts of kindness are a reflection of genuine interest is a rookie mistake. Phone calls and compliments mean nothing. Time and consistency reveal everything. If he’s not showing you what you want to see, then he’s showing you what you need to see: Your value is limited in his eyes. You don’t need to give someone a second chance to show you that you’re a second option. Your self-respect needs to weight more than his potential! So many women fall in love with what a man says he will do and ignore what he’s doing presently. Potential can’t buy you a cup of coffee, and promises are worth even less. Stop making excuses as to why you’re being dumb over dick, and start filling these holes! He always wants to hang out and doesn’t pressure you for sex—You’re open. He brought you a gift and men never get you things just because—You’re open. He’s popular or famous and he’s putting his attention on you—You’re open. He listened to you vent when he didn’t have to—You’re open. Act like you’ve had a man give a fuck about you before, and stop getting open off the basics!

To listen to you tell it, you don’t need a man for anything, guys don’t do anything but lie and cum fast, you’re a boss bitch, blah blah blah! Then why are these men able to make you act like a typical bitch the moment they take their attention away? Why are you being petty, why are you crying at night, why are you lurking on his social media, why are you constantly reaching out, why are you going over to see him, WHY DO YOU STILL WANT HIM! How can you be so defensive in your attitude, but so defenseless in your actions? I see the cracks in your armor, and so does every man with half a brain. We don’t want women like you, emotional messes that let us get away with everything. A female’s insecurity glows from a mile away. He knows that a man’s love is so important to you because your own love isn’t good enough. Males don’t have mercy, on the weak, they feast, and you’re just another meal.

Despite everything I’ve written, you want to be the exception to the rule, you want to believe so bad that there has to be something real inside of him that actually feels the same way about you that you feel about him.  …hope is a hell of a drug. Even when you realize these men don’t want you, you refuse to cut them off or even let them go without closure. Women pretend they don’t care about who likes them, but obsess over it. He doesn’t call you when he says he will, you hate him, you block him, you make a proclamation that you don’t need him… then the next day you unblock him because you know damn well you don’t want to miss his call. A guy who keeps playing games, putting you second or third, you don’t cut him off; his lack of interest does the opposite, and you become driven to get him to like you the same as he did when you first started talking. Some women can’t even let a man fallback in peace, you need to send emails, long ass texts, even handwritten letters that tell the story from your side. Did Adele’s ex pick up that phone? No. Will your little friend read any of that crybaby bullshit you’re sending him—Fuck No. He’ll scan it over, and either stay out of your life, or see it as an opening to come back and finish milking your lovesick ass. You don’t want closure; you want him to want you back because your ego can’t take a man showing you that you’re nothing special.

Go ahead and sit up at night overthinking ways to prove yourself. Go ahead and call your friend and ask them repeatedly, “So what do you think he means by that,” until they get sick of hearing about your basic bitch problems. Go ahead and ignore the signs, keep playing his game, and attempt to grow on him over time. If you want to chase dick, then chase dick, but when you fail (and you will fail) and reality bites you in the ass, I want you to come back and re-read this entire post. I gave away the ending, but you will still chose to keep dealing with someone that didn’t want you because of misplaced pride and an overblown ego. In the words of the little boy from the Sixth Sense, “I see typical bitches…

If you’re ready to learn the game, upgrade your mistakes, and WIN then click below and read the step by step guide:

From Placeholder to Game Changer (Click Here For Free PDF)

Audiobook also Available Click Here

Thanks for reading Spoiler Alert: He Doesn’t Want You!

Signs You’re Going To Be Ghosted

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Far From BasYc

Men know after the first conversation how long it’s not going to last. Understand that it’s easy to box a woman in and classify her in the same category as prior exes or flings. This isn’t a case of males being assholes, it’s a survival instinct—Woman X is reminding you of Woman Z who turned out to be a waste of time, so Woman X gets placed in that “Never Take Her Serious” box. There are always personality traits that tells a man that your value is limited. Good time girl, a fling, something to do, a friend… doesn’t matter how you sugar coat his label, you’re pussy. Your job is to scratch a physical itch maybe once, maybe twice, maybe for a summer, or every time he visits the city, but in our male mind we’ve boxed you in as something to DO not someone we would seriously be with.

Most of you know this. You either proclaim that your personality is so bomb that you’re not pussy or point that there are always exceptions to the rule. Yup, it’s come down to that—chasing after these user men because you desperately want to be the exception that proves that pussy can one day get a wedding band. I’m not here to rain on your Basica dreams, I’m here to give you some insight into the male mind. No matter how much I write about “are you the wifey type or just pussy,” there are women who still don’t get the underlying message. When you get Ghosted, it’s proof that the person was NEVER into you the way they pretended. This “One That Got Away” anxiety has too many of you making a fool of yourself in the name of loving someone that never wanted you. Instead of dwelling on why they’re acting different or why they suddenly went missing, you need to let go! Stop having relationship problems with someone you’re not in a relationship with. Stop seeking closure with someone who gave you their ass to kiss. Most importantly, learn to read the signs so it won’t happen again. Today I’m going to run down some early tell signs that will help you walk away or hit reset on how a guy looks at you before he decides to Ghost you.

You Like Him More Than He Likes You

The way you meet a person isn’t that important. The number one question single people ask happy couples is “how did you meet” because they’re searching for an easy solution to repeat their formula. That girl met her guy on Tinder, and they’re vacationing around the world—you met a guy on Tinder, and he was trying to get you to drive to him and have a house date. That girl met her guy at a gas station, now they’re engaged—you met a guy at a gas station who turned out to be a stalker. Fuck the “how did you meet” stuff and accept that you can and will attract men wherever there are men breathing air. The crucial part of this process is how you come off when your paths cross. If you’re on his dick with a cheesy smile, his ego will box you in. Doesn’t matter if he had to come up and get your number or if you played hard to get, your nervous energy has already given you away. There are women who I advise who don’t mind making the first move and approaching a man, but they then proceed to act like he’s just one of many, this humbles his ego. Guys eat that shit up and chase. Meanwhile, there are a lot of you “come over to me if you want me” chicks who melt the moment a cute guy showers you with attention, and he proceeds to plunder you senseless. Again, it’s not about the “how” of meeting or approaching it’s about the power of your personality.

Their jokes hit harder when you want to fuck them. That’s how he knows you’re open… Your mouth gets extra-smart when you think a guy is fine. That’s how he knows you’re open… You will let a man who just met either keep you out all hours of the night or agree to see him less than 24 hours because you’re sprung off the shallow traits. Ladies, you think your game is tight, but it’s not. Men are poker players! Guys who know the game are trained to pick up on the vibe of who doesn’t fuck with them and who will fuck them. All the little shy games you play like having an attitude, mean mugging, playing it cool, or being overly professional are just as obvious as those women who blush and over-laugh. Men hunt pussy, not girlfriends, not homegirls, not text buddies—they want to fuck on something. He knows how attractive he is, how paid he is, or how funny he is, therefore he knows what to lead with to impress your type because he’s seen your type several times before. The majority aren’t Spartans, you aren’t unique in the way you come off. There is a look women give handsome men. There’s a special treatment women give men with money. There is a vibe women give men who are funny or charming. Within the first hour of meeting you or that first text exchange, a man knows if you like him more than you should. He’s not flattered that you think he’s bomb af, he’s licking his chops because your thirst for a man like him is going to lead to easy pussy.

The Pick Me’s think the way to a man’s heart is to be convenient. Queens know that the way to snatch a man’s soul comes through his ego! Make these guys squirm. Stop being so available. Make them unsure if you like them, and in turn, they will overcompensate. They will act extra because they want a reaction. I have stories for days from girls in LA who have had your favorite celebs chasing after them because they never act like groupies. A lot of you are groupies for these regular ass dudes in your city, and they all know it which is why they’re able to blitz you with attention, fuck you, and move on to the next. Learn to do more than play hard to get—BE HARD TO GET.

He Doesn’t Really Talk To You

Every few weeks I get a story that includes some form of “let me show you what he texted me… what should I write back?” I’ve read all kinds of text convos, and the one thing that stands out is that men and women don’t actually talk these days.

He likes to text so you text, not talk because you’re used to letting a man do what he wants to.

Earth to Typical Tina—there’s no such thing as a relationship where you mostly text. What you’re in is a situationship. If a man is into a woman, he will want to hear her voice at least once a day. I don’t care how busy his life; a man finds time because extraordinary women are addictive! Your early relationship is built on texting “WYD” and sending flirty Gifs… a Spartan’s early relationship is built on a man blowing up her phone or trying to Facetime her. A dude will test you to see how much time he has to invest in you. If you like to text more than talk—great, that means he can keep recruiting new bitches without you holding him up. In terms of sexual chemistry keeping it text-based works better because you two can sext and turn each other on, not talk about real things that bond people.

By the time you go on that next date, sex is going to happen because sex and how your day was is ALL you text about. Fast forward a week later, you’re confused as to why he’s not texting back as quick or showing you the attention you’re used to… You’re shooting off all these paragraphs cursing him out. He’s playing stupid. Now you’re worried that you’re overreacting and pushing him away even more—welcome to the world of being a Basica who never got to know a man. You over-think, let him play mind games, and ask everyone “let me show you what he texted me…” because you’re trying to guess the personality of a man who you should have got to know through conversation, not endless texting. Make him pick up the phone! Have verbal conversations. 6-hour dates aren’t the same as constant conversations where you get to know a person day by day. The more you know him, and the more he knows you, the less likely he’ll Ghost you.

You Fuck Him Without Much Effort (Duh!)

GL my cousin slept with her now husband on the first date—GL my best friend sucked her boyfriend’s dick in his car the first day they met—GL I waited 90 Days like Steve Harvey said, and he still fell back after sex.” These are real things I’ve heard over the years. Realize that it’s not the sex; it’s the connection! If a man thinks you’re amazing, funny, the opposite of all his exes, he’s going to want to keep talking to you after sex because you’ve shown how rare you are based on his life experience. If a man isn’t trying to settle down and is just hunting pussy, it doesn’t matter if you’re the most interesting chick in the world, once he busts a nut he’s out. You will never know which type of man you’re getting when It’s the first date, so it’s better to hold off if “true love” is more important than riding his beard. Ladies, fuck who you want to fuck, but you know how 90% of men will react after they sleep with you. Therefore, a smarter strategy will always be asking yourself—has he earned this bomb ass pussy or is this just lust telling me to slide my panties off? Know yourself! Know your history! Know the best strategy to get what you really want! If having sex too fast has burnt you in the past—stop. If you tried using some 90-day shit and see that all you did was waste time—stop. Follow your own sexual compass! …and if it’s broke, I have an entire book about vetting that can help you make a better choice.

The Level of Dates

A man values what he invests his money and time in. Look at the way he’s courting you in terms of initial dates, is he investing any real money or time to see you and get to know you? The first date should show you if he’s trying to impress you like you’re special or if he’s just phoning it in like you’re another typical bitch. Driving to meet you, not halfway, but all the way, is a basic effort. Taking into consideration the activities you like to do, or the type of food you like to eat is a basic effort. Every man knows how to be romantic, thoughtful, and impress a woman! Yet, some of you reading this never experience the bare minimum dating effort because these men see you as either easy or cheap. A grown ass man who invites you out to drink coffee in the same outfit he wears to play ball with his boys is already showing you where you rank. I get it, you ladies want to be careful, not lead a man on, make sure the place is public—but fuck drinking a latte, there’s plenty of quality restaurants where you can do the same thing, and more importantly, challenge him to step up and wow you.

Tell these men to date like gentlemen, GL!” Nah, how about you start raising the bar like the Spartan you were born to be!  Don’t be mad at him because YOU let him fuck for the cost of a Grande Macchiato. House dates, car dates, hanging out with groups of friends—who taught you that shit was cute?  Stop accepting these low maintenance dates in an attempt not to seem like a gold digger. Never overcompensate to get chosen. Guys chase the unattainable and fuck and duck the attainable! You know this, which is why you get in your feelings every time you get hustled out of pussy. Make them work, sis! Get in their pockets! Ask to go to nice places and do new things! No man Ghosts something that they feel they invested too much in.

The Schedule Switch

This guy you’re stressing over had so much time when you first met, didn’t he? He would hit you up during the day, at night, want to see you when he got off work, even cancel weekend plans just to get some time with you. That’s what a man should do—is what you were thinking during this period… then he gets comfortable. His job switched his schedule. He’s doing a lot more hours at work. He’s trying to study for a big exam. Blah Blah Fucking Blah. Ladies, understand that men hide behind half-truths. Let’s say he has to help his friend move at 8am. That now gives him a reason to not see you for the rest of the day, even though the move only took three hours. Yeah, he’s putting in more hours, but If you knew his XBOX Live name, you would see that working didn’t stop him from staying up and playing the game until 2am in the morning.

Guys hide behind their schedule because they don’t want to deal with you once they got what they came for. “Why doesn’t he just tell me this and let me go do me?” Oh Basica, you must not have read the archives of this site… A man would rather freeze pussy than turn it loose, it’s called having a stable, beloved. What he’s doing is living his life with the freedom he wants, and he only has to pretend to like you a few hours out of the week when it serves him. He’s already done with you, but you’re the blind one that thinks these are “relationship problems.” Spoiler Alert: You’re not even in a relationship! You’re the part-time vagina who was silly enough to fall for “I’ve been busy, babe.”

The Art of Ghosting

Why is ghosting so popular? A) It allows you to walk away without confronting a person with the true reason you don’t like them. B) It leaves things open-ended, which allows you to make up an excuse that sounds nicer and come back for seconds one day. For a person to Ghost the right way, they need a smokescreen. Unless it’s a one-night stand, most people aren’t just going to disappear, it’s usually a slow fade. Ghosting is such an anxiety-inducing phenomenon because it leaves the Ghosted person asking, “maybe they’ll come back.” Don’t be ashamed if you’re clueless when it comes to catching on late to what’s going on. Here are some examples of smokescreens that men use—

“You Stopped Calling Me!” = Start by playing soft phone tag with a girl. You don’t answer but call back when you know she’s not free. When you do talk, it’s only for a second because you’re about to go somewhere. You text her something dry to keep up appearances, but it’s not the usual banter when you were into her. Eventually, communication slows down. You’re now free to ignore her calls completely and text her “Let’s talk when things cool down on my end.” Months later, if you run into her or if you’re horny and need someone foolish enough to recycle your dick, you can hit her up like nothing happened. She’ll give you attitude, but you can hit her with—You’re the one who stopped calling me. Now she’s mind-fucked enough to give you a second chance because it seems like miscommunication not a lack of interest—this is how weak-minded women get exploited, don’t be her.

“A lot of things were going on with my family” = Again, half-truths. A sickness or death in the family can easily be used to get rid of an expired pussy. Someone losing their job or taking on extra responsibility is something a woman can’t argue with because it’s family and females are typically always about taking care of family. This frees the man to fade away and then pop up when he wants another round, and the woman won’t question it, she’ll just understand that he had to go handle business.

“Clearly, I’m not what you’re looking for” = A man that’s planning to Ghost you will ask a lot of questions about your ex-boyfriends, male friends, guys a work. He’s not jealous, he’s making sure he has an out. The moment you tell him you spoke to your ex, the guy at work did something nice, or even if he sees that you liked some guy’s picture on IG, this type of asshole will use what you did as ammunition to back out of the relationship you thought you were building. Trust, I have so many emails that go, “I know I was wrong for giving my best friend’s brother a ride because I knew he liked me, but my friend sees it as disrespect, how do I get him to give me another chance.” The Mindfuck strikes again! It’s so easy to guilt a weak woman because they are already damaged and paranoid. Every woman will have a man flirt with her, will interact online, or have some guy from the past pop up during the year. A Ghoster knows this, and the moment it happens he’ll act hurt, you’ll fall for it, and he’s free to walk away—but like all of these, he’s free to come back because he made you seem like the bad person.

“Too tired for sex” = Men talk about sex all the time, they think about it all the time, they want to have it all the time—until they get into a relationship or situationship with a woman, they’re no longer feeling. It’s not that his sex drive has dried up after only months, your vagina expired faster than he imagined it would. I write this in all my books—Vagina expires. Not the physical feeling, but the mental spark that makes a guy super-hard and lusty. In the average three-month relationship, he’s probably had sex with you well over a hundred times, every position, seen all your tricks, and while he still cums fast, emotionally he’s looking for something different.

That girl who pops up on IG, the new chick who moved into your building, even his ex who’s old pussy now has a new luster because of the time gone by… Doesn’t matter who he wants next, it only matters that he doesn’t want you. A lack of sex will make you feel unsexy. Now you’re looking for attention elsewhere, trying to make him jealous, or maybe you even say something directly. Regardless of the way you handle it, that gives him a reason to bring up other things or argue another point—now that the door is open to stop talking to you, he runs away. It wasn’t the pussy it was the woman attached who he grew bored of bending over.

 “You always overreact this is why we don’t work” = The ultimate way to Ghost a girl is to make her feel like she’s crazy and that she left you no choice. Your “man” is the one who is acting different, having an attitude, not wanting to spend time or go out anymore. What do you do this fix this problem? As a woman, you respond to this more times than not with anger, not logic. That guy is waiting for you to blow up and start a fight about what he doesn’t do for you. He will then throw in your face all the things he does do for you to make you feel ungrateful. You will argue back that you do a lot for him too. He then brings it back to the original argument point that you’re always catching attitudes over every little thing. The reality is that all you do is argue, so why should you keep dealing with each other. Where’s the lie?

The man has just outsmarted you. He created the environment of hostility because he knew you would start to feel unappreciated and bottle it up. He kept poking at you with his behavior, and you took the bait and blacked out on him. Now he can say you’re crazy and he needs space. Most women in this situation will apologize and kiss ass, the men may hang around for a few more weeks to milk this new treatment… but slowly he falls back. When you ask him or send a bunch of texts, he has the perfect excuse that makes him seem like the good guy—you know how you act. You need to work on yourself before I could ever be with you on that level.

Un-Ghostable

During the first month of dealing with a man, he is wearing a mask. Instead of letting the butterflies, attention, and fantasy of him being the “one” take over, stay focused on getting to know him. I understand that it’s easier said than done. You want to love and be loved, so you get excited over a person and believe the words of affirmation that are rolling off their lips are truths. Nevertheless, you’re not 17, you’re a grown ass woman. You’re not battling against men that want to use you, the real enemy is your own mind. Men have ZERO power over you. Recognize that YOU control the access to your heart. Discriminate! Why are you so afraid to test these dudes via real actions and real questions? You can’t chase off a man that was meant for you, what you do is narrow the field until you’re left with quality choices. Stop all the basic bitch crying about no options. You will continue to be exploited if you see these men as one of a kind or something that you need to cling to instead of test. A Spartan would never gush, “I want him so bad,” she thinks, “What’s his agenda?” I Spartan would never ask, “how do I get him back,” she thinks, “Good riddance!” You are a Goddess, rid yourself of these soft emotions, and project your power!

Thanks for reading Signs You’re Going To Be Ghosted

Is He Boyfriend Material or Settle Dick?

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Far From BasYc

No matter if you’re a Hot Girl, City Boy, Book Worm, or anti-social home body, the summer will drop someone in your lap. I get the most emails asking for advice in July and August, mostly from women who are having all levels of dick thrown at them and they have no idea how they suddenly got so popular. Here’s what I’ve seen over the past week: G.L. I met this guy at a gas station and now he’s trying to take me on vacation. G.L. this guy from high school popped back up, telling me how I was the one that got away. G.L. here’s a screenshot from [insert famous person’s name] what do I DM him back?

Women win in the summer! This shit is like being in college where you’re blitz by cute dick, rich dick, broke dick, ugly dick, simp dick, player dick, foreign dick, sponsor dick, and it’s overwhelming because too many women don’t know how to juggle men. Men lose the fall and winter because they don’t realize they’re only getting attention because their summer fling ghosted that ass. Today I want to address the women that settle and men that allow themselves to be settled for…  Ladies you should be ale to date multiple men (date not fuck, Thotiana) who you actually want to be with not waste time with guys who don’t even get your pussy moist. Fellas you should have the confidence in yourself and wisdom to know when a woman is really into you versus one who just needs a text buddy or a free meal. Buckle up, drop your defenses, and allow me to put a much needed foot in all your asses…

Attention Is For Peasants

How many guys do you have in your phone right now actively messaging you or calling you. That shit’s not rhetorical. Pause and add them up. Now out of all of those men, how many of them do you really want? How many of them can actually bring something to your table? How many of them are impressive enough to put in front of your family and friends and get props? I’ll answer for you– maybe one. There are men that blow you away and who you obsess over, then there are the rest— the “he’s okay” crew who you pick up when bored.  Most women don’t need to manipulate for sex, mind you, but they will manipulate for attention. Right now, there’s a man whose only purpose in a woman’s life is to keep her company via text while she’s at work. He thinks he’s in there, that he’s earning points, but once home, she’s on the phone with the guy she really wants or stressing over the guy that doesn’t want her. Right now there is a man reading this who thinks he is his girlfriend’s first choice, but in reality he’s not even the second or third. The only reason that man was granted access was because he was the easiest option in terms of getting a commitment.

Men don’t want to hear these things, because it creates doubt and gives way to paranoia. Women know how to work their magic and charm to get what they want, and I respect those traits when it’s used to get their first choice. However, too many women misuse their skill sets to prey on easy men, instead of the ones they actually want. The average woman doesn’t feel as comfortable going at Man A (her dream guy) as she does going after Man C (her consolation guy). For some reason, she can Spartan Up or use Ho Tactics on the second stringers, but doesn’t feel right using it on the Starters. In your phone you have a bunch of Man C’s, the nice guys, the lames, the simps, the friend zoners, etc… you’re wasting their time and they are wasting your time, but again. You take what you’re given, you don’t go after the Man A’s that you want because– duh you’re a scared ass. The funny thing is that men tend to say misogynistic things because most of those clowns on your timeline have been the Man C, the one that got used for attention.

I’ve seen social media rants from guys who vent about those women who claim there are no good men left. These males are those allegedly good men who are trying to step up, but are constantly passed on. Although these men are bitter, they have a valid point. When a woman says, “Why can’t I find a good man,” she really means, “Why can’t I find a good man that looks the way I want him to look and likes me back?” There are more men struggling to get pussy than ones that get it daily, but the internet doesn’t talk about these men. Instead we focus on the Players who girls chase, not the low-key guys that girls curve. Man C outnumbers Man A in this world, but that fact is never talked about. It’s like rap music, there are way more Black men going to college than trapping out of Bando’s, but dudes ain’t spitting bars about “Watch me walk that stage, nigga/ Magna Cum Laude,” cus it ain’t cool. Men aren’t talking about sex struggle, because they want to play the pimp role, but if real life were Love Island, no one would step forward to pick them. This is why guys take to twitter and talk about what they won’t do to get pussy as if they get pussy, but they do the MOST while secretly  trying to figure out how other guys are actually getting away with Netflix & Chill. I had one guy email asking, “Are men really getting sex without dates?” He wasn’t a clown; he was a normal guy who is trying to figure out where he was going wrong.

Hot Girl Shit

Ass ate, bills paid, flights booked, rent money, head when she’s bored without reciprocation. These aren’t rap lyrics, ladies today have power and know how to use it… sometimes… I know women who are man-eaters, but only when put around men they see as weak. They go from getting their hearts broken and being exploited to scooping up a Carlton Banks type whose sole purpose is to be Settle Dick that never steps out of line. Why are there women weak for one man but strong around others? Confidence! A woman standing in front of Trey Songz is rarely as confident as when she’s standing in front of Andre the postal worker who’s had a crush on her for two years. When a girl knows a boy is on her clit, she acts as if she has a license to kill.

All these guys are the same regardless of looks, money, or popularity, but she puts one on a pedestal, loses her confidence, and gets fucked over because she’s intimidated. I’ve tried to teach women to be unapologetically confident. Many can’t hit that switch, so they get played, and then rebound with Settle Dick aka Man C aka The Simp aka The Nice Guy aka “the last guy left in her phone at the end of summer”. The Guys who girls know like them are safe and easy to charm, they text back, they’re consistent, but they aren’t who you REALLY WANT, are they beloved? “See NC, I Spartan’d Up,” No, Basica, you didn’t. That man is a weakling. You went down a level to the JV team and flexed. Dominate on the Varsity level, and then I’ll give you props. Just as men use their Bottom Bitch to boost their egos, women use Settle Dick to regain confidence, feel loved, and when she has no more need for him, she’ll get back on the market, most likely to be played by another man she places on a pedestal. Which leads us to…

Settle Dick Season

IMG_1474Cuffing season has been hyped to the point of annoyance. Lists upon lists stuffed with young ass rules and played out tips about what you should be doing to get cuffed. Nevertheless, when you strip away the jokes about Summer Hoes turning into Winter Wifeys, you get something very real, PANIC. No one wants to be alone during the next few months as the weather changes and social activities become less frequent. Her Hot Girl summer started with a trip to the islands and ended with her riding the face of her crush. Your Hot Girl summer started with a few dates but ended with you still fucking that ex from two years ago. You promise yourself that next year is going to be different, by any means necessary.  It won’t be, because you lack the confidence to bend your world to your will. The reality is that most women play it safe all year, waiting to be chose, dating one guy at a time, agreeing to not put a title on things while he figures out what he wants, and all the other basic bitch relationship mistakes, only to realize they should have been going hard off the rip.

Cuffing Season doesn’t make most women aggressive in a Spartan way; it actually makes the majority lower their requirements. Enter The Settle Dick… The guys you really wanted during the summer, they turned out to be shit. The IG guy with the epic beard who started liking your pics and slid into your DMs—gone. The local celebrity your homegirl hooked you up with who talked a good game about wanting someone down to earth to build with—gone. The guy who wasn’t your type but was chasing you, his ugly ass wasn’t even loyal—gone! Then there was the situationship guy you tried to be exclusive but not official with—He Fell all the way back with no warning or excuse. You were going to fuck up the summer with this new attitude and hairstyle, but you did what you always do; date losers and put your eggs in the basket of lames who talked a good game. Now it’s time to snatch up the leftovers.

Bench Player Anthem

IMG_0442Suddenly that guy in the Friend Zone starts looking like Filet Mignon. You shouldn’t shit where you eat, but it is Cuffing Season and you’re too lazy to go hunting so you start sizing up your supposedly platonic male friend. Your “buddy” wasn’t on your radar during the summer months or when you had new dick blowing up your phone. Now that the well’s dried up, you start to look at him differently. He is kinda cute… he knows your ways, doesn’t mind your negatives… and he’s always there whenever you need him. The Friend Zone Guy could be single or he could be in some half-ass relationship with a girl you keep telling him isn’t shit. Regardless of his status, you are confident that you can have him because you know the only reason he’s your friend now, is because he was crushing on you back then. This is a guy who wanted you, but who you shot down and put in that platonic cage. Now you want to unlock that cage and give him a shot because you are alone. Men aren’t born yesterday, but they get infant dumb when pussy’s thrown in their face. The girl you call friend but have always wanted is calling you up to the main roster, not because she saw something in your eyes one night, but because she always saw you as “In Case of Emergency Dick.” Wintertime comes with a thirst to have her booty rubbed and a want to exchange gifts on Christmas Day. You exist to get her though this rough patch.

4e85100589be0Fellas, stop thinking you’re smarter than these girls! Any woman who has the courage to flirt and seduce can get 99% of the men they go after, but they use that power on beta males like you because you don’t scare her, again, you’re the safe option. What’s a pawn to a Queen? Useful at times, but an afterthought in the bigger game. Women use men for attention all the time, B. Yet this time a year as summer rolls into fall it becomes deeper than texting because her phone’s dry. It becomes a lot more dangerous because some girls are actually down to get into a relationship in order to push away loneliness. It’s time to look at the circumstances surrounding her attraction to you, because the reason you may have her attention now, may be the result of you being her last available option.

The Nice Guy

1394832166880Being nice to a woman isn’t the same as being right for a woman. There are countless men who nice their way into the panties and hearts of girls who were cold towards them at first. The reason being, her options when she met you have dried up, causing her to warm up to the idea of any man is better than no man. There is nothing wrong with being nice; this isn’t about holding doors open, it’s about a lack of excitement due to a man being overly accommodating. A lot of men are cool, but few are amazing, and since childhood, girls have been attracted to the sprinkles because vanilla is too boring. Nice guys get their shot under two circumstances; a woman’s been single too long or a woman’s rebounding from a bad boy that played her out. The last guy she fell for could turn her pussy on like a faucet with just a look. He knew how to talk to her aggressively and bring out the submissive side without trying. Women are easily dicknotized by attitude and swagger, and by the time they snap out, they realize they were acting just as basic as the ratchets they criticize. Never again, she promises herself. Animalistic passion made her stress and bomb dick made shorty play herself. At that moment, that frustrated woman realizes that she would rather be bored and stress free with a man she “kinda likes” than chase behind a man who doesn’t see her as special. Enter the Nice Guy.

find-good-manThe Nice Guy is that dude who tries too hard to be perfect, and remains consistent in his effort to win a woman over no matter how many times she curves him. He’s there to compliment you, he wants to come pick you up and take you out, and he wants to take it day by day and not force anything sexually unless you’re ready. These guys prove that “good men” do exist… BUT they’re dry as fuck. You don’t want to hear how beautiful you look for the fourth time. You get a “Miss You,” text and it makes you roll your eyes.

He’s trying to take you to the best restaurant in the city, yet you would rather sit at home and watch Netflix than waste hours talking about nothing with him. Everything this guy does annoys you, and you can’t figure out why. All your friends are telling you how lucky you are to have found someone that values you. God knows that the last guy only sent “Is you still up,” text and thought dating was sitting in a parked car eating fast food while talking about income inequality. The Nice Guy is giving you what you said you wanted from a man, but he doesn’t do it for you, there’s no electricity. He’s too nice, too soft, not authoritative, and his tricking comes too easy for you to even feel like you’re working a Ho Tactic mark. The Nice Guy never gets told, “Boy Bye, you’re corny.” In the back of your mind, you know that you may need him down the line to change a tire or to trick a birthday gift, so you keep him around. He gets his texts ignored, his calls sent to voicemail, and when he does get through, you’re always fake busy. That is until Cuffing Season.

You tried dating for passion and you ended up lowering your self-esteem, so why not give the Nice Guy a shot? Here’s where you fuck up, ladies. If your only attraction to a man is the fact that he’s attracted to you, then it will never work! Women are wired to feel excitement.  “How important is chemistry,” it’s all there is! If a woman doesn’t vibrate near the same level as a man, then it’s only a matter of time before her body starts craving someone more compatible. But you don’t hear me tho… By dating this Nice Guy, you’re trying to rewire yourself to like all the things that make your skin crawl, and if you are desperate enough, brainwashing will work for a period. You can end up falling for the Nice Guy, but it’s not a foundation built to last. Nice Guy will make it through Cuffing Season, you’ll enter a honeymoon stage where you forget that he’s not your type… but he won’t survive once those other men who weren’t checking for you begin to look your way again. You’ll think, “I can do better,” and you’ll feel guilty the first time, but that voice won’t go away. The Nice Guy never had your heart; therefore, it’s only a matter of time before a new man comes around flirting with you, energizing you, and causing you to fantasize about sitting on his face. A new man can’t take you from a boyfriend that never had you. You may have played the role, but you were never his woman, you let him fill a seat until better options arrived. These Nice Guys were always meant to be something to do, never someone to last.

The Desperate Option

BowDownFellas: Are you a man or are you a simp? A man approaches women with confidence, control, and aggression. Meaning you stare into her eyes as if you’ve already deep dicked her soul and you spit truth, not game, that tattoos her brain. Don’t tell her how pretty she is, you tell her where you two are going that weekend. You don’t ask if you can have her number, you take her number as if she doesn’t have a choice. You don’t waste her time with chitchat; you cut the conversation short, pull her in for a hug, and whisper that she better pick up when you call. Dominant women are attracted to dominant men. Most of you can’t control an initial engagement like that because you don’t believe in yourselves. Men talk big behind a keyboard, but falter face to face. You sit there all meek, feeding her cheesy lines that she’s heard before. You list all the things you want to do for her, be to her, and how different she is from the next bitch… five minutes later her coochie has dried to the point where if the sun hit it, you could start a brush fire in her panties.

Bro, you’re a Kia; you’re trying hard to sell these extra features because you don’t believe in your brand. You should be a Mercedes, you don’t list your features, the luxury is evident. You may come away with a number, but again, it’s to service her boredom. She wants a text buddy and you take this as a sign that you’re in, but your ass is staying on the outside like a front porch. Go ahead and take her out, buy her gifts, text her good morning every day, and feel stupid when she pops up on social media talking about how she’s bored with no one to talk to. You don’t make women excited, you make them yawn, and that’s because you don’t know how to be yourself. You call girls hoes, because you don’t know how to crack the pretty pussy code. You can buy pussy, but you can’t buy personality. You can spoil princesses with toys, but it takes a King to satisfy a Queen. You’re doing the most because you know you can’t get a real woman without gimmicks. Don’t worry, there is a silver lining where simps finally inherit the earth, it’s called Cuffing Season.

A woman who had no time for you back in July will suddenly have time for you in October. She’s actually texting back, agreeing to go out, and laughing at your jokes. Lonely women allow men they don’t want to nice their way into pussy. The difference is between you and the savages that hit and quit is that you aren’t in it for the pussy, you actually want to build with her, make her your girlfriend, and do all the romantic things you believe a woman should experience. All men have romantic bones, but the difference between a smart man and a naïve one is that he discriminates. Did you stop to think why that girl who had no time for you is suddenly making time? Did you stop to think why suddenly she’s staying on the phone for hours instead of saying, “Let me call you right back?” I tell women to ask themselves, “What does a man like about me?” Most don’t know because they are too busy soaking up attention and ignoring the ulterior motive. He likes me because I’m cool as hell and different—yeah okay. Don’t be dense! Every man needs to ask the same question, “What does a woman like about me?”

Game-IndiaIt took her weeks to warm up to you, not because she didn’t trust you, not because she had a man, it was because you weren’t what she wanted. You still aren’t what she wants. What you are is the epitome of “Any attention is good attention when you aren’t getting any.” You’re the real life version of the lame that posts “I would marry you and raise your son,” on Draya’s Instagram page. You’re the creep that writes, “I’d pay to have her sit on my face,” under India Westbrook’s picture. You are the embodiment of the attention women usually laugh at, yet because you’re the only attention in town, you get a shot. Understand that she will never take you serious. The solution? Have self-respect!

What’s going to happen is you’re going to fall in love, start planning out a future with this woman, and all it’s going to take is a dude to slide in her DMs talking about “your boyfriend don’t got to know,” and with that one line, her vagina will get wetter for that stranger than it’s ever been for you. All it’s going to take is for some new dude at work to give her that look from across the room, and the next thing you know she’s imagining him when you’re on top of her. She’s not a hoe or a slut, she’s a woman that tried to dumb down her desires, and failed. Don’t blame her for leading you on; blame yourself for being the type of man that tried too hard to fit her foot in that glass slipper. If a girl doesn’t respond to you from the start, fuck her! Real men don’t placate, that’s simp etiquette.

The On Again Ex

let-it-burnWomen love refurbished dick. They will sing you a song about how they’ve moved on, write an essay about how the new her is wiser than the old her… then pop up like, “We’re talking again, but I’m not taking it serious, just seeing how he acts.” These women think old dick is harmless just as an alcoholic thinks one beer won’t lead to relapse. People love to lie to themselves, but the fraudulence of going backwards because you aren’t strong enough to go forwards is the worst. An Ex-boyfriend who she swore off, blocked, and told all her friends that she was so happy to have gotten over, pops up during Cuffing Season and suddenly he’s a viable option again because her lazy ass doesn’t know how to meet new men.

The most common Settle Dick will always be the man she has a history with. Unlike the Nice Guy they have combustible chemistry. When it comes to sex, her sleep number won’t go up. And we all know that basics love to recycle dick as if they’re somehow saving their soul by giving pussy to someone that already hurt them. The irony is that a woman knows why an Ex is sniffing around, yet secretly jumps for joy, because she is starved for some kind of attention. Let’s list the emotions a weak bitch goes through after an Ex shows back up.

First, it’s Disgust: Can you believe he had a nerve to hit me up? He must think I’m stupid. He should have realized what he had before he messed it up. Followed by Curiosity: Do you think he’s serious? Why would he be reaching out now? Should I respond back? Finally, she gives into Defeat: I’m going to go meet up with him just to hear him out. We got a lot of things off our chest, and I realize that I wasn’t perfect either. We’re not together officially; it’s more like a probationary period. Rumble weak bitch Rumble!

graduate bus sceneMen are just as guilty of trying to breathe life into a dead relationship as women are, and it’s not just about wanting sex, you’re both lonely and stuck. You may not belong to each other but you carry this torch as if your souls are connected. We May Not Be Together But We’ll Always Be Linked. Save the fake deep quotes for Tumblr. You two aren’t soulmates; you’re just two lonely people who don’t know how to move on, so you re-imagine your failed relationship as some Cosmic Soap Opera. Young & the Textless, All in My Feelings, ass relationship. There isn’t anything destined about second chances, you end up back where you started by choice. Verbally you shut the door, but mentally you never took that option off the table when you broke up, so it isn’t a surprise that you ended up where you knew you could. There’s a classic film called The Graduate. The couple break up and the man goes through all of this drama to win his girl back before she gets married. The film ends with them finally reunited and sitting on a bus together with a joint look of, “what the fuck was the point?” You don’t really want each other, you want to recreate a magic that was never meant to be permanent, and most likely wasn’t even that fucking special in the way your revisionist mind made it out to be. Cuffing Season ends like The Graduate, all this drama, only to realize that you were chasing a feeling of companionship that would never live up to expectations.

Never Be A Settle Option!

Winners-WinI want every man to reflect on his current role in a woman’s life. Are you Man A, the trophy who she obsesses over, annoys, moves too fast with, and is always responsive to? Or Man C, the guy she settles for, who she has to let grow on her, and whose appeal is that you actually commit and give attention, when other guys give her the run around? You think you’re Man A or maybe you don’t mind being Man C because you are reaping the rewards. The point is that you need to figure out a woman’s agenda. The average man isn’t as emotionally hard as he acts, and the backlash of misplaced love will crumble his ass in ways he never imagined. Again, let’s go back to the fact that we as males don’t talk about feelings in a real way. We layer on armor and act as if we don’t care about women. We create labels that make them into objects, because we know that those that get close have too much power over our minds. Hoes win for a reason. Girls who don’t want you get chased for a reason. Unique women that snatch souls smell the best and taste the sweetest, because they project sex and power. You want that so bad, but that doesn’t mean you sell your soul for it.

There is nothing more harmful to a man than a woman who doesn’t want him. As a man, you need to understand your emotions and stop living life in a shell. You pretend to be her top choice, you pretend to be confident, but you’re scared to death that she’s going to reject you. Your money isn’t long enough. Your face isn’t cute enough. Your dick doesn’t make her cum. Your personality is so boring that she can’t even put her phone down to look you in your eye. False thoughts will eat at you until you actually start to believe that negativity! Be stronger than that.

Men don’t actually hate women, they hate not being good enough for the women they want the most. You are as good as you believe you are, so get your head back in the game. Stop running from your feelings and letting the right women walk while allowing the wrong women to get you open and ruin you! The same way women go insane trying to fix a man, men break down under pressure of not being able to make a woman content. It’s okay to feel lost, that doesn’t make you less of a man, but pretending like you’re cool does. Players usually start as nice guys; it was fear that drove them to see women as nothing but pussy because their heart couldn’t take being hurt again. Yes, women manipulate, and do it well, but it’s not about their offense, it’s about your lack of defense. Women will continue to settle for less, so long as less is an option. Stop coming at their necks and point the finger inward. Why are you a grown ass man allowing yourself to be used? Focus on yourself and stop thirsting to be a last resort for a damaged chick. This is the season where women who weren’t checking for you make time for you all of a sudden. You don’t need a woman on your team who couldn’t spot the greatness in you while other men were in her face. Always be first never be next.

for more on this topic– CLICK HERE to listen to the audio book

Thanks for reading Is He Boyfriend Material or Settle Dick?

Over Committing: Why You Should Never Put All Your Eggs In One Basket

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Far From BasYc

Woman A: Dates one man at a time. Is loyal to the “talking” stage. Emotionally invests in that one man even without a relationship title.

Woman B: Dates multiple men. Understands that there is nothing wrong with getting to know people in order to see who is the best fit. Doesn’t over-invest in any man until he proves himself.

Are you Woman A or Woman B? Most of you pretend to be Woman B, but the reality is you date one man at a time because you’re desperate to hit a home run, get wifed, and leave this crazy world of dating alone. You meet a dude, he’s nice, handsome, good career path, and he talks just the right amount of cocky shit to make you spring a leak by the end of date one. In your mind, “that’s my boyfriend, he just doesn’t know it yet.” All the other guys you swiped on those apps— cut. All the weird thirst buckets in your DMs who you entertain out of boredom— cut. That ex who you’re thinking about giving another chance—cut! You met the man who you want to be yours and you’re using a combination of prayer, law of attraction, and good old fashion “wishing” to mentally affirm that he will be yours.  This new guy is the exception to all your rules about moving too fast and you know in your soul that he’s the one. When potential meets lust, smart women make dumb choices. You bought into “what could be” and that’s why you cut everyone off and put your eggs in his basket before you’ve fully vetted him.

4-6 months later… he wasn’t the one. He wasted your time. Now here you are bitter, angry, and lonely because you allowed yourself to be that basic ass woman that dated one at a time. A Spartan would have had another guy or two on the roster. A Spartan would have read enough of my work to know that the honeymoon stage is always a false high. A Spartan would have never put her eggs in one fucking basket because a Spartan lives by the rule that she’s single and free to do what the fuck she wants until someone earns her loyalty! You’re not a Spartan, you are still a little girl in a grown ass woman’s body that gets her hopes up because you’re afraid to risk the dick.

Women are the prize. “Not these days with the way guys act–” zip that shit up Basica, no one wants to hear your hot ass breath spewing excuses.  I don’t care if you don’t go many places to meet guys or if you only get a few quality options that want to date you, the only thing you need to hit reset on your sad ass weak ass Basica ass life is to be proactive and stop waiting for these men to pick you up and put you down! Over committing is something 9 out of 10 of you do out of pure laziness. Yes, men are guilty of doing it as well, but the average male always has a backup plan, women rarely do. Let’s go deep into the mindset of how this game is played so you can either break free of this way of life or avoid it all together…

How Men Play The Game

If a man is not engaged, married, or in a long time serious relationship, his eggs are in other baskets, meaning that he is actively in the process of dating other women, fucking other women, or open to talking to other women while he’s dealing with you. Why do men do this? Because even the dumb ones are smart enough to cover their bases. If you start acting funny, get in your feelings, turn out to be a false alarm, or if he finds someone he likes more, a man can freely move on to the next bitch basket, without heartbreak or depression. For example, when you break up with your “exclusive, but not official” friend of six months; you cry and stress to the point of being physically sick because you were 100% invested in that man who suckered you into a half-ass relationship. That same man you’re broken up about will be a sad, but he will be fine in a week or two. It’s not because that man is cold hearted, it’s because he didn’t invest 100% in your stock. He was 40% into you, 20% into his ex who he was still fucking, 15% into the new crush he’s been trying to pull off Instagram, and he kept the last 25% reserved in case he meets a new chick off Tinder. Relationships end every day, and men can’t afford to be left emotionally bankrupt over a girl he was only half-sure about in the first place.

It’s romantic suicide to invest in a person that you’re not blown away with or sure about, and that goes for men and women. However, women are generally more willing to take that risk and put all their eggs in one basket much more frequently than men because their desire for romance and love blinds them from the warning signs that the dude she’s crushing on has serious issues and isn’t worth going all in with.  The reality of your romantic life is that you HATE dating, you meet a guy who seems better than most, you stop looking and focus on getting to know him exclusively. Earth to Basica! Learn to fucking multitask and stop being so lazy! You can not give guys you just “talk to” husband benefits just because you want to play house! Cock your head, roll your eyes, and tell the world how special you are, but if your relationship status remains, “it’s complicated” that means the person you’re dealing with thinks he can do better.

21st century men invented exclusive, but not committed relationships aka Situationships because unlike dudes in the 70’s, they realized that you don’t have to say, “be my girlfriend” or “You know I love you” in order to get a girl to give up pussy, mouth, or money. A man who isn’t sold on you will hold back emotionally, because he is looking for something better. This deliberate withholding of his feelings allows men to get over you easier or scout for new pussy to replace you with, without feeling guilty. Emotionally detaching yourself during the dating stage is mandatory because it’s all an audition where you have to test consistency and worthiness. How can you do that if you’re blinded by potential? You would have to be a fool to lower your guard and date with your heart on your sleeve knowing how lame 75% of the dating population is after you expose their true agenda.

You think you know everything, but you don’t…

-How do you know he really likes you?

-If he likes you as much as he says why aren’t you official?

-Are you sure you’re the only one he talks to?

-Can you give some real examples to justify why he’s the only guy you’re currently talking to? …I’ll wait.

Those questions are triggering because you know what you have is built on a bunch of nothing. You diagnosed a crush as a soul tie and now you’re trying to overcompensate by giving him all kinds of benefits hoping he picks you for real. Why would he at this point? Because you’re pretty? Because you’re smart? Because you have a good job? Because you’re funny? Because you have a big heart? None of those things make you rare!

Most women overvalue their role in a man’s life based on what they assume they bring to the table and the simple shit men do when showing affection. He texts you throughout the day. He tells you how different you are. He does what he has to do to stroke your ego and lower your guard, and you eat it up. What is he doing to solidify this top spot in your life? Are you two really together? Did you two define what you are? Has he spent any real money or taken you anywhere that a teenager with a summer job couldn’t take a bitch? Bare minimum feels like royal treatment when you have a history of being undervalued! You’re open off of basic shit because you desperately want the fairy tale. That’s why you brainwash yourself into believing you matter to this man despite him treating you average and never defining his role in your life. Call yourself his “Friend,” “Bae,” or whatever else makes you feel less guilty about giving up pussy to a man that won’t commit, but at the end of the day, you are not his girlfriend, you’re just a girl he sees.  Every male over 21 knows that if you give a typical girl attention and affection, she will assume love and a relationship are on the way. By the time she figures out she’s been played, it’s too late and he’s off to the next chick. You can’t be mad at that because he was always single, you were the one assuming that you were in a relationship.

Why Men See You As Easy Prey

How many of the ladies reading this see themselves as a “he could do better, but hopefully he’ll settle for me,” type of woman? Hopefully none, but in reality some man will see you as good enough to fuck, cuddle with, and date, but not good enough to go all in and commit. “What are we?” has never been asked by a Boss Bitch. Ultimatums aren’t used by Alpha Females. By the time you get to date three if a man isn’t on your clit, then that isn’t the man for you. I talk a lot about ego, but the positive side of it is that it dictates that you don’t wait around for someone to treat you like you deserve. A man who has had multiple conversations with you should not be too cool to act like you’re the shit. Yet, there you are, unsure if a guy likes you because you failed the first stage of Spartanhood 101: Knowing yourself well enough to seal your insecurities.

Girls stress over not being good enough for men more than the internet would like to admit. Women beat their face, fry their hair, starve themselves, dumb down their personality, and give up sex way too fast because male approval is everything. So many ladies think these dudes want Ms. Perfect. Wrong, they want Ms. Worth it. It’s not about the model looks, it’s not about the phat ass, it’s not even about holding him down financially or emotionally. Men are looking for that clear sign that you are different form the other women he’s been with throughout the years that annoyed him, hurt him, or bored him.

A man saying, “You’re different” doesn’t count, the proof is in his actions, and 10 out of 10 times being impressively different gets a commitment in less than a month. So where’s your commitment? Why is he still telling you how busy he is? Why isn’t he doing romantic shit weekly? You’re not different, beloved, you’re plain as fuck. Many girls don’t want to hear that they aren’t that different form the next chick, they want to blame men for being confused about what they want or too immature to spot a real woman. Yes, some men are blind to good women, but if you are meeting multiple men who don’t see you as more than Pussy, then you have to reexamine how truly different you are. Your ego is telling you that you’re an A-, but the guy you like sees you as a C+, and that’s why you’re a grown woman still stuck in a placeholder relationship. So why would a man waste his time dealing with Ms. Average? Why would a man tell Ms. Average how much he loves her? Why would he eat Ms. Average’s ass? Why would he blow up Ms. Average’s phone when she tries to cut him off? Because even at average, you’re something to do.

What makes you special? What makes you different? You say you’re the shit, but give me some receipts? You talk about the same shit, take the same pictures with the same angles and the same filters, you have the same shallow opinions, and you even fuck like the last two girls he hit. These guys treat you like you’re whatever because you see yourself as whatever. You need to start believing in yourself, but you can’t do that if you secretly hate how you act or see yourself as typical. Spartanhood is about ripping down the old you in order to get to know the True you. This isn’t to land a date, it’s to land true confidence so you will always be the most interesting woman in the room.

You Don’t Chase Men, But You Wait For Men

Men, even the ugly and broke ones, rarely put their eggs in one basket because love parched girls have made it easy to test drive without ever buying. One of the phrases I hear weekly is, “I don’t chase men.” Oh. My. God! You don’t chase!?! Girl, you’re so rare and special!?! Here’s a cookie, now go share it with your other friends who are just as single as you are. That chase stuff doesn’t mean shit, because most of you do something much worse—you wait. Waiting for a man to decide what he wants from you is more of a crime than chasing after a man. Men do not mind chasing women because we are hunters by nature. There is no ego when it comes to going after what we want because given the choice of chasing a dime or settling for a six, men will risk the possible rejection.

Women aren’t raised that way; to chase a man is to be thirsty in the female rule book. Approaching a man or shooting your shot makes you look easy or reeks of “masculine energy” or whatever you Basicas call it. Going after the men you want is out of the question, therefore the common way a woman lives life is to wait for men to pursue her then wait for a man to lock her down. Fuck that rule book, because the most weak bitch thing you could ever do is let a man use you up for months while waiting on him to decide if you are good enough to truly be with. The men that approach you are most likely clowns. The one clown that wins you over, is most likely not going to commit. And there you are, just as much of a clown because you allowed these fuckboi’s to lead you around the block.

If a man that’s sampled your pussy countless times, has had 100s of hours of conversations with you, and has made you comfortable enough where you can shit in his bathroom and not be embarrassed, STILL doesn’t know if he wants to be with you—then that is him telling you that you’re a C+! Stop waiting for men to spell it out for you because, niggas can’t spell!

You’re not stupid, you know what “I’m not ready for something serious,” “I’m too busy with my career,” or “I’m still getting over my ex,” really means… You ain’t my top draft pick, so I’m going to keep trading up until I land what I really want… maybe if I never get who I want I may circle back and settle for you, but even then I’m still going to be on the lookout for a better partner.

So many women ask, “How can I get him to see me as a game changer.” You can’t while you’re still thinking like a Basica. Why are you chasing him, when he should be chasing you? Why are you waiting for his decision of if you are wifey material, when he should be trying to prove his hubby worth?  The most powerful weapon you can use in dating is, “what you won’t do, the next man will.” Spartans don’t get chosen, they choose.

Stop Asking Questions You Know The Answer To

So where is this going? So what are we building towards? So what do you see as far as our future?

You know what the answer will be, “Let’s keep doing what we’re doing.” Translation: Leave me alone you placeholder, and enjoy this ride before I bump into the girl I really want.

Why are you playing mind games with yourself? You know that man isn’t going to change his answer. His first answer, second answer, and last answer told you repeatedly, “I’m not ready for something serious (with you).” Get the hint! Love is explosive, it’s passionate, it’s absolute, and never does it include wearing a person down until they see you as special.

The longer you wait for a man to tell you you’re good enough to be his girl, the more comfortable you get playing that role. You’re not an official couple, but his actions will blind you into thinking that a commitment is coming. Commitment is not coming, you are in a dress rehearsal playing the role of wifey, and you’re so caught up in your character that you forget the most important thing, the role has never been yours, and this man is still auditioning other women. I don’t care how in love you are with him or the potential of what could be, the truth will set you free, and the truth is you’re giving your all to a man that’s still focused on casting someone better than you.

Stop Being Understanding

a9f3fd708fac11e3a8d212b56696dd6d_8Men are masters of making you understand their struggle. He’s going through a tough time at work, at school, with his family, or has to focus on his Fantasy Football league, so he can’t give you what you want. You understand… you accept it and you make it a positive by saying “at least he’s honest.” Dafuq? Dude just told you that you’re sub-par and not worth the effort of rearranging his life to see you, and that makes you love him more? A man is never too busy for what he wants, yet here you are allowing him to convince you that his life is so hectic that he only has time to come by at night and put his dick in. Are you dense? You come first! You compromise—with your boyfriend or husband, you don’t compromise with some nigga who has time to sext but never time to take you out on real dates. Stop being gullible! Your situation isn’t different. His story isn’t the exception. You’re being gamed just like the countless others!

Stop Being A Band-Aid

You can always tell when a man has New Pussy on his radar, communication become less frequent, his temper becomes short, and the arguments are random and petty. From my side of the fence, I see that your “Him” is trying to get a new “her,” but your naïve ass just sees it as a test. You’ve been brainwashed to believe that you fix things no matter what. Now you’re trying to guess what’s wrong and adjust your actions to make him happy because you think that’s what “good girls” do– roll over. Over-stand the male hustle, beloved. You’re not having a rough patch, he’s trying to sabotage your relationship and force you out in a way where he doesn’t have to be the bad guy. This form of Gaslighting is one of the most effective tactics because it allows him to keep the door cracked in case that new girl doesn’t work.

Why should it be up to a woman to fix a relationship with a man that won’t even claim her as his official girlfriend? That’s like paying to put new brakes on a rental car. You’re maintaining a man that’s not yours and has no intention of being yours because you are desperate for love and affection. You fix marriages, not Situationships! What happened during your life to make you this fucking weak when it comes to dick? You don’t even respect yourself so how can you ever get respect from a man?

Stop Feeling Guilty

How can a man tell his friend how important she is, and then go pull another chick in the mall a few hours later and not feel guilty. Because he’s single. A lot of you don’t know what single means. Look at your ring finger—if you don’t have a band, then you are single. It’s normal for a man to date multiple women. It’s rare for a woman to date multiple men. It has nothing to do with right or wrong, it’s guilt that keeps the sexes unequal. Guilty Woman logic dictates that if you are talking to a cute guy on the phone and going on dates for two weeks, you can’t go get the number of another cute guy and date him too. Even though you aren’t in a serious relationship, that behavior makes you a disloyal hoe who will be forced to raise her hand every time that Chris Brown song comes on. To avoid this you settle for one guy at a time, 100% investment, hoping that he turns out to be boyfriend material. Count up the months you’ve wasted dating ONE man that turned out to be a piece of shit, when you could have been spreading the wealth, and tell me how smart you feel.  A man can tell his homies that he went out with four girls this past weekend and get props. On the other side of the gender fence, a girl can go out with four boys, not fuck any, and her friends will turn their noses up. The moment she opens her mouth to say that she’s popular enough to get four different men to court her, she becomes fast, a hoe, or nasty.

Rival women talk shit about women who date multiple men because they don’t understand how to use pussy power without actually giving out pussy. They assume sex has to be exchanged to get something from a man, including love. They haven’t evolved so they judge and ridicule out of jealousy and ignorance. I would bet that most women reading this, even those who have read this site regularly, have read Ho Tactics, and know their power, are still afraid to use it. Guilt, holds you back because the moment you think about flirting with a stranger, taking his number, and getting him to take you out an hour after the last dude dropped you off, you feel bad. Where does this guilt come from? Men don’t feel guilty, because they are savvy enough not to go all in when they aren’t sure of a woman. After a man is happily married, he won’t sit back and feel bad about talking to Tanya at the same time as Tina. The ends justified the means! Women should operate on this same level. That guilt is your old programming trying to keep you basic. You feel wrong because people have told you to feel wrong, but wait ten years and then add up all of the time you wasted dealing with one guy at a time because it felt “right” and you’ll experience true guilt, the guilt of not living life to the fullest.

Start Getting More Baskets

take-yo-bitchStop looking at each new man as “the one” and start looking at them as baskets. You find one basket, place an egg, find another basket, place an egg, and then you let them earn more. No matter how much you like one man more than the other, you only reward based off his actions! Competition for your heart is the best way to keep a your feelings honest, and your emotions in check. But GL, men don’t like it when girls talk to more than one guy at a time. So what! The only time Man comes before Woman is in the dictionary, so fuck what men think and do you! Every man you date should know that you are wanted by other men, and if he doesn’t date properly, show real attention, and treat you with respect, he loses his spot!

How a person has treated you in the past is not a reflection of your current worth! Raise your bar, go for what you want, be demanding, and don’t want anyone so bad that you won’t mind cutting them off if they step out of line. Date with that kind of mentality for the rest of your life and see how fast these men will try to commit to you within the first month. This guilt about men finding out you are talking to other guys or girls gossiping about how loose your morals are; those are weak bitch brain waves that hold you back. You kill weak bitch brain waves by thinking like a Spartan and not giving a fuck about anyone whose name isn’t on your driver’s license. No more excuses, no more finger pointing, get out there and Spartan Up! Audition multiple men instead of just handing out the role of boyfriend to the first guy that shows you attention!

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Thanks for reading Over Committing: Why You Should Never Put All Your Eggs In One Basket


Quarter-Life Crisis – Dating Advice For Your 20s (and 30s)

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Far From BasYc

My 24-Year-Old Friend: Was popular in high school and had her pick of men. Now she can’t get past the first date with the kind of man she wants. Settles for dates with simps out of boredom. Recycles the dick of her ex from high school who has a whole girlfriend. Says she’s not looking for a real relationship yet always complains about men her age not wanting anything real.

My 33-Year-Old Friend: Was in a long-term relationship throughout her twenties that ended with him walking away and marrying someone else. She has a kid by the rebound man who sold her a bag of lies and then ghosted her during the pregnancy. Currently dates a guy who says he’s separated from his wife but isn’t. Thinks her life is over because she’s over 30+ with a kid, and what decent man wants that…

Why does age lower expectations? Each woman reading this had a dream job, a dream house, a dream husband, and a dream life in mind when they were in middle school… now 10-20 years later so many are stuck working jobs they don’t want to do, dealing with inconsistent ass men, and settling for a life where they have zero power. Where did it all go wrong and how do you instill the confidence to get back on track?

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Let’s talk about two huge chapters in your love life—The 20s when you feel like you can conquer the world only to end up getting your heartbroken, going back and forth with some time-waster, or simply sitting alone in the house because you don’t have hoes like you had in your late teens. The second chapter is The 30s when you’re rebounding from all the ways you fucked up in your 20s. Most likely you’re established in your career, have a solid group of friends, but you’re still sad because you’re inching towards 40, and you can’t find anyone who wants to give you the love you deserve. When you’re 30+, the idea of “what if” hits different, because you can literally point to someone or something that took you off course. The irony is that the women in their 20s don’t realize the power they have currently, and the women in their 30s are often too filled with regret to understand how they can easily reset their fortunes. Today we’re going to touch on both groups…

The Quarter-Life Crisis

When you’re young, your cockiness is often off the charts. Your teachers tell you that you’re smart, your family members remind you that you’re special, the job offers or internships come rolling in, and your confidence skyrockets to the point where you believe that you could shit gold with enough effort. From age 20-29 you have will have hot streaks where you manifest success without trying, and then, without warning, you go cold as if the universe is playing a cruel joke on you. You try your hardest, yet nothing works out. You try to play by the rules you were taught, only to see people who don’t play far profit without penalty. It’s like everything you thought you knew about reaching your goals turns out to be a lie, and that leaves you in a state of frustration and depression you can’t shake.

  • The degree you spent all that money getting isn’t paying off
  • The friends you thought you had for life have grown apart from you
  • The stability of school has given way to the chaos of day to day working
  • The optimistic person you used to be has given way to someone who is rarely happy

You’re trying to please the people around you, fulfill your potential, and live a positive life, but it’s hard to invoke change when everything you do feels like a losing effort. The job you took doesn’t pay as much as promised, and the people there make you miserable. You were never educated on how to handle debt, and that credit card and/or student loan interests keeps piling up. Those family members who used to be your cheerleaders are now praising others or throwing shade your way. The peers who you were doing better than are now surpassing you. Life went wrong, you aren’t where you want to be, and there isn’t anyone you want to talk to about it because you feel embarrassed. A Quarter-Life Crisis can strike at any time in your 20s because it’s not so much about age; it’s about results. What do you have versus what do other people around you have… You aren’t ignorant, you know everyone has their own path, but that doesn’t help quell the anxiety of “why am I still stuck here.” You don’t know how to feel… You don’t think you’re meant to be with anyone… You find yourself not even caring about what happens. This isn’t the real you, but it’s become your most consistent avatar. Faking it or wrapping yourself in a defensive shell of excuses becomes the sole coping mechanism. No one knows the doubt you have or the lack of direction you feel, it just becomes a silent weight that drags you down day in and day out.

Ever go through that Instagram Explore page and get angry? The internet changed the way people view themselves. The measuring stick was once your neighborhood or circle of friends, but now because of social media, you’re judged globally. Some 23-year-old who you never met started a business, bought a luxury car, is going on vacation several times a year, and is on IG boo’d up with a guy that looks every bit your type. Meanwhile you’re at work counting down the time for you to clock out so you can go home and watch your favorite show or play on the internet. How much money is in your bank account? Where’s your man? How much money do you owe? How many people can you depend on to help you out in a bind? Where were you supposed to be by your current age and why aren’t you there? No one wants to be reminded of that shit.

Drinking, smoking, online shopping, and television are there to help you escape. Jokes about overdraft fees, affirmations about how next year is going to be better, or gossip about how someone who pretends to be balling is secretly in the struggle makes your crisis seem okay. Then you see a picture of someone doing it big or an old friend or classmate achieving something great, and it makes you relapse all over again with negative thoughts—If they’re getting that, why haven’t I?  How hard do I have to pray to level up? What book should I read to manifest something substantial? What research can I do to figure out how they won at life so fast?

You unfairly judge yourself based on someone else’s life story. You’re looking to emulate instead of carving out your own path to greatness. Inspiration and motivation strike for a day or two, then you’re gripped by the fear that this amazing future you had mapped out when you were 18, and idealistic will never happen. Adulting is hard as shit because that little voice in your head grows and grows more negative each day…

Pop Quiz #1. What’s the one thing you can easily attain that will distract yourself from the negative parts of your life? Attention. When you’re going through a crisis in every other aspect of your adulting life, the one thing that can bring peace is finding someone who will shower you with attention and make you feel special. Love in your 20s is complex because so many people are looking for validation through others. Why does that man who lives at home and doesn’t have a pot to piss in, spend his free time chasing pussy? Because conquering those women makes him feel like a winner! Why does a woman who works a dead-end job obsess over designer clothes and taking pictures in exotic locations? Because looking good and getting props makes her feel like a winner! So many of you are stressed because you feel like you aren’t keeping up with the next person, but the truth is most people your age are faking it for attention because that shallow feeling makes everything feel better… at least for a few days.

Pop Quiz #2. What’s the one thing that can attain that can salvage a mediocre life? A Relationship. The quest for love has become the quest for happiness. Attention fades, but locking someone down in a relationship guarantees that you will have a current distraction from your so-so life. People enter relationships despite red flags, have children with people they knew had issues, and repeat that same pattern because a relationship gives them something to live for when everything else is trash. Life isn’t working out as planned, but so long as you have someone in your face making you forget the bigger picture, you feel safe. You don’t want to deal with work drama, money problems, nor a lack of direction, but you do want to deal with dating because it’s instant gratification.

Think about the world we live in, tons of poor people are happy because they have someone to share in that struggle. Tons of women and men are being exploited by users, but they’re happy because at least they have someone to come home to. Partnering up used to be about uplifting each other, not sharing in misery, but that’s what it’s become. Think about your ideal relationship, it isn’t taking care of a man who can’t get right nor is it living paycheck to paycheck because neither of you make enough. No one wants a struggle life, so why do we see so many people content with “at least I got a man” Focusing on self is hard, so people settle for finding a partner, because companionship settles those anxious nerves that keep telling you that your life is going nowhere.

Life sucks, but you have someone to take care of. Life sucks, but you have someone who relies on you. Life sucks, but you have the excitement of an up and down relationship. Life sucks, but at least you have someone that gives you purpose and makes it worth getting up in the morning… of course the problem with this mentality is that you aren’t fixing YOU, you’re hiding behind another person who can leave your ass and then you’re back at square one all over again forced to look at the reality of your life choices. Your purpose in life isn’t tied to anyone else. “We’re in this together, babe” is basic bitch propaganda. No one is going to save you, and you can’t save them. It’s time to stop making lazy choices and shake yourself out of this cycle of mediocrity!

A Quarter-Life Crisis is normal, it doesn’t mean you’re crazy, a failure, or weak. It means you’re evolving! You want better, you need better, than do better by focusing on the shoes you’re walking in without worrying about what size everyone else has on their feet. Things haven’t gone as planned, but what movie starts off at the happy ending? Stop doubting yourself and understand that it’s never too late to turn things around. You can literally attract a cloud of change into your life overnight or you can keep feeling sorry for yourself, the choice is yours. We’ll get into the spiritual aspect of this later but let’s start with practical dating advice. What binds most of the women in their 20s that write me for help is their inability to read the men in their dating pools. So, let’s start there…

The Dating Pools of your 20s

You’re young, pretty, and despite what else is going wrong in your life, you know there will be men who try and date you. Because of Disney you maintain this idea of some prince popping up and changing your fortune. Okay, princess, who do you date in order to get this fairy tale? All the internet standards about money, career, and affluence are bullshit. There are women I know that read Ho Tactics, then there are women I know who USE Ho Tactics. Most of you aren’t leveling up with tricks or Sponsors because it’s not in your character. You want the fantasy not the bag. Think about your life: If you’re a woman in her early to mid 20s dating a man 24-28, then it’s a 70% chance he doesn’t have real money. The secret that you’re hiding is that it doesn’t matter. You aren’t as shallow as you pretend, you date men based on personality and looks. The traits you fall in love with point to the type of guys you dated in high school, so here you are years after high school still dealing with that quality of man. While you may be mature emotionally, you are still turned on by the basic shit that got you wet in 11th grade. Men know this and so do you, so again, who do you date?

Men Who Are Still Teenagers At Heart: These are the guys who have yet to grow out of that “every woman is a hole to be fucked” stage aka The Ho Phase. They’re not mean or spiteful, they’re fun and goofy. They make you feel like high school or freshmen year all over again. Everything is a party until they get bored. They’re emotionally immature, so they ghost you without a real reason, try to place blame on you, or do something to sabotage it like trying to fuck your friend or being sloppy with other women.

Men Who Have Been Victimized: Guys who have their heart broken early take years to bounce back, but they position themselves as ready for something serious. The reality is the moment you get to close, you remind him of “her,” so he begins to pull back emotionally. Even when you try to apologize or take into account that he’s been hurt; it isn’t good enough. He wants to waste your time and make you believe that you have a shot of fixing him—but you can’t fix a grown-ass man; only he can do that.

Men Who Can’t Do Shit For You: Nice guys, sweet guys, those fellas who take you to the movies and dinner and win you over by being caring… only for you to realize that he’s not the kind of ambitious man you need. They work low paying jobs, they don’t have any solid plans for their future, and while they will do for you, that voice in your head knows that they’re high-key mediocre.

Men Who Think You’re Dumb: You will meet men who don’t respect you and try to play you like you’re dumb. Unlike the teenage mindset guys, this isn’t about sex or being goofy, it’s about putting you in your place. These misogynist pretend they don’t know how to date and offer you dick and take out. They put on acts like you’re crazy in order to gaslight you. They push you away, pull you back, then do it all over again when you step out of line. This is the type most of you will get damaged by because you think he can be “fixed”. He can’t. He doesn’t want you, he wants control.

Men Who Overachieved: Bernie would call these guys the 1%, not that they’re necessarily rich, but they have achieved either wealth, fame, notoriety, or property at a young age. They floss money, show off material items, and remind anyone who listens what they have. You may think that kind of cockiness is a turnoff, but when push comes to shove, he does represent something a 20 something with anxiety wants—success, clout, and stability. If you’re an independent-minded woman you want to match his hustle and prove yourself to him. If you’re about securing a bag, you just want to share in his wealth. This makes him a magnet for all kinds of women. The problem is, a man like this will always have groupies, so the chances of him wanting you for more than a fling is doubtful.

Men Who You Can Grow With: An emotionally mature man who can sit and talk to you about where he’s coming from and where he’s going isn’t rare. A man who may not have much money to treat you to 5-star restaurants, but is driven to get to that level, isn’t rare. A man who you butt heads with but wants to work out the issue instead of falling back isn’t a fucking unicorn! The thing is that these men don’t come with labels. They need to be vetted and tested. How do you do that? Keep reading…

The Wrong Mindset of Your 20s

“I love him… I hate him… I miss him… Fuck that asshole… He’s never going to find a woman that does for him like me… I can’t believe he moved on with that ugly bitch… I’m never dating again… Hey, I just met someone new let me give love another try…” -The mind of a Typical 20 something-year-old

Most women in their 20s don’t vet or test a man’s intentions because they think they know everything. Yes, you right there reading this, you think you know all the game. You know how to do deep google searches, scan through social media accounts, and you have a “gut instinct” when something is off. In your mind, men are dumb, and you are smart. Then you come up against someone you REALLY like. I always throw that in because most of you are only smart when it’s a dick you don’t want. Those men you’re in to make you devolve, and all that “I know I know I know” bullshit goes out the window. Now you’re confused as to what he wants from you. You’re not sure if he really does talk to other women or if you’re paranoid. You try to read between the lines of everything he does to make it all make sense. In the end, even when he does show you red flags, you stick around. You love his dick, you love his swagger, you even love the way he kinda disrespects you and puts you in your place. Eventually you wise up and get rid of him, or he gets bored and gets rid of you. He comes back, and you do that entire dance again… OR someone just like him comes into your life, and you go Groundhog Day, repeating the same mistakes. Why? What is it about these men that even someone as smart as you can’t learn her lesson? Again, it’s the mindset of being in your 20s, you love hard, you think you have all the time in the world to grow with someone, and you trust in words more than actions.

More than half of you are in situationships, others are recycling exes, and some of you have random hookups when you’re lonely. To each their own, but is that what you want or is it the only thing you think you can get? The defensive armor that you’re suited up in screams “Fuck dating” but the people you stalk on your phone prove that you do want male love more than you let on. We’re about to dive into how to get what you want, but you have to own up to your insecurities. You don’t understand the dating pools, you just date. You don’t understand how men can lie so easily or love you one month then love another bitch the next week. You have an ego that swears you’re too smart to be fooled, yet year after year you get that ass humbled. That’s your 20s, or at least how it’s going to keep going unless you Spartan Up. It’s time to get rid of the panic attacks, avoid the mental breakdowns, and regain control…

The Right Mindset of Your 20s

Ready to continue to the next section? I wrote a new eBook on how to deal with Adulting and Dating in your 20s and 30s, if you’re ready to continue on this subject = CLICK HERE and download it and finish reading…

These Full chapters are also included in the new Audio Edition of The Unicorn Delusion along with four new chapters. Click Here to download and listen to the Audible Version. For iTunes Click Here.

How To Level Up When You’re 30+

“I wish I found your site or read your books in my 20s, I would have avoided so many mistakes.”

Brace yourself. Unlike the previous chapter on dating in your 20s, what you’re about to experience is less forgiving, less understanding, and absolutely void of compassion for the weak and delusional. Your 20s were supposed to be a learning experience, yet here you are 30+, still making rookie mistakes. You are too grown to pitied and too smart not to be dragged until you Spartan Up! This is going to be quick and painful as I run down the top dating mistakes I see women in their 30s make and a showcase on how to murder, burn the body, and bury the ashes of the weak-ass woman that is currently reading these words. With age should come wisdom. The woman you were ten years ago wasn’t as smart, as intuitive, and as resourceful as the woman you are now. Everything I wrote about in terms of being young and dumb, you could nod along with because you figured it all out the hard way. You wish you could go back in time and tell your younger self those things because you see how hard it now is to get your career, finances, or love life back on track after blowing the past 6-10 years being hardheaded. The irony is that you’re looking back with wisdom that you still don’t apply to your everyday life.

Instead of using your life like a map, you use it as a tissue to cry into. You regret your choices in friends, your choices in jobs, or your choices in men on the daily. Happiness could have been yours if not for—”insert excuse here.” Are you done feeling sorry for yourself? Are you done playing “what if”? Are you done being bitter about the unchangeable? Good. Now I want you to drop your ego, let go of that negativity, and accept the fact that you are STILL going to win. A woman doesn’t even reach her prime under her late 30s into early 40s. You aren’t damaged goods, you’re a fucking Phoenix ready to rise from the ashes. Close your eyes. Leave your basic thoughts, your defensive attitude, and your self-loathing outside, and let’s renovate the house you call your mind… (Click Below to Continue Reading or Listening To This Chapter)

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Dating While Damaged

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Far From BasYc

Who hurt you and why can’t you let it go? Your childhood wasn’t ideal, how much pity do you need to move forward from that? Your first time loving someone ended with betrayal, how much anger and regret needs to build up before you get over it? No one appreciates what you do for them, how many times do you need to keep pointing that out before you stop being unselfish? 9 out of 10 people are never going to change they’re just going to complain. Hurt feels like armor at first, it keeps you safe, but it’s actually a cage that stunts you emotionally and poisons every choice you make. You love being petty, you love bringing up the past, you love having an attitude, you get off on reminding people about all you do for them, and you really love shifting blame onto someone else.

Your safe place is reminding people that nothing is your fault because being a victim feels better than the admission that you have no idea of how to change your results for the better. You didn’t choose your parents that hurt you or let you down. You didn’t choose the city where you were born. But as an adult you now get to choose. You choose who to date. Who to keep dating. What job to pursue and take. Most importantly you choose to ignore your personality flaws that lead you to making mistake after mistake. It’s time to stop the cycle. You can’t drink away the hurt, smoke away the hurt, fuck away the hurt, sleep all day, or wait for someone to save you from your own thoughts. It’s on you! You’re destined to do better than what you’re doing right now. But you have to CHOOSE to read this entire article with an open mind, not that same old defensive attitude and watch how quickly your life changes. Are you ready or are you going to run away from these words?

EXPLORING YOUR DAMAGE

Let’s define what it means to be damaged. I’m referring to those that have been traumatized by people or events, and instead of seeking to come to grips with those things, they continue as if nothing is wrong. Ignorantly allowing those wounds to fester, spread, and turn them into a shell of their former self. All of this happens in silence, it’s a form of depression that works under the surface then roars its ugly head the moment they try to connect, trust, or love someone new. You don’t want someone to turn back around and hurt you after you’ve already explained your pain, so you settle into this little bubble where you remain guarded and miserable. I guarantee that more than half the people reading this pretend they’re not bothered in public then cry into their pillow in private. It’s time to talk about these mental issues instead of faking like everyone is so tough well put together.

Let’s do a checklist: You complain about shit from the past that you can’t change. You distract yourself with whatever dumb ass news story that’s dominating social media. You self-medicate with shopping, drugs, or drink. You claim to be over everything and everybody…but that doesn’t stop you from letting the same types of people that hurt you before right back into your life to hurt you again. One day you’re blessed and highly favored, the next day you’re crying about how things will never work out for you. Now be honest. You’re not random, you’re depressed and have no idea of how to shake those hot and cold moments.

Life forges you like fucking steel, not so you can be hard and cold, but so you can cut through the bullshit. Yet, life’s lessons are lost on you as you recycle exes, fall in love with obvious liars, let shady family and friends continue to manipulate you, and point the finger outward instead of dusting your weak ass off and taking a stand! This universe is built to help those that help themselves and the first rule of ascending is don’t expect another human to play fair. The reason why I’m so loud has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you all. To see an intelligent woman make a dumb decision over a dick that isn’t even hers is a waste. To see a stand-up guy turn towards misogynistic views because he can’t deal with a woman’s rejection is a waste. All of you have the potential to be happy and to rise above your past, but you keep slipping back into the bullshit because you’re afraid to truly work on yourself.

Just because you’re damaged doesn’t mean you’re broken. If you’re single it feels hopeless when you realize that for anyone to love you they will have to learn you, and when your past is filled with mistakes you wonder who would want that. If you’re in a relationship that’s struggling it feels as if the only option is to put up with it because who else would accept you in your current state except the devil you know. Stop feeding into negativity and regain faith in yourself. There is nothing wrong with you that can’t be fixed over time and no trauma that can’t be healed with self-love. Life may not have given you the results you were expecting, but that doesn’t mean your story can’t change overnight. Don’t say “I deserve better” mean that shit! 

If you lie to yourself long enough, being comfortable starts to feel the same as being happy—but it’s not real. Do you truly love yourself or are you just stuck in a body living a life that you can’t change so you make do? Laugh at celebrities because that makes you forget about your own flaws. Get enraged about politics because that helps you channel your own self-hatred somewhere else. Plop your ass in front of a screen and watch a TV show, because watching fiction helps you numb your facts. Here’s an idea… Instead of avoiding all your issues let’s lift that rug where you’ve hidden all the things you’re ashamed of, and start to glue your life back together. Today I want to talk about rebuilding because if you can’t build with yourself how can you ever convince another person to build with you?

Addicted to The Same Type

Why are men always lying about dumb shit?” Um, why do you continue to talk to men that consistently lie in the first place? I notice a pattern with women (don’t worry we’ll get to the men below) when they complain about Fuck Boys, they talk around the real problem. A girl would rather question why a man acts the way he acts then question why she’s attracted to a man that consistently acts in that fucked up manner. If I own a cat that scratches at me every time I go to pet it, I’m getting rid of the fucking cat, not psychoanalyzing why it’s being an asshole. Damaged women are attracted to flawed men as if being emotionally unavailable is Maca Root. The core of this attraction, from the people I’ve studied, is that a woman feels that if she works hard to understand why a man treats her like shit, he’ll repay that compassion by doing the same investigation into her issues. Let’s keep it real, you wish you had someone who was brave enough to sit you down and ask why you’re hurting. You wish a man cared enough to try and understand and fix you, so you pour all this love into their problems hoping it’s reciprocated…but it never is. You waste all your time and energy on a guy that either runs off with another girl or is content to have you waiting around until he decides if he wants more. You rebuild a man for the next bitch, ensuring that he now understands how to now be a good boyfriend, meanwhile whose left to rebuild you? This leaves you stuck crying about how good you were to someone that’s off being Mr. Perfect for his next woman. When you find the energy to finally move on and try to love once more, guess who gets your pussy throbbing next? The same type of man!

How can you vent about needing a “Russell Wilson Type” when those type of men don’t even get your nipples hard? Look at the last four guys you really liked, I bet you they all had more in common than not. Look at the last four guys you didn’t feel chemistry with, I bet they had their shit together emotionally. He’s corny, he’s a nerd, it’s just something about him. Yeah, that something is called, “Being too secure.” Dating someone that has their shit together only points out just how far behind your own life is. Have you ever seen a young person be given a job above an older person? They resent them on the surface but what’s really going on is that they resent themselves for still being their age and not as far along—it’s the same thing with damaged people trying to date a person who isn’t insecure, a constant self-loathing reminder! The easy fix is to pursue someone who will allow you to play make believe, someone either worse off than you or that needs fixing. That shit never works, and you’re left bogged down with someone else’s problems while yours grow and grow.

Another piece of this fucked up mental puzzle is the want to prove and validate your past through the men of your present. Damaged women are constantly chasing the ex that hurt them or the man that rejected them because through conquering a man like her shitty boyfriend or absentee father she can prove to herself that it wasn’t her—it was him. The problem becomes that when you pick men with those traits, you’re skipping over the clear fucking message of—stay away from men like that you idiot! Your head’s hard and your pussy is moist, so you end up riding the dick of a guy that pushes you away and pulls you back in only to push you away again, and you end up calling that “true love”. You’re not dumb, you know these things, you just refuse to articulate them.

Is it chemistry or is it just familiarity? You see a guy on Instagram that has the same dumb ass hair cut as your boyfriend from two years ago, and you automatically like him for a reason you don’t tie together. You go to a bar and flirt with a guy that has the same smart-ass sense of humor as the guy that fucked you and never called you again, and you automatically feel a spark for a reason you don’t tie together. Get the picture yet? You’re not woke to your own toxic attractions, you’re sleepwalking through life because you refuse to admit you have a problem choosing men. Your hormones are locked onto those with a high chance of shitting on you, but when someone asks why you’re single you respond with some basic bitch slogan like: Because boys suck! No, beloved, the boys you try to turn into men suck because you equally suck. You break up, blame the guy for acting the way guys like him act, and then rush back on the market to repeat this step. Pump your breaks! Stop dating for a minute. Stop taking phone numbers. Stop responding to DMs. Understand what you’re chasing after because it’s not male love. You’re driven by the lack of self-love tied to something that hurt you in your childhood or adolescence and that needs to be healed before you start dating again.

Assuming Everyone Wants to Play You

Another type of damaged woman is the one that is overly cautious and full of attitude. I get emails from a handful of women that will run down a normal date then always end it with, “So what do you think? He’s trying to play me, right?” You want someone to co-sign your paranoia because you’re deathly afraid of going through heartbreak again. You can’t spend life in a shell! Men want pussy—who doesn’t know that? Should men not want to fuck you? A part of falling for a woman is first being sexually attracted to her, you can’t get one without the other, and anyone that tries to blow smoke up your ass about how he fell in love with your mind first is lying. Kill all this noise about not wanting a man that objectifies you and wanting someone that’s “just a friend” because you sound naïve. I get it, a man led you on then fell back. A boyfriend broke up with you after he got all the benefits of your unselfish behavior. A guy who said he wasn’t like the rest treated you just like the rest, and you’re sick of crying over men. You think the solution is to throw on your Savage mask, turn Cardi B up, and live a life where you fuck these men before they fuck you—but you’re not built like that, cupcake. You think the solution is to avoid dating, focus on work or school, and buy a case of batteries—but you still lust for love, princess. If you sit out the game for fear of being injured how many championships do you think you’ll win? People are sneaky and devious but you can’t tell me that any woman that’s read the majority of this website or any of my books can’t outwit a player or see through a mindfuck in a week or less? Being damaged isn’t just about the obvious bad behavior or funky attitude, it’s also about being so stuck in your fear that you refuse to give anyone a chance. You don’t have to ask me, your friends, or google if someone is out to get you—assume they are, but go into battle knowing that you’re a fucking Spartan, and no dick tactics formed against you can possibly penetrate your mental armor!

Chasing After Rejection

The saddest sign that a woman needs to do self-healing and awaken her inner Spartan is when she chases after a man that’s making it clear he doesn’t want her. At least twice a week I get asked, “Do you think he likes me,” then presented with evidence where a woman should already know that he doesn’t. The dating stage is complicated, it relies on signs and assumptions. You can text all week with someone or go out on a long date and feel as if they get you, then the next week they switch up on you, leaving you confused. I’ve covered in exhaust how people put on fronts during the honeymoon stage of getting to know a person and that only through time and patience can you truly be sure of an agenda. Still, when you’re hurting and looking for a savior in the form of a lover, it’s hard to see the writing on the wall. You’re expecting him to not call you after sex—but he does like nothing has changed only to fall back before having sex again. He takes you out on three dates, you don’t have sex, and he seems as if he likes you even more than you like him—but he falls back. Everything is going good, you think this is about to be official—but he stops texting you with the same enthusiasm and he doesn’t make plans to see you as he once did. Talk about confusing! All of these rules you try to follow get turned upside down, and you don’t know why this keeps happening to you. Instead of accepting that his falling back is proof of incompatibility, you try to win him back and that’s where you ruin your life.

A man will reject you in such a subtle yet obvious way that every part of you will refuse to accept it. The ego hates to be humbled so it reaches for an excuse that will make the rejection sting less. You want to learn how men think. You want to backtrack to see what could have gone wrong. You want to stalk his social media to see if he found someone else. You want to text him paragraphs asking what you did wrong. You want to call and say, “Fuck you, clown! You ain’t all that anyway!” These thoughts race through your head, but the truth is you just want someone to like you or give you another chance to show that you are likable. When you have gone through various men falling back multiple times, each new rejection reminds you that you aren’t what guys are looking for. It’s not just one or two men—every man that has gotten to know you has shown that. Even when they come back trying to talk to you again, it ends the same way, so the victory of “they always come back,” is meaningless. Those guys didn’t return because they felt as if you were special, they are either bored or gaming. What hurts more, a man that comes back and plays you or going out and meeting a new guy that doesn’t live up to his potential? You all want the comfort of that old thing but you fail to notice that by being constantly rejected by a person that knows you intimately it does more damage. How many times are you going to let him come over late at night for a talk that turns into his face between your legs? How many times are you going to unblock him hoping the bullshit he texts you is any different from the last time? How many times are you going to to let someone keep sampling you only to remind you that you’re not good enough?

Stop chasing after men that don’t fucking want you!”

– shit women who don’t take their own advice say every day.

Knowing how males think won’t make one take you back. Texting a man paragraphs on top of paragraphs about your feelings won’t make him reconsider you as the wifey type. Unfollowing a man on social media won’t make him call you. Posting a meme about “They always want you after you find someone else,” will not inspire remorse. Going to go fuck your ex or some random that happens to be around won’t send a message that he’s missing out. If a man wants you, he goes all in to get you! There doesn’t need to be outside pressure or blackmail to make him see you for what you as special! He either does or he doesn’t. If he’s not showing love, he’s not feeling love—it’s just that simple!

How it feels when we men are into a woman: She doesn’t have to text you first, you reach out whenever she’s on your mind. Even when you’re busy, you find time to see her. You give without expecting anything in return. You don’t reach out exclusively at night when you want pussy. You don’t leave things unsaid when you know she’s upset for any reason. You don’t have her wondering what you are, you tell her she’s yours!

You can’t check any of those things off your list because the men you’re crying about don’t fucking want you. Nevertheless, you play yourself by continuing to reach out until he’s forced to respond. If and when he responds what happens next? A man’s lies are as strong as fentanyl in the ears of a weak woman. He calms you down with a “sorry” or a lame excuse as to why he’s been acting that way. You forgive him, let him back in for as long as he’s bored or on break from the life he would rather be living, then he pulls the same trick. He pushed you away because he didn’t want you the way you wanted him, you pulled him back because you hated to be rejected, did you think that was going to last? Reaching back out or being receptive to you reaching out again doesn’t prove shit but the presence of boredom or horniness. “My friend got back with this guy that was playing games, now they have a kid together and are happy,” turns into, “Remember my friend, her baby daddy broke up with her for another girl, why are guys so fucked up!” Someone really told me that and all I could do is laugh. Of course he left her because she forced a relationship on a man that didn’t want her. It happens everyday and dudes will always find an escape route because no one wants to stay with a Placeholder! You’re so damaged and desperate that you deny this truth in favor of the narrative that he manipulated you. No Basica, the snake fell to the ground and slithered away, you ran through the grass looking for the snake because you don’t have any other options, and he bit your ass. Don’t be bitter, be better! Your insecurities made you fall for the type of treatment that a more powerful woman would have never put up with, so what separates your gullibility from her wisdom?

Stop Pushing People Away:

The moment a man is trying to pour true honest love into a damaged woman that isn’t used to someone not having a malicious agenda, she runs. A lot of the men reading this know exactly what I’m talking about because it’s the most frustrating thing a guy can deal with—being genuine but having your motives questioned or rejected. One of the hardest things I find for women to grasp is the notion that it’s okay to let go of the hurt and receive love. They’re used to being betrayed, so running becomes a defense mechanism.

The Ballad of Ms. ChooChoo: A woman once came to me faking as if she couldn’t find love because all the men she has dealt with end up having these toxic secrets. She ran down all these past relationships to prove her point. Attached a picture of herself to prove that physically she was a 10. It was almost like a serial killer begging to be exposed. Weeks later we finally touched on her last boyfriend who “was always busy with work” and she revealed that it didn’t end quite how she told me in her initial email. He was busy with work, and she used that to justify talking to other men even though they were in a relationship. She confessed that she sent a nude to one guy. They took a break, but he agreed to keep it going because he loved her. She followed that forgiveness by accusing him of sleeping with a co-worker. That wasn’t true and again she apologized and they kept the relationship going. The next incident was when she went out with some friends, meets a guy, then ends up back at his place for sex. This wasn’t an ex or a guy she had been texting, this was a random stranger who happened to be at the event she attended. I’m reading this email thinking this was the final straw, but her confession kept going… She ends up having a threesome with that same guy and one of his friends—twice! She keeps this to herself for what I assume was months and only tells her boyfriend when he’s about to take a trip for a conference. To come full circle she didn’t have trouble finding love, she had trouble being loved to the point where she kept finding new ways to push this man away. Her sending pics, accusing him, or having ChooChoo time had nothing to do with her boyfriend not being a decent man—she was looking for a way out of something she couldn’t handle—a healthy relationship.

Stop Hating, Start Healing

Somewhere in your life story there is an incident or setback that you’re clinging onto that continues to hold you back and you’re the only one that can pull that out. You can talk to your mother or father. You can track down an ex on Facebook and have closure. You can get surgery to be more visually appealing. You can get straight A’s or amass a huge savings account… none of that is going to stomp out the way you feel about yourself. The fake smile you call “life” needs to be wiped away so you can finally admit that you’re not happy living this way.

There is nothing so horrible that you can’t recover from it! I’ve seen women get incurable STDs, regroup and still find love. I’ve helped women that have gone through sexual abuse rise above and remember their power. I’ve talked to several women that had men they considered to be soulmates die, and each one bounced back once they stopped cursing their circumstances. You must find the courage to dig into whatever you hate about your life and address that because no one else will ever care enough to do it for you. There is nothing wrong with investing in a therapy session, talking to your true friends, or writing down all the ways where you feel weak or insecure so you can set a goal to repair each of those areas day by day. The answer to moving towards who you were always meant to be starts with ridding yourself of the person that’s been holding you back. When I look in the eyes of my newborn daughter these days and she grins, there isn’t any pain or worry. Each one of you was innocent until the world darkened you, and you owe it to yourself to find a way back to that place.

click here to download The Adulting Audio Guide…

Ladies forward this next section to a man who NEEDS it…

For the Men

I have a friend that’s a “Red Pill” practitioner, you know, down with feminism take back the man’s world from the bitches type. In terms of confidence, it works as he stays with a girl busting it open at his condo every weekend…but it’s the type of girls that he chooses versus the girls he talks to me about wanting that points to a huge hole a lot of men have. There comes an age where half the girls you’ve slept with you can’t remember and no one wants to hear those “yo, I fucked this one chick” stories anymore. When you’re in college live your life, but how the fuck are you 29 years old still asking guys, “where the hos at tonight?” You’re holding on to what makes little boys cool! A grown ass man proud to be smashing basic girls that we all could smash– you want a cookie? No one gives props for that anymore so what’s the excuse for not going after quality women or pushing away those that prove to be your equal? You’re afraid.I ain’t afraid of shit, bro” sure you are, you’re afraid of loving a girl just like the one I described above that got a train ran on her then went back and kissed all on her boyfriend. You’re afraid of proposing to a girl only to find out she just wanted joint bank accounts. You’re afraid of wasting your life with a woman that doesn’t understand you or keeps throwing old shit in your face. You’re afraid to choose wrong, period. Girls are scary because they have the power to make us lose ourselves in them, and to give your heart to the wrong one could fuck you up for life. There are guys that are still damaged from a high school girl’s rejection ten years later. There are guys that had a hard time losing their virginity and feel a need to take it out on any woman that dares try to like him in his current state. We call women petty and emotional but there are males that take the fucking cake on acting like straight bitches.

Not all women are hos out to get something out of you. Not all women are damaged goods stuck on their ex or looking to push you away the minute you get close. Not all women are going to badger you about hanging out with your friends too much or call you gay because you choose to take a trip with the fellas. Not all women are going to hold shit in only to start an argument weeks later. Not all women thirst for attention and want to text twelve dudes just so they can feel secure. If the women you constantly attract or tend to lust after fit those descriptions then you should address the elephant in the fucking room—you’re chasing after the wrong ones because there’s something broken inside of you that has something to prove to the wrong ones. Ask any truly mature man in your circle or look at the shit Hov or Gucci overcame in the name of not wanting to lose a good woman and then look at the reason you’re still stuck on seeing chicks as just pussy. We all grow up and we all have to embrace the challenge of going through the Ms. Wrongs in order to get to our Ms. Right.

Typical women think any man that’s cocky and loud is an Alpha Male because they don’t know what real confidence looks like and confuse douche bag or aggressive behavior with power. At the same time, people throw the term “simp” out there liberally these days, but I’ll tell you who is the actual simp—men that hide their fear behind tough talk. You rant online or in the barbershop about ho this/ ho that, yet slide into the DMs or approach a girl based on her lack of clothes or mannish behavior. You’re talking shit about the type of girl you claim to hate while trying to put your face between her ass cheeks—that’s fraudulent as fuck. You hate her guts but want to be in her guts… huh? It’s not about easy sex because I’ve seen the screen grabs—you are actually putting in work and effort with the same girls you name call. Let’s keep it G, you push away the nice girls that will do any and everything, claim you’re not ready for a relationship, then fall for a textbook manipulator the next weekend. Girls are so confused as to why men chase the women that give them their ass to kiss, yet play games with the ones that would wipe their ass for them, but it’s simple—you’re seeking validation.

Basic Guy Checklist: Self-medicating with weed or pills. Finding any reason to drink and party. Immersing yourself in conspiracy theories that make you seem smart and woke. Reaching out to weak exes. Sliding thirsty chicks into situationships. Preying on big girls with low self esteem. Acting fake-jealous because you know a girl will take that to mean you care and come running. Ignoring texts and not communicating because you want the rush of someone acting like they care. Having no fucks to give when you go raw in a girl you barely like because it’s not like you’re doing anything anyway. Breaking up a relationship with a girl that’s moved on just to prove you still have control of her. Faking like you’re going to kill yourself if she does leave. Abandoning a chick and throwing a new girl in her face just to see what happens. These are the things damaged men do every single day because it helps avoid the real problem—depression. If you do any of those things don’t be mad, don’t get defensive, I need you to do the same thing I ask of the women, go inside and figure your shit out before you waste more years.

The Real Red Pill

When that woman told me the story of the threesome, I thought about her boyfriend and how that probably led him down a path he still hasn’t recovered from. Imagine the girl you loved doing something to cut you that deep and all you ever did was love her? There are damaged men that need to mature or let go of their pain, but there are also normal men that will put themselves out there and get played because they’re chasing the glitter of a woman without inspecting the core of her character. I want to help men to navigate the game, not in a way where the woman is the enemy and pussy is the objective, but in a way where you prepare yourself to side step the wrong types of women, and a Game Changer is the objective. When I wrote THIS ARTICLE I told you all I was working on something for the men, and that something was a new book that serves to wake up men that need motivation the same way Men Don’t Love Women Like You served to help women to Spartan Up and it’s called: She’s Not It

Why don’t you write a book telling the men what they need to do,” there you go. Now I don’t want to hear you deflecting with that anymore. I’ve said for years that a woman is either the wifey type or pussy. Either a Placeholder or a Game Changer, but the same applies for men. Now it’s time to ask yourself are you going to be the type of man that can grow into a husband or will you stay a dick just looking for a nut? Are you going to pretend like you have the answers only to end up like Rob Kardashian or are you going to let someone help put you up on game? I’ve talked to so many types of women and men over the years about their problems and I wish I could put the Queens that fall for the Dickticians with the Kings that fall for the Basicas, but I’m not a matchmaker. What I can do is help bridge the gap, so every man who reads it can start to attract a worthy partner.

For the ladies, I think it will benefit you all to read it too (or send a copy as a gift for a guy that needs to get the hint) because it discusses a lot of things you may not realize you do in keeping yourself in the role of Placeholder.  I’ve also included Bonus Chapters for the women answering top questions about men. That alone is a must read.

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Thanks for reading Dating While Damaged

Chasing You Doesn’t Mean He’s Interested: Guarding Against Users

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Far From BasYc

A guy chased you for years trying to get a date, and you finally gave in only for him to lose interest a month later…

A guy spent weeks blowing up your phone, taking you out, and tricking gifts only to randomly become too busy to text back…

A guy who had a WHOLE girlfriend left her just to get a shot with you, only to ghost you without reason…

Catch and Release it’s what we males do at some point during our lives if not for life. Every woman reading this has had a man on her heels; thirsting, spending, begging, being vulnerable all in an attempt to get your full attention. THEN the moment you start to like this guy more than usual, he switches up. Sometimes it comes after sex, sometimes you don’t even have sex. Regardless if you sleep with him or not, the real damage comes in the form of the confused rejection. Let’s be honest ladies, sometimes these false alarm men are everything you’re looking for physically and personality-wise… but 8 out of 10 times they’re not your type. You adjusted your checklist because of how he pursued you. Coming correct with real effort, is a turn on that quickly turns Mr. So-So into Mr. Sexy AF.

Make sure a man is more into you than you are into himis solid advice until you realize that men are experts at turning the table and making you fall hard and fast. The first month he was on you, but by the second month, you’re the one open due to the attention and treatment. That’s the Catch phase. Then, out of nowhere, that same eager man stops calling as much, stops trying to see you, gets busy, and eventually you stop speaking altogether. That’s the Release phase. Why did he do that? What was the point? Keep reading…

I’ve heard all the stories from, “Everything changed after we had sex,” to “I didn’t even fuck him, he still started acting funny” and most recently, “He doesn’t make an effort to see me anymore but still watches all my IG stories…” Rejection is a bitch, especially when you felt like the dominant force in the driver’s seat. He was on your clit, yet he still had the power to take away his attention and hurt your feelings. You say you don’t care, but you do. You claim he didn’t ghost you, but he did. Yeah, he’ll text back some dry bullshit if you hit him first—doesn’t mean he likes your ass. Yeah, he watches your social media stories—but he’s looking at every cute girl’s story, that shit isn’t special. You may even pretend you cut him off, but the reality is if he reached out and wanted to see you, you would be like— “If you want…You still want to repair things, not because you see him as special, but because rejection invalidates your ego. To feel better, you need to be recognized by the same person who pulled you in and pushed you away. Vent about him, curse his name, go date someone else, it won’t take away the pain, beloved. The very thought of him triggers you because once again a man made you look stupid. He’s off living his best life, and you’re stuck in your feelings, wondering what you said, did, or didn’t do that drove him away. In the end, it’s all a game, and it’s time for you to stop losing.

The Pursuit

Do the romantic actions of men during those first few weeks or months mean they want you? That depends on how you define “want.” 90% of straight men would fuck you, yes even you over there who just sucked your teeth…your low self-esteem having ass could get dick tomorrow if you tried because guys are easy. Sex or the fetish attraction driven by lust is not the “want” I’m referring to when discussing pursuit. When I say “want” I’m talking about a passion to get to know who you are beneath the surface, not beneath your clothes. I’m pointing to a need to experience the whole of you and ultimately to tether himself as your man because he can’t imagine another having you. Every male has romantic passion inside of him. There is no such thing as a man who doesn’t want or need love. “So why didn’t he want me after I did XYZ” Ah-ha! That’s the carrot that’s dangling. Just because a man is capable of giving you his love doesn’t mean he will. In my book Men Don’t Love Women Like You I outline Game Changer’s versus Placeholders, so I won’t go into that psychology. Instead I want you to understand what negative pursuit looks like so you can save yourself the frustration of falling for someone who will eventually run hot then go cold.

When was the last time you’ve been truly wanted on a deeper level than the physical? Do you even know how to tell the difference between someone truly interested and someone who is chasing you for sport? Each of you has dated or has seen enough of your friends’ date to recognize that pursuit doesn’t equate to genuine interests. Even still, you “give chances” aka “allow yourself to be played” because you have yet to master the ability to poke holes in a person’s character. You want to believe in the bullshit philosophy that if a person is treating you good in the beginning that their intentions are pure. A few dates, daily texts, long phone calls, going on a trip, are nothing but a smokescreen, but you swear it means that a person really likes you because when it comes to romance, ego drowns out wisdom!

A man’s willingness to chase what’s between your legs isn’t the same as craving you on a deeper emotional level. Some men chase to get over exes. Some men chase to boost their own low self-esteem. Some men chase out of power. Some men chase women in relationships because it feels good to beat out another man. Some men chase women who see them as platonic, just because they want to prove they can get out of that friend box. Some guys get your number just text you, never even asking you on a date, because you’re just conversation, not worth taking out. Some men talk to you just to get closer to your friend, that’s who he really wants to hit. And yes, men chase women for pussy more times than not because that’s what we’re hard-wired to want, a nut. I know you’re thinking, “I hate boys, I quit.” Again, I’m not talking about ALL MEN. I’m just preparing you to toughen up, so you see past the ones I’m currently describing.

Why Male Bullshit Works

Woman Logic: But there are so many other women he could go after that would be easier… why spend all that time talking on the phone… why spend money on dates… why tell me all these deep things… why chase me if it was just a hallow act of boredom, lust, or competition?

Men don’t need a cosmic reason to go after you other than an impulse. The game goes CHASE, CATCH, RELEASE until we run into a Game Changer that makes us want to hold onto the catch stage longer than normal or even forever. Some men like the idea of a woman, but once they get hold of her, that reality can fail to create that same spark as that imagined fantasy, so they fall back, get busy, or simply pop up with something new so you get the hint. I know… it’s a cold fucked up world. Even making it this simple, you’re probably still confused. If a guy just wants to have sex, why doesn’t he say it? If he still wants to shop around why treat you like a girlfriend? Think of males like career criminals, some mature and reform their ways and are totally honest when pursuing women. The other half, all they know is how to run game, even when it would be easier to be honest. I call these guys The Typical Males…

Typical Male Actions: Chase for sex but act and talk as if they want more. Ruin a platonic or work friendship by saying they want to take it deeper but in actuality they just want to hit. Have a friends with benefits situation but manipulates the woman into not talking to other men, but make sure he’s free to still fuck other women. Has a girlfriend and wants new pussy for diversity sake, but claims they’re unhappy in their relationship so the woman feels less guilty about allowing him to cheat with her.

As a woman you’re not wired to play this kind of cat and mouse game. You’re looking for something real and assume someone who puts in that initial effort is also looking for something substantial.This is why men need to change their ways! GL, teach these boys to be men!” that’s not going to happen, princess, this behavior works too well. The only change is when women stop falling for it. The question is, why do YOU assume pursuit is genuine when you’ve seen how the story goes? How do smart women consistently allow their hearts to override their common sense? Is it hope? Is it optimism? No. It’s ego.  

Riddle me this: are you naïve to how men operate or do truly believe the men who chase after you are exceptions to this rule? Women live for attention. I’m not talking about the telling everyone it’s your birthday month, brand of basic attention. The ego that men exploit is that want to be wanted, praised, and proven special. Think about the world you live in with social media, affordable plastic surgery, and the bombardment of women who either look better than you look or have more than what you have. No matter who you are, you can go through that discovery page on IG and see a chick that seemingly outshines you in your own opinion. To have someone on your heels as if you’re a celebrity, to tell you how better you are than other women, to risk their relationship, or wait on the sideline waiting for you to give them a shot is empowering. In the moment where men kiss your ass, blow up your phone, or spend money on you, you feel like a goddess. That’s how a Kardashian feels, that’s how Beyoncé feels, that’s not just romantic love, it’s groupie love that proves that no matter how many likes those chicks on IG get, you’re just as amazing.

The catch is, you’re not being chased daily, at least not by men you would consider dating. That validation that you can ONLY get from male attention doesn’t occur that often, leaving you lost at times. You don’t need a man, but it’s nice to have one to talk to… you don’t want a relationship, but it feels good to go out and be treated like you’re the only woman in the world. New men who pursue you know that you have this insecure crack in your armor, and they slip through with consistent effort. Exes or guys, you cut off run back and play to your ego as well, and you allow them to remain in your life because you LOVE male attention. Own up to your insecurities and stop pretending you don’t long for affection because faking like you’re a savage isn’t going to protect your heart. The 21st century is a very shallow place. Depression and Anxiety are more common than ever, and positive reinforcement that you are good enough is hard to find if you don’t have self-confidence. You’ve been waiting to be chased, waiting to play hard to get, waiting for a man to put in effort and passionately claim you. That masculine energy of showing you that you’re wanted not only makes you moist it blinds you to the fact that it may be fool’s gold. With your eyes now open. Here are the top things to look for to guard against this onslaught.

Guarding Against The Pursuit

The Blitz Test: He meets you, he’s smitten, he gets your number. That’s how most of you will start this journey. It doesn’t matter how you meet him online or off. What you need to look out for his that initial hurry to win you over. A man being excited and in a rush to text you, call you, or take you out isn’t a negative. You want engagement, not someone who is trying to play it way too cool like you’re some average bitch. However, you can’t let a man consume all your time out of the gate. Marathon phone calls—bonds you fast. Multiple dates in one week—bonds you fast. Taking you out of town during the first month—bonds you fast. The more a guy talks to you the more comfortable you get. Lowering a woman’s guard can be difficult because of the nature of the fuck boy dating pools that have hardened most females. From an early age, men learn that getting a woman to open her legs is often easier than getting her to open up about who she is and all the things she’s survived. The workaround to soften even the toughest woman is to blitz her.

By smothering a woman by wanting to see her and talk to her every day during the first 1-4 weeks a man succeeds in earning her trust. It sounds silly, but it’s beyond common. The routine of talking to him becomes comforting. The conversation is fun because everything you reveal or that he reveals is exciting and new. The second level conversations where you have inside jokes or where he just shuts up and listens to your problems, it puts you at ease. If he’s taking you out on date after date, it’s like a fairytale; you finally have something to do and can brag to your friends about all the places you’re going. In terms of rival men, your ex, situationship bae, or even that crush you’ve been waiting to make a move on, they all get pushed to the side because he’s overcharging you with male energy to the point where you don’t have time to think about outside dick.

He’s not your boyfriend, you won’t even have sex at this point, but by blitzing you with attention and consistent healthy treatment you will over like him in short time. There are stories of people who met, were inseparable, and jumped into a relationship so you may think it’s good that a man is blitzing you, it’s evidence that he thinks you’re special. You’re not worried about how much time you’re spending with him because this is what “love” is supposed to feel like…then he stops seeing you as much, and you’re now searching his social media for clues only to find out he’s now blitzing a new woman.

Guarding Against The Blitz: Never give any ONE man more than 20% of your time during the courting stage. He can call you and text you, but don’t talk to him every night and don’t text him throughout the day. His job is to take you out and date you so you can see how much he values you. With that as a goal, that first 1-2 weeks of conversation should consist of seeing if he’s good enough/safe enough to take you out and then planning that date. You text to chit chat. You jump on the phone to find out the basics if you don’t already know them, such as his job status, his family history, and to poke for red flags from past relationships. Once you set the date, there’s not much to keep talking about until AFTER that first date.

On that first date is where you do all the vetting that I’ve covered on this site and in my books. If he tries to see you again that next day, decline. If he tries to take you on a date again in two more days or wants you to meet up with his friends at some bar, decline. If he calls you after work and wants to talk, have a conversation about things you forgot to talk about on that date, but keep it short. Do not spend the next four nights after your first date talking for hours and having phone sex. Dirty talk turns into wanting to see you, and you’re just as horny, so you want to see him. Even though you may not go over to his place and have sex, you now get into the habit of house chilling. That’s how the blitz works lady, men pour all that attention on you until you loosen up the standards, and now because you had marathon phone sessions, went out a few times in one week, and let him kiss below the neck, you’re open. Two weeks ago, he was a stranger who you didn’t even think was all that cute, now you’re getting fingered to Disney+.

Learn to lie about things you have to do the next day. Learn to make excuses for why you can’t randomly see him after work. Learn to say, “how about Friday, instead.” 20% of your time means that even if you’re bored and lonely you must maintain the image of a busy life. If he sees you’re a do-nothing chick or all you have outside of work are reality shows and social media scrolling, he’s going to run over you. At the same time, men need to be humbled while in pursuit, even the good ones. My now-wife told me “no” several times and did not pick up the phone every time I called. Slowing down the process keeps a man honest, and it keeps you from getting caught up in the wave of that new exciting energy of male affection. Again, you may not like lying or faking busy, but it’s better to play hard to get than to get played.

The Spoil Test: One of my favorite internet jokes is “It’s always ‘how was your day’ never here let me pay your rent’ boys are so ghetto” One of my favorite Ho Tactics stories was “G.L. I did what was in the book and why did this guy give me money for my rent before we even went on a date.” For every joke about men spending money, there are actual guys who don’t mind tricking because they have it. The world we live in is filled with tricks, treats, and sponsors. Some of you will meet these kinds of men for the very first time, and it will blow your mind because you will assume the spending of money means he’s invested in a future with you. Money isn’t everything blah blah blah, but have you ever just gotten $500 just because it was a Tuesday and he was thinking about you? No matter what you can do for yourself, money mixed with consistent male attention is extremely seductive.

The most common version of Spoiling pursuit that I’m emailed isn’t so much money being given, but the kind of dates a man pampers a new woman with. Five-star restaurants, tickets to a concert, treating your friends, and being offended if any of them try to pay, one guy took my friend on a Helicopter ride the first date, just to remind her who the fuck he was. Most men ball out the first date. What the Spoiler does is keep up that effort and show you that this isn’t a front to fuck you fast, it’s how he rolls. Unlike typical males these kinds of pursuers are rarely in a rush to push for sex. A lot of women I advise are confused as to why a man is spending without trying to hustle them back to their room. The sex isn’t the payoff, the payoff is blowing your mind, keeping that smile on your face, and then going in for the kill when he feels he’s played the “Daddy” role long enough. It’s a male ego trip that you don’t know is at play because in your mind you’re counting all the money he’s spent just to get to know you and assume you have him sprung. Wrong!

Laying up with a cute guy and cuddling is nice, but it doesn’t stroke the ego like riding in his luxury car, being giving gifts just because, showing off to your friends, and being surprised each week with what he has planned for you next. It’s easy to get caught up in this world he’s creating for you, but there is something deeper than materialism at play. Spoiling activates the “security” programing that all women have. That program dictates: I can do things on my own, but it would be so good if I had someone like this to partner up with me. Women unconsciously look for providers, it’s how the entire human race has survived. The result is in a month or two he wins you over, and then the wheels come off. Maybe he has sex, and the lust dissipates, or maybe he finds a new version of you to spoil. Either way you’re left emotionally distraught because you didn’t lose some guy; you lost a fucking Unicorn. Now it’s back to dating broke boys or stingy guys who expect you to go Dutch. “How do I get him back, GL” is what I hear all the time when it comes to dating these spoilers, but the truth is, you never had him in the first place, he was just buying an experience.

The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself

Guarding Against The Spoil Test: Act like you’ve been treated to nice shit before even if you haven’t! Narcissists and egomaniacs get off on blowing your mind with treatment, but they’re waiting to pull the rug from under you and “send you back to the streets.” Control freaks use money to gain your loyalty, then dangle it over your head once you become dependent. I have stories about how to turn the tables and milk them dry, but this isn’t about Ho Tactics, this is about guarding your heart. When you come up against this kind of man, you must use reverse psychology. By the third fancy place, suggest something more low key or more your speed. Never turn down a gift, but return the favor by giving them a return present the next time. For every aspect of trying to overdo it, you need to fire back the favor. Not only does this show him that you don’t need his money, it proves that you bring something to the table. If he was only looking for a toy, then this reaction won’t sit well with him, and you’ll expose his darker nature. If he saw you as just another bird who would follow the crumbs, this will make him rethink his perception of your personality. Most importantly if he starts to put pressure on you for sex and brings up what he’s done for you, then that’s a crimson red flag that he’s not invested on a real level.

The Push & Pull Test: This form of pursuit is one most of you know well. You meet a guy, he seems interested in you, but before you get traction it crumbles, only for him to come sniffing back around. I’ve gone over this many times, at the relationship level, but it’s just as effective in the early dating phase. You meet a guy, you vibe, then the monkey wrench comes: You get in an argument over something dumb, and he stops responding to you. He has poor communication skills, and you get sick of going back and forth with him and cut him off. He makes plans only to cancel them and not reschedule.

The psychology behind The Push & Pull hits at the nerve of your insecurity—Am I worthy of love? If a man thinks you’re too confident and wants to knock you down a peg so he can reign over you, all he has to do is take away his attention. This humbles you so that when he comes back with “I miss you,” your attitude has been adjusted to his liking. If a man wants you on his roster but also wants the freedom to keep going after other women, The Push & Pull could be as simple as allowing you to find out that he talks to other women, then cursing you out about being in his business. He lets you marinate in this rage/sadness for a week or so, then he comes back with sweet words that you’re the only one for him. He’s still dealing with other bitches, but because you just got reprimanded, you’re not going to rock the boat again. The main thing to remember is that the Push & Pull is a mindfuck, it’s gaslighting at the most basic level that relies on using guilt and rejection to make you bend your personality to his will. The scary part about this version of pursuing you is that it won’t stop after sex, so long as you prove to be an obedient sucker he’ll always pull you in when he needs something, push you away when you start to resist his bullshit and then pull you back in when he knows you’re once again vulnerable.

Guarding Against The Push & Pull: Don’t react to the mind fucks! It really is as simple as being quick to cut someone off, no matter how much you like them. The moment a man blows you off or ghost you ask yourself if it was warranted. 9 out of 10 times it won’t be. Maybe you have a smart mouth, and he was reacting off something you did or said. Explore that don’t allow him to gaslight you into believing that’s exactly what happened. Many of you have this paralyzing fear that you will miss out on “The One” and be single forever. You have flaws, you’re no saint, and when a man cuts you off or ghosts you because of something he claims you did that anxiety whispers “yup, that’s what I do, and this is why I’ll always be alone.” Bullshit. Again, explore what led to him pushing you away, and if it doesn’t line up as understandable, block and delete him because he’s trying to sink his hooks in with an imaginary beef. In terms of ghosting with no explanation, stop letting men come back into your life without explaining their actions. If he can’t communicate where he was for the past week or weeks, then why are you giving him a second chance? If he gives you some asinine answer like “I had family troubles” or blames it on work and being busy, then keep the gate up and tell him you’re good.

I know its easier said than done, ladies. I know it’s hard to find a man whose looks and actions match what you’ve been praying for, so you impulsively give him the benefit of the doubt. His potential is why you unblock him. His smooth words or heartfelt texts are chicken soup for your insecure soul, so you agree to see him again. You can be a bit crazy, so you justify his toxic actions towards you. You forgive only to see your feelings hurt all over again. If your love life were playing out in a movie, you would be yelling at the screen, but it’s not. You live life in a bubble of confusion wishing you just knew what to do or say to make the good times last and to keep him liking you. The want to be loved has you looking like a fool, and you can’t even see it. Guarding against mind fucks aren’t hard if you don’t have a mind that can be fucked with. Secure your mental!

The next time a man rejects you in this way, I want you to go in the bathroom, look in the mirror and repeat: “The man that’s for me would never treat me this way.” Be high maintenance, be quick to dismiss, and don’t worry about if you were in the wrong. No, you’re not perfect, and you’re not always right, but a man who sees potential in you would rather talk about your faults than push you away. Real men try to heal and uplift, they don’t suck their teeth and ignore your texts. The fact that any man would run away over something that could be discussed maturely only to come back trying to exploit you proves that he’s not emotionally worthy of being in your life.

You Should Be Earned

Vet. Question. Test. Vet = spend time getting to know him and check for consistencies in his persona. Question = ask the things you want to know and stop assuming based on second hand information you researched online or that someone told you. Test = go out into the real world and see how his mood changes, be unavailable to see how he reacts, and always keep track of if his actions continue to match his words!

For a step by step blueprint click HERE for The Spartan Dating Script

Thanks for reading Chasing You Doesn’t Mean He’s Interested: Guarding Against Users

Are Today’s Men Scared of Pussy Part II: Rise of The Simp

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Far From BasYc

Guy 1: Worked with this woman for over a year, really liked her, they had a great vibe, flirted innocently… but he never asked her on a date. Not even when a co-worker told him that she was into him. One day this woman popped up with a boyfriend, later on she moved in with said boyfriend. Finally, one night after work, Guy 1 sat in her car and confessed that he was in love. She politely informed him that she was in love too…with her new man. The guy took it hard and stopped speaking to her at work all together.

Guy 2: Dated this woman for several months, and by date I mean watched TV and fucked. The woman asked me for advice on how to get out of this situationship. I advised her to communicate her wants (in a very Spartan way). She did. This guy broke down in tears and revealed that he had been cheated on by his last two girlfriends and he wasn’t ready for anything serious. She walked away because being come over and chill pussy wasn’t her goal. Guy 2 came back two years later saying he was ready. She sent him back a screenshot of her engagement ring and the letters “FOH”.

Guy 3: Was a friend of mine who entered a relationship with a woman who was a pretty big deal in the entertainment industry. Not only did they have tons of things in common, she motivated him to get his career to the next level and even hooked him up with some connections that paid off. Not even a year into the relationship he cheated. She broke up with him. He ran back to his ex-girlfriend, a ratchet from the hood who was unemployed, didn’t care what he did with his life so long as she got to lay under him. To this day he tells me the first woman was trying to change who he was, this other girl just let’s him do him.

What the fuck is wrong with today’s men? All the big talk on social media, all the stories about how they’re not afraid of anything, it’s all CAP. I’ve noticed this shift in men becoming soft and women becoming hard years ago and I wrote She Ain’t It in order to help them as best I could. Still, most men aren’t going to read and learn, instead they’ll keep being defensive, keep being afraid, and keeping blowing their shots at love. Ladies, you may think men don’t care, are these emotionally unavailable creatures, and because they’re cut to you or have money they can get hoes. Allow me to open up the reality jar. In the years I’ve been doing this site, I’ve come across athletes, musicians, police officers, even a CEO of teach company you all know, and these men, just like the every day Joes, push women away or refuse to put themselves out there because of fear. Today I’m going to go over a few different aspects of Male Fear. If you’re a guy reading this, read until the end. If you’re a woman, SHARE this shit, because these guys need to be held accountable in order to better their lives.

The Rise of The Simp (The Problem With Today’s Men)

Some men are used to rejection, some men have steel nerves, and some men know that a few bad relationships isn’t a reason to shut down. To those fellas, I applaud you for being strong. What I can’t respect is the: I’m too short… all these women are hoes… they don’t really like me for me… self-doubters. A lot of women listen to guys talk or read what guys say online and think “Oh, so that’s what men want, let me act like that so I can get one.” That pick me shit is normal in the minds of insecure women, but it’s also become the new normal for males. I’m not talking about the toxic masculinity of “be tough don’t show feelings”. I’m talking about the confidence that comes with being born a male… This is a patriarchal world, male supremacy is real, yet you wouldn’t know it because today’s men are overly sensitive.

The Hate: That fine ass girl on IG wrote a caption about how you have to be paid to date her, so you clap back that she’s a piece of shit and secretly pray for her downfall… yet you still follow her.

The Sadness: Some girl tweeted that she needs a tall man with a beard. You don’t have that so it sticks in your head, and the next time you see a girl you could talk to, you think twice because what if that real life woman feels the same way as that random chick on twitter.  

The Real: No man should give a fuck about being a girl’s type, meeting her imaginary list of Must-Haves, or if she was aiming for another dude when she walked in the room. The proof is in the results, and regardless of if she wouldn’t have chosen you first, you ended up with her. That’s called victory. Men chose, women settle. That’s not always negative because 75% of the time women don’t make a first move and don’t really know what they’re looking for beyond a fantasy concept of “Jason Mamoa type with good credit but with a bad boy edge that will put me in my place“. Ladies, how many guys have surprised you and grew into your type? How many guys who were your type but missed out because they didn’t shoot their shot? Women are diverse in their attractions. Social media shit talking should never be taken at face value, the woman who wouldn’t follow you back online will often give you her number in real life. The problem is we live in that bubble where the internet is the reality that men and women bend to.  Seeing women sell themselves short because they have no self-esteem irritates me, but it also irks me that these young dudes are struggling to be men because they feel as if they aren’t good enough according to internet or Reality TV standards. Jealousy is the 2nd weakest emotion behind fear, and I think it’s time that I put you young brothers back on the, “I can have any woman I want” track because how can a Spartan Queen ever find a King in a world full of pussy ass men.

Mr. Fear of Commitment

Women see potential in a man from day one, it’s not a delusion, it’s an intuition. A guy who has a kind heart, wise, smart in an out of the box kind of way, and who is filled with original ideas glows when she’s dating because the average woman has wasted enough time with other men who don’t have those intangibles or skills. The problem becomes that once a man and woman date for a long period of time or enter an actual relationship and she realizes that his potential isn’t being lived up to. So what does she do? She tries to guide him, motivate him, or point out what he could be doing to fully realize this potential. Why? One part is that if she can make him the best version of himself, she benefits from having a fully realized partner, not a “fixer upper” boyfriend like most women have. The other part is selfless, she genuinely wants him to do well in life. What happens when a man doesn’t want to live up to his potential or ignores you because he wants to do things his own way? You two argue and eventually stop talking. 

Males are notoriously stubborn. As men we think we know everything and how to do everything. Right now there’s a guy trying to tell you how to run a business but he doesn’t even have 10k in his bank account. Right now there’s a man telling you he knows how to promote a brand better than you, but he doesn’t have any clients. Right now there is a man who has been working at the same miserable job who will catch an attitude if you suggest a way to move on to something new. Men don’t want women telling them what to do because most of them think women aren’t as smart, are too emotional, or only want to change them to be like another man she also knows. When a guy drags his feet, be it to get into a relationship, to go from being engaged to married, or any purgatory stage, it’s not because of lack of love for you, it’s due to fear. The fear that you will put the pressure of his own potential on him which he can never fully live up to in the way you imagine.

Women are planners, most of you ladies have lists, vision boards, weekly, monthly, even multi-year goals. When you put a man into your plans and assume that he is going to be making a certain amount, that he is going to see his own goals through, and that by a specific year you’ll be this perfect power couple, he pushes you away. It’s not that he doesn’t see your vision, it’s that your vision is too tightly laid out. You begin feeling like his mother or his boss. You don’t plan for how he’s feeling mentally or the way males commonly switch up directions and try new things on. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit to you as a romantic partner, he doesn’t want to commit to you as this smothering dictator who will be on his back if he doesn’t hit goals on time or stick to the plan. These men would rather sabotage a relationship with you, go find a basic woman, and figure his life out at his own pace. Meanwhile, you’re back crying thinking about how it could have been so great if only he saw in himself what you saw in him. Besides every great man isn’t always a great woman, sometimes it’s the most basic of bitches. Nevertheless, the road for any man will always benefit from having a woman that’s an equal not a liability.

Fellas, you don’t need a woman to mother you or plan out your future, but at the same time you can’t be afraid to collaborate, put your minds together, and work towards something that can benefit you. If you’re currently dealing with someone, ask yourself one simple question “does she better me”. I’m not asking if she fucks you good, cooks for you, listens to you spew your bullshit opinions, or if she’s loyal. Does she challenge you to be the best version of yourself? If the answer is “kinda” then she’s not the one. If the answer is “always” then why are you dragging your feet? She will change you, but change is good. She will hold you accountable, but accountability is mandatory. She will expect the most from you to the point where it annoys you, but isn’t that what you need?

Mr. Not Good Enough

Jeremy-Meeks-Iphone-case

Everywhere I go women tell me, “Boys act worse than girls these days,” and they are right. This is a nation of simps that get in their feelings anytime a girl shows other men attention, be they rappers, athletes, or even regular dudes that posses what they don’t have. Remember back when that mugshot of felon Jeremy Meeks went viral? Dudes were hurt! They said all kinds of ignorant things about “you pass up the good guys for the criminals” or “this is why you hoes single mothers, you choose guys that either end up in jail, dead, or hooked on drugs”. That anger had nothing to do with Meeks being a criminal; it was about women showing attention to another man who had traits they didn’t possess. Female Validation makes men lash out at women and other men, it makes men want to fight, and even rape because they hate not being in control, not being wanted, or not being seeing as special. 

Go online right now and I bet you’ll find a dude hating under a picture of a pretty girl, talking about her makeup or insinuating her body is fake. Go check out a post where a man tries to uplift a woman and the bitter simps are there to accuse the man of pandering for pussy. Let a woman tweet her opinion on something in terms of males, and you’ll see these clowns mob up, not to take shots at her words but to downgrade her looks, because how dare she have an opinion and not look like Beyonce. The question is why do men today CARE about empowering post, women wearing makeup, women wearing wigs on their timelines, and other males who get more pussy than they do? These types of men act catty as if they are the victim because their future is at stake. Imagine if all those women were shallow, if only Alpha males got ass, and if women were empowered across the board. They would be left single and lonely for life. Bitter males live to chop strong women down to size, to shame women into being Pick Mes, and to throw salt on rival males because that’s how they get chose in the end. Ladies think about those guys you dated who played the victim, talked about conspiracies 24-7, were jealous about who you talked to or followed online, and would take shots at the way you dressed. They did this for a reason. Lesser men survive because soft women see potential in them to be great. If the bar were to become “Get your shit together” rather than, “You had a hard life, I’ll help you” then that would eliminate half of these simps from ever getting girlfriends. Weak men guilt strong women into lowering standards, and it’s time for this shit to stop.

Male-supremacy brainwashing that blames hoe culture for the downfall of “The Nice Guys”. The thing is, are you really a nice guy or are you bitter? Are you really made at women for not wanting to split the bills, or are you made at yourself for not being able to not split a bill? Do you really think that guy is gay or are you intimidated by his looks? Do you really think that girl is a hoe, or does she remind you of a someone you wish you could have? Look around you. The men who have been rejected, who have been cheated on, and who can only feast on low hanging fruit, those are the ones on your timeline right now fighting to keep women in their place. The ones that can’t get women’s attention in real life, those are the ones that call out flaws when a woman is getting too much love online. It’s not about preference or opinion, it’s an anger built on frustration. What plus sized woman broke your heart? What darker skinned woman rejected you to the point where you have to take shot at complexions? What India Love looking chick refused to answer your DM? What popular girl chose your friend over you and made you hate so hard?

Confidence Building 101

Many cats are growing up without fathers, without big brothers, and they’re so soft that they don’t know how to react to lack of attention or rejection. I’m from a generation where it was cool for a girl to say “no,” because you just go after the next one until you get a yes. Real G’s don’t take it personal, they don’t sulk, they don’t slander women, and they don’t try to force the issue. These new cats should be out getting pussy or trying to find an ambitious girl they can build with… instead, they’re on the internet crying, criticizing makeup, dropping memes, and all these petty stuff that shows the world that men are becoming pussy.

Height Doesn’t Really Matter

Size-does-not-matter

I like when women praise tall dudes, just off the strength of being tall, it’s revenge for all the dudes that gas girls whose only positive is a big ass. Girls don’t want to hear about some Buttaface being bae because of a donky ass, and dudes don’t want to hear about some 6’4” dude who can’t even hoop being put on a pedestal. Now that we’re all even, let’s be honest. Some girls thirst for height, but it’s not a deal breaker in the way social media makes it out to be. It’s a want not a need. The only thing girls break quicker than their height requirement is their no carb diet. Ignore. That. Shit! If you look good, talk right, and act better, you will Kevin Hart that pussy, and that same Bird that was like, “I need Kobe tall,” changes her tune to, “Girl, tall niggas ain’t even all that, I need that dick thrown from a low center of gravity.” It’s all bullshit; people don’t know what they are truly attracted to until they are put to the test. Worry about being the best in the world at what you do. Perfect your game, your approach, and go get what you came for, because you never know what you’ll land when you try.

Women Upgrade Looks Based On Affection

Now-He-Can-Get-It

I read some OK Cupid poll that said that women ONLY find 80% of men unattractive. I can buy that because all dudes are funny looking, who besides Prince has been default pretty? Men are rugged, weird looking, they have facial blemishes they don’t care about hiding, they put on weight and don’t care, and most don’t even dress for their body types. So why do women still go for them? Because females aren’t as shallow as we think! Ask a woman what her face would look like. Now try to go find a man that has that face—you may find 3-5 people in this world who meets her standard. So why is the human race still reproducing in record numbers? Because women settle! Statistics don’t take into account what a girl wants versus what she will take.

The appearance bar is high, but females don’t mind lowering it if a man has other attributes that make her warm inside. I know a girl who got married to this Vince Herbert looking dude, and I told her he was a real cool guy and I see why she married him. Her insecurity wouldn’t let her take the personality compliment; she felt a need to say, “I like big teddy bears, that’s always been my type.” I could have said, bitch you used to suck my homie’s dick cus you said he looked like Omarion, don’t front, but I didn’t. Some women will make their current mate match up with what their type is after the fact, it’s nothing more than revisionist upgrading to make it seem as if she didn’t settle. The moment you win the affection of a woman, your wide ears, your hook nose, your misshapen head, or any funny looking feature grows on her, and you become better looking than the first time she laid eyes on you. I wrote about men experiencing the same “personality makes her prettier” transformation in Solving Single. This is not fake, it’s not being delusional, it’s human nature to see past the flaws of those you like and focus on their strong points.

twerk-selfie

Most of the guys reading this have been rejected online. You try to DM a chick who doesn’t write back, you Tinder bad chicks, and never get swiped back. I’m sure that makes you feel a certain way, but you have to look beyond the internet. I said it before, and I’ll keep saying it, women are much pickier online than in public due to the sheer number of thirst buckets responding to their best picture. Out in public those same “I woke up like this” girls may still be pretty, but the majority won’t garner the same attention as their online profile. Fuck inboxing, walk up and talk to a girl, make her laugh, get her number, and take her out. That same girl online would have ignored your advances, but in real life she’s not being bombarded with dick, so you got a shot. Of course, there will always be top shelf girls who are picky and should be meticulous because they can do better than your ass, but the other 90% will entertain you even if it’s due to boredom. Once you get a foot in, you can use your swag to kick the door open. A month later, she’s the one calling you because the time you’ve spent has made you appear more appealing than she initially thought you were.

Broke Men Still Get Pussy

We are living in the golden age of female independence. Those women that are 25-35 have come of age in a world where the nuclear family has crumbled. The father that was supposed to take care of the mother, either wasn’t around or didn’t have a pot to piss in. Those women that grew up with absentee dads knew that the only way to get the things they wanted was to work for it. Modern American women are the hardest working creatures on the planet, because they don’t expect to be taken care of by men the same way women who grew up in the 50’s did. That’s a positive thing, but being hardworking and educated doesn’t equate to being smarter than Dick. Dick may not have Bachelors from a University but he has a Masters when it comes to manipulating lonely women. I hear, “I never meet men on my financial level,” all the time because women who make good money, tend to still be attracted to men that remind them of guys from the old neighborhood. The sad thing is that those local dudes didn’t go out and conquer the world, they’re broke, living paycheck to paycheck, or underemployed. Their hustle is to hook up with a girl who doesn’t mind helping him out, and pull himself up by using her as an investor. Women complain about this after they get played, but when your type is “cute but hood” and you’re turned off by “squares with money” then you will always end up dating struggle dick.

It’s not that there aren’t quality men out here, it’s that most women are in a comfort zone of dating the same types. There are countless women that admit that they will never have a man with money, but they are okay with that because they have the mentality that “I can earn money, all I need is his love and support.” Think about that, women have become the men in relationships in the sense of bread winning, because women don’t believe they can find a man with equal finances who will love them in today’s world. These Fixer-Upper men, need her, so he will love her, and that’s what she settles for, dependency not partnership and standards.

“Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry…” – Gloria Steinem

A lot is made of the Hoes that are out here winning, but financially independent women could pull the same type of paid men as the gold diggers pull, in a non-user way if they tried. There are more men with wealth today than in any other time in history! However, females with their own shit often feel guilty about being shallow, as if they are going to get a gold star for ignoring the guy in the Benz and choosing the guy with the Bus pass. Lowering standards sucks for women, but it puts men who are struggling on equal footing with men who have money. As a man growing up in today’s world you may feel like a loser because you aren’t making a lot of money per hour, you never finished college, or some imaginary white Free Mason is holding you back. To see Fabolous step out in the all-white Rolls Royce or listen to Drake rap about living in a house so big he has to use a walkie-talkie just to get a beverage, will make you feel like you lost at life. I’m not going to get into a “nigga do better” sermon about money, but let’s assume you don’t even have 2k in the bank and are out of work or living paycheck to paycheck. You can still have the girl of your dreams. Money should never be the reason you don’t ask for a number or why you break up with a girl you love. So many women are heartbroken because men ghost them, not because they were bad girlfriends, but because the male is ashamed of his financial situation. Being a man means that you should be able to look out for those you love, but choosing that pride over a good woman won’t improve your fortunes.

What’s the reason men give for not wanting to date outside of Netflix nights or make a girl he really likes his girlfriend? Money! You don’t have enough money to date that woman you want or to get into the type of relationship she deserves. That’s a weak ass excuse. If you have $40 for a used X-Box game, then you aren’t so poor that you can’t date seriously. There are way more ladies than hoes walking this earth, and they will not hold a cheap date against you. The thing you guys need to focus on is the effort. Give a woman your time, energy, and attention and they will appreciate that much more than a $200 dinner. Stop being ashamed of your finances when you’re on your way up in life. Women will understand your situation so long as it is legit and you communicate it, instead of trying to front like you’re paid then lying to her the night of the date. You know you can’t afford that meal for two plus tip, so why even pick that restaurant? You know you won’t have money until Friday so why are you trying to make plans on Thursday, then hitting her with “oh, can we just kick it at my place instead?” That’s fraud shit! Financial insecurity goes back to over analyzing what women talk about and not paying attention to how they really live. A girl can sit and talk about how she needs five star everything and a man that drives a foreign whip no more than two years old, but I’m here to tell you that most of these sisters out here are far from shallow. Instagram “models” may seem unattainable, but they aren’t. I repeat, women tend to date the same kind of men they grew up liking, so even if you don’t have much money, she will still be open to dating you so long as you treat her with respect. Value isn’t about the dollar signs, it’s about showing her that you’re trying your best within your means to prove that she’s someone you want to know on a deeper level than just sex.

She Ain’t It By G.L. Lambert “A Must Read”

The counter arguments may be that you don’t have money to date a bunch of women and risk being played for the little you have. As a broke dude, you don’t have to be selective, because even if shorty is a hoe, what’s the most she can get from you, an appetizer from Cheesecake Factory? Stop being so paranoid and stop thinking women are going to look down on you! Those foundation face weave wranglers y’all dudes thirst after as unattainable are merely community pussy that talk a good game in hopes some simp will trick on them. If you can open your mouth and speak clear English, then you have just as good a shot at landing her as any other man walking this earth, no matter what team he plays for or how light his eyes are. I’m not going to lie, I would rather a woman date at the highest level, but I’m a realist and I know that a person’s character isn’t defined by their bank account or car model. Be confident in yourself, no matter what your Wells Fargo reads. Money comes and goes, but your personality is what’s going to keep that woman in love. The next time you’re out, don’t be afraid to talk to the prettiest girl in the room because you live with your mother or you’re in-between jobs. Don’t let your temporary financial situation ruin a shot at real love. Women are understanding, Hoes are underhanded, so the fact that she’s willing to give you a shot knowing your financial situation proves that she’s an honest woman worth sacrificing your last $20 to show a good time. Stop running from Queens because you don’t have the money of a King. If anything those hardworking women can help you, not take care of your broke ass, but help you get where you need to be.

Stop Being Afraid of Pussy

Drake and Rihanna at the Clippers game in LA

I know a lot of you guys won’t admit this, but you’re afraid of pussy. Not the physical task of thrusting inside a vagina, but the anxiety of talking to a girl that may not like you or falling for one that may game you. These fools say they’re emotionally unavailable, and women buy that shit, some Basicas even get turned on. We both know that you’re not emotionally unavailable, you’re just trying to play off the fact that you’re afraid girls won’t like the real you the longer they get to know you! Men aren’t allowed to talk about being nervous; we have to pretend we don’t get butterflies because we have to behave hard. Men can’t confess that they’re worried about liking a girl too much; we have to pretend as if we only want sex so we won’t get our feelings hurt if she doesn’t want more from us. Men can’t confess that they’re afraid to settle down because they might get cheated on. Men can’t confess that the relationships scare us, and that’s the problem. It’s time to man up and communicate your feelings. Your parents had a bad relationship, confront how that has made you see love. Your exes did you extremely dirty, open up about that pain. Maybe you’re afraid you will cheat again or that you won’t choose the right woman, don’t keep running, get to know the reason behind your fears! You don’t have to keep everything so bottled up. The definition of “manly” is facing that which fears you the most, so be a fucking man!

Read Next: Why Can’t Women Handle Dick?

Thanks for reading Are Today’s Men Scared of Pussy Part II: Rise of The Simp

Top Ten of The Decade

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Far From BasYc

Spoiler: The Links You click throughout this page can and will change your life…

For those of you that have met me in person, you already know that my favorite question to ask is, “What’s your favorite article?” I ask because I’m always curious to see what topics connect the most. One girl squeezed the hell out of my arm once and yelled, “Pussy Until Proven Wifey is my shit!” and went on to tell me how she didn’t think a lot of what I said applied until after she got her heart broken, and then I seemed like a prophet… One really dope story was an Australian woman who read “The Truth About Soul Mates” and broke off her relationship, only to end up marrying a man she would have missed out on if not for walking away at the right time.

This site has also led to some great friendships and connections over the years. I met a woman who ended up becoming one of my best friends after she brokered a TV deal for Ho Tactics. I’ve been invited to weddings where we toasted to this website and what it meant to the couple. I’ve been inspired by Spartans who now have little Spartans of their own. I’ve traveled the world preaching empowerment. Shit, I remember being in London where I met a stranger who after 20 minutes of chit chat screamed “Wait. Black Girls Are Easy? Why didn’t you say you wrote Black Girls Are Easy!” …I didn’t know if she was going to stab or hug me.

It’s been an amazing run and I literally have a story to tell based off nearly every entry because each one connects on a certain level depending on the person. For most “Are You Wifey or Pussy” was their first introduction to this site, for others “Are Today’s Men Scared of Pussy” and “Why Can’t Women Handle Dick,” led them here. “Stop Being The Bottom Bitch” was the first one that went viral while “Stop Being The Right Man For The Wrong Woman” had men finally nodding along in agreement. From Long Distance Relationships, to The Law of Attraction, even how to snatch another girl’s man…there’s so much I’ve touched on, some topics were so popular that I wrote about them a few times or updated my old advice based on recent results. You can get lost trying to go back and dig through the crates, so I thought that I would do my personal Top Ten with links to my past favorites and why I chose them:

10) Why Women Should Date Multiple Men

Every single woman reading this who is actively ready to date, should be dating at least two men at a time. I know I know… you don’t have the energy for that, you don’t have that many options, blah blah fucking blah. This article was the first time I touched on this topic because I recognized early in the game that women were dating ass backwards. As men, we date around and don’t feel guilty. It’s the fucking dating stage or “talking stage” as the basica’s say, why are you being loyal? “A man won’t want a woman that’s out there dealing with other guys” Sis, he’s not your fucking man so why do you care? Dating doesn’t mean sex, it doesn’t mean you spend 24 hours with him. To date multiple men is as easy as going out with Paul on Friday and Nick on Saturday. Two fucking days of the week. You can’t do that? You think you’re going to burn in hell or break down in tears when a man asks “so who else do you talk to”? Jeez. The women who have used this advice have been plentiful and NONE of them have come back complaining, if anything they come back with thanks and pictures of a wedding ring. Read it, and master it ==== CLICK HERE TO READ.

9) How To Upgrade A Situationship

Too many of you settle for come over and chill, you let men dictate the pace, and you even lie to yourself and say “I don’t want anything serious either” until a few months of fucking and bonding makes you run to me with “how do I reset the rules, I want a real relationship now” This oldie but goodie stands the test of time. If you’re in a situationship, friends with benefit relationship, or stuck in relationship purgatory, I recommend you read it ASAP ==== Click Here To Read

8) You’re Going To Be Cheated On

Men cheat…a lot. 90% of you in a relationship now have been cheated on and those of you in new relationships will most likely be cheated on because we as men love one thing above sports or video games– new pussy. Being in love won’t make a man stay faithful, fucking him every day won’t make him stay faithful, sucking the soul out his body with bomb head won’t make him stay faithful. Males are horrible at temptation, she doesn’t even have to be that pretty, she just has to know how to bait us the right way. This article is for women and men alike, as it’s not a guarantee that a man will cheat nor is it a reflection of the woman if he does. I know it’s scary and it’s triggering, but trust issues or not, read it and be prepared ==== Click Here To Read

7) Why Won’t He Let Go When He Doesn’t Want You

In the years I’ve been doing this site one fact stands out. Women don’t understand male logic. The way men think is so foreign. Guys chase women they don’t want. They make promises they never intend on keeping. They act like sex isn’t everything then it becomes the thing that ruins the relationship. Guys lie to women a lot, they mislead, embellish, and guilt women when they get near the truth. I break the “guy code” a lot. What do men think? They don’t give a fuck because a Basica who wants to give him pussy based on lies and manipulation will give him pussy. Regardless, I wrote this to help those women who are blind and ignorant to the bullshit of men, enjoy ==== Click Here To Read.

6) Educated Fool:

I’m proud to say that this isn’t a website where ratchets go to learn to be more ratchet, and that most of my demographic are college educated women who have their own. This article is my kick in the ass to women who are so smart but act so damn dumb when it comes to seeing through male bullshit. Does degrees won’t keep you warm, but this article will ====  CLICK TO READ

5) How To Build Your Roster

I wrote so Lori Harvey could run! The Sequel to Women Need To Date Multiple Men is all about how to date and audition men without being caught up. This is a favorite of many women and has lead to the most marriages as women who know how to hustle males and make them chase always win out. If you have the Spartan heart and are sick of dating one at a time, this is your stop ==== Click Here To Read.

4) Spoiler Alert He Doesn’t Want You:

He says he loves you. He says he’s fighting for your “relationship”. He says he’s going to be more consistent. He fucks you like that dick is yours. Give it a few weeks or a few months and he’ll be on to the next like you never existed. Why do men do that? Did his feelings die out? Did he never have them to begin with? Why go through all of that trouble and play all those games? Welcome to the world of dating, beloved. Most men don’t like you, let alone love you. If you’re ready for the hard truth read this legendary entry that hurt many feelings but birthed meany Spartans ==== Click Here To Read.

3) Why Are Black Women So Difficult

Before the site’s name change I was always asked, “Why did you call it Black Girls Are Easy?” And my smart ass, sick of answering that question response was, “Because you wouldn’t have clicked the link if I called it, Black women are great.” But the true definition comes in the form of one of my all-time favs. So read this, and never ever fix your mouth to ask me what the meaning of the title is again. CLICK TO READ

2) Weak Bitch Ways:

If you want to point to one post that epitomizes Spartanhood, it’s not “Duh Spartan!” It’s Weak Bitch Ways, because it gives you direct examples of what really stands in your way—your mindset. A weak and timid psyche that leads to indecisive and exploiting behavior. A man can’t game a woman that’s thinking straight, but he can work a number on a woman that’s confused, lonely, and full of a want to be loved. CLICK TO READ

1) Ghosting, Guilting, and other Mind Games – How To Guard Against Gaslighting

Gaslighting is one of those words that gain popularity in the past five years, but it’s been around forever. Most of you are confused and what a man wants and the rest of you are afraid to walk away when he keeps pushing you away and pulling you back. I try not to get too clinical as I want this site to be something anyone can read no matter if you’re 16 or 56, but this was one instance where I was so pissed at the female abuse that I let the machine gun spray. This is the starting point for any woman that feels lost or confused, it’s not you love, it’s probably him ==== Click To Read

Are You Ready To Make This Decade A Spartan Decade?

The Books…

Men Don’t Love Women Like You:

This book is mandatory and certain parts should be highlighted and read weekly. I talk to so many women and have to say “You know that’s all in MDLWLY” and they’re like… “oh”. That book will literally give you what you’re willing to put in. If you skim it or half read it, then it’s just another book on the shelf. BUT if you read it, understand it, and test it out for yourself with the confidence described then you will win. It’s won awards, it’s gotten me in rooms with famous people who I had no idea even needed relationship advice, and most importantly it’s given men and women a Blueprint to take back their power… Click Here To Read

…Ho Tactics:

Ho Tactics: How To MindFuck… is truly “The Secret” of relationship books and has given way to real breakthrough moments where women have regained their confidence in a practical way that they couldn’t with Solving Single. I set out to make an Ikea like easy to follow guide, and those that had the courage to follow the steps, have done it! It really is unlike anything I had written before. At first the title threw people off as if I was going against my Girl Power beliefs, but for any woman that’s read it, Ho Tactics has nothing to do with prostituting yourself out, but reaffirming how to mentally take control over any situation.

I exposed the game and how easy it is for any woman to master. Men use Dick Tactics every day to run game, I figured it was time to even up the playing field, so even the women with the lowest self esteem could get their WORTH! From the response—mission accomplished. CLICK TO READ

Honorable mention: Solving Single, my first book is the best of this blog, well the first five years of it, and is a very easy read that introduces you to the first stage of the Spartan Mindset.

Also big shout out to all the guest writers over the years Bmore Banner, Derrick Jaxn, Adara, Nefarious Bliss, and Wisdom Is Misery…

Most importantly thank YOU for all the love and support! Make sure to Tweet me your personal favorite and the reason why.

keep-kalm-spartan

Thanks for reading Top Ten of The Decade

You Can’t Fix A Man

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Far From BasYc

Behind every great man is a great woman, not an enabler, not a bottom bitch, and not Mommy #2. But most girls don’t know the difference. There are women that swear they’re being supportive by trying to assist a man with his problems, show him how to plan better, help him get on his feet, or try to focus him on a realistic goal. But who the hell asked for your help? Yes, a woman can help make a man better, but she can’t change him. Being loved makes everyone better, be it from a parent, a friend, a spouse, or a child, but it won’t transform a loser into a winner or a toxic asshole into a stand up person. A man must want to change, desire to grow, and have the courage to stop doing little boy shit and execute his goals.

“A man isn’t his potential, he is his everyday actions. Stop getting caught up in the fantasy of what he could be and recognize what he’s showing you…” -G.L. Lambert

Paying his bills, doing his resume, sucking his dick while he plays XBOX, rolling his weed, that’s what basic bitches call supporting a man. You just met a man, you have no vested interest in his life, yet your focus shifts to trying to make him “a better man” instead of seeing if he’s the RIGHT man for you. These type of girls aren’t dating like Spartans, seeing if a man is worthy of being her partner, they’re trying to make any dude fit because they just want a bae. That’s not true, I saw something in him, and a good woman is supposed to inspire her man to do better. YAWN! That’s not your man, that’s a tinder dick. That’s not your partner, that’s your project. He’s looking for pussy, and you’re looking for a ring… and you don’t even care if you have to put the money in his account so long as you get a proposal. Supportive turns into exploitative because what’s actually at work isn’t you being charitable. Where does he work? How does he treat you? What is his 2 year goal? What sacrifices has he made for you? It’s not good enough for him to be “cool, funny, and nice”. You can’t build an empire with potential and compatible horoscopes, Basica!

A girl will swear by “I see his potential” based off how a guy tells a joke and how deep he throws a dick. You don’t see any fucking potential; you see a piece of clay you can mold into a husband. You’re trying to turn a layabout into a do something, you can show off on IG. You’re trying to turn a Nike type into a Margiela man you can take home to your mother. You’re trying to take a man with a GED, become his angel investor, and bring him up to your level so you can parade him in front of your friends. You’re sick of trying to find a boyfriend at your level, so you create one, oblivious to the fact that you’re setting yourself up for failure. You weren’t put on this earth to pay for your own vacations and engagement ring and pretend your half-ass boyfriend spoils you. You weren’t put on this earth to keep being on and off with a man who won’t stop disrespecting you. You weren’t put on this earth to build a bear a man who doesn’t even care enough to put in the work himself…

You Can’t Fix A Man

spoil-him-with-pussyWomen are nurturers, and that isn’t a negative, but some have the naive habit of trying to save men that don’t need their saving. You meet a man that’s handsome, charismatic, but he’s broke or dealing with other demons, drug abuse, alcohol dependency, baby mama drama, etc… so what do you do? You can’t leave a man that has the physical and personality that you’ve been waiting for because he has things he needs to work on. You take him home as if he’s some wounded bird that fell in your backyard, and you begin to “fix him.” You can’t make a D-boy want to stop selling drugs, you can’t make a playboy want to stop chasing pussy, you can’t make a dude that’s happy playing FIFA online and working a low paying job, become a CEO. In addition to those types, there’s a Broken Wing hustle that Narcissistic men use to manipulate women. Here you are looking for love, and he’s there to shower you with compliments, give you a sad story about his past, and rush through the getting to know you stage as fast as he can so you can’t expose his Dick Tactics. “It was like we knew each other for years,” stop being gullible! You’re thirstier than Anna from Frozen, and he’s bullied his way into your heart by making you skip the vetting process of dating over several weeks.

I’ve talked to so many women who get excited that they found some random ass boyfriend after a week. Then a month later his true colors show and instead of running away, they run toward him trying to repair his issues because they don’t want to let go of that potential he showed the first few weeks. No matter if he’s doing it on purpose or a man that’s genuinely needy, you need to be smart instead of soft. This isn’t a new epidemic. Half of you reading this have fathers who you love, but who you know aren’t shit, yet your mothers to this day, still try to fix his bum ass. You say things like, “I’ll never let a man do me like my father did my mother,” but in the end you are attracted to those same type of stray dogs. By trying to make a man different from your father, you end up trying to overcompensate in a relationship as if you can WILL a man to be great. It’s time someone was real with you… Men have to find their own path to manhood, so get your titty out of their mouths!

don-draper-swagLet’s talk about the ego you pretend you don’t have. Your ego loves fixer uppers. Your ego wants to look back two years from now at your boyfriend like the Property Brothers look back at a house they just flipped. You took broke ass Dante, inspired him with your positivity, upgraded him with your ideas, and now he’s fielding offers from fortune 500 companies. Your ego cums so hard at the thought that you are such a great woman that you can transform a man from coal into a diamond. You desperately want to be loved and appreciated for your Fix-A-Man genius because it validates you. All he needs is a woman that understands him and knows how to be tough *paints nails*. Delusion is a hell of a drug! That’s your ego at work again, pretending you have the blueprint on how to make a man act better, do better, and love you forever. Your weak ass blueprint is as good as toilet paper, because your ideas are based off TV, Movies, or bottom bitches in your own family who held down men who ended up being horrible husbands or fathers. The reality is a Carrie Bradshaw would never really fix a Mr. Big. No amount of Good Woman Ferry Dust & Dick Sucks, can upgrade an ain’t shit dude! I loved the show Mad Men because it analyzed Don Draper, the epitome of a broken male, and how all these women came in his life thinking they had the solution to put Don back together. In the end he kept relapsing because it was never about a woman making him be a man, it was about him finding his own path to manhood.

Fixer Upper Vs Already Built Men

I often get emails where women write, “I don’t feel like I have anything to offer a man right now.” Some women have to feel as if they contribute something tangible and irreplaceable to a relationship or a man won’t think she’s special. This could be money, a home, or emotional support. It doesn’t matter that their logic falls apart when you realize that smart and wealthy men don’t care what you bring to the table if you’re unique in personality. Men aren’t walking away from a bomb ass women because she didn’t own a crib or a Master’s Degree– EVER. Your paranoia doesn’t come from the opposite sex; it comes from your own self-doubt: Why would any man want me when I don’t have my life together? With that in mind you self-limit the men you attract. You could literally have the type of man you want, but your own mind stands in your way because you don’t think what you have in terms of career, money, education, are at the level where you can be valuable to a successful man. Even if you’re a woman that has her shit together, you may still feel inadequate around a man that’s doing it big, because you have insecurities that you refuse to address. Therefore, you date down, not for the same shallow reasons a man does, but for emotional reasons. In the arms of a man that’s not doing better, you find that appreciation you’ve been chasing.

Fixer Upper: He needs me emotionally; I’m his confidant and therapist.

Already Built: He doesn’t need my advice or shoulder to cry on, he’s done fine by himself.

Fixer Upper: He depends on me to hold him down; I’m an important part of his life.

Already Built: He’s self-sufficient with or without me.

Be honest, do you go for Already Built or Fixer Upper? The Fixer upper man is the perfect counter to the cockiness or the intimidation of a man that is already successful. Bring a man you’re comfortable with up to your level, and since you had a hand in upgrading him, he’ll appreciate you, right? Wrong! “And when he gets on he’s going to leave you for a white girl,” was so impactful not because it’s a funny punchline, but because behind all humor is the sting of honesty. No real man wants a handout; they want to earn their spot. When you buy a man his first suit, drive him to an interview, and then help him open that first bank account to deposit his first paycheck, you are thinking like “Mom.” Meaning like a mother you expect to be loved for what you do, but men aren’t little boys, they may take your help and say they appreciate it, but it’s emasculating. His pride is being shrunk, and as soon as he is on his feet, he will take the first opportunity to show you that you aren’t the cause of his success, he is.

Know why so many men replace their Ride Or Die with a new hoe that won’t even give him a bite of his sandwich? Because he resents you. On the other hand she doesn’t know that he was once down and out, she only sees him as this “self made man”. You were there to hear about his fears and anxieties; he doesn’t want you around to remind him about his soft side. He’s going to trade you in for someone that only knows the new man you helped him become, not the old broken one. He’ll call you up a year later, talking about how he misses you, and your ego will once again cause you to cream, but he’s using you like a Bottom Bitch. He’ll apologize, let you mother him back up, and once his ego is repaired, he’s off again to find a woman he can stunt on. The next thing you know he’s engaged to someone new and you’re crying your eyes out about “that’s not fair, I did all this stuff for him!” Fuck your fair. No one told you to save him and no one promised you a happy ending!

I want to talk to men and women today, because as men we should be forced to prove our manhood, not suck on some Bottom Bitch’s tit until we’re ready to attack the world. Honestly, with the current generation coming of age, I’m actually seeing men who don’t know how to be men because these thirsty Ms. Fix-It chicks are picking up where mommy left off, and as a result, guys are becoming spoiled little bitches. Today’s men don’t treat women like Queens, because they don’t know how to be Kings. They wait around for women to do things for them, instead of taking life by the fucking throat. They wait around for minimum wage laws to past, so they can afford PS4 games and exotic weed, instead of aiming for that Boss title and corner office. These dudes want sympathy and handouts, and these girls are there to give it to them because they want love and affection. Both sexes have become weak as fuck, and I’m sick of seeing it. I’m going to be like that Uncle that punches you in the arm and says, “Stop crying for your Mother, pussy,” because you dudes need to take life into your own hands starting today. At the same time, I’m imploring women to stop trying to play dress up with these grown ass men as if they’re Ken dolls. You’re no longer helping, you’re hurting.

A Man Has To Find His Own Ambition

men-no-ambitionLadies: Your job is not to be a guidance counselor in a relationship. If you’re dealing with a guy who took a year off college that turned into three years or a man that was laid off and he can’t get into first gear to restart his professional life, there is only three thing you need to do. Ask him what his plans are, what his passions are, and how he plans to achieve HIS goals. If he gives you an answer that you don’t like or is on the fence, it is not your job to figure it out for him. I remember this girl kept pushing her boyfriend to go work with her father, “He will open up a spot for you making X-amount a year.” All he asked her to do was to help him write a cover letter and update his resume. Her Wonder Woman ass knew his lack of experience wasn’t going to get him a good paying job, so she tried to force a new career on him that would earn what she needed him to be earning. He broke up with her, because the issue of “You wouldn’t have money problems if you would have listened to me and took my father’s help,” would not die. As a woman who had her shit together, she didn’t understand the mentality of a man who was trying to figure out his life, not just money wise, but what his life was going to be.

Not all, but many females don’t understand the process of finding yourself. Go to school, pick a job based on what the pay will be, go to college or trade school, go get that job, be happy—the end. It’s not that simple for most males. Men are explorers by nature, they soul search, some a little too long, but it’s what they do or depression sets in no matter what job they are working. The girl who sent me that email was very defensive because she felt that she was being a good girlfriend, “It’s a job that can lead into a career, who wouldn’t take that?” A lot of people don’t want just any job even if it is easy work, they want to feel completed, not wake up miserable working for someone’s father. Ambition can’t be suggested, it’s something that sparks inside a person. To lead a man down any road just so he can earn a steady paycheck, become stable, and buy you a ring is not selfish in a good way, it’s selfish in a dangerous way.

Alternatively, the solution isn’t to let a man figure his life out while you pay the bills and sacrifice a normal relationship where you don’t go out on real dates because his money is funny. You’re not an investor you’re a girlfriend. If this dude is blowing his SSI check, has gone through his court settlement money from when he was a teen, or just doesn’t have a good paying job—you lift his spirits, but you don’t pour money into him. Even if he’s trying to pursue a graduate degree, you don’t use his scholastic ambitions as an excuse to be the Sallie Mae that he doesn’t have to pay back. You have to draw the line at how much you help, or a person will not grow!

Is it okay for men to ask their women for money in a pinch? Of course, you’re a team and he should do the same for you. However, you shouldn’t bail him out more than two times. What is his end goal? If he’s always going to be late with his car note, then why isn’t he trying to make more money? If he’s always going to be $100 short on a bill, then why isn’t his life consumed with getting out of that struggle? Handouts don’t create CEOs they create bums! Again, this is girlfriend talk, not “we’ve been dating for three months and I love him,” Basica talk. Some of you have paid bills, bought iPhones, and co-signed loans and leases for men you’ve only known for a matter of weeks because you can’t say “no” to dick.

It’s easy to play women, because so many women think supporting a man will make him love them. Stop. Being. Thirsty. Even though you shouldn’t force him to do what you want him to do, you can’t ignore his lack of ambition. Again, inquire about his goals, give suggestions, but if more than a month passes and he hasn’t moved forward and taken any action, you need to leave. A man who gets comfortable under a woman is like a man that lives in his mother’s basement, he won’t leave so long as he’s being enabled. If you bitch long enough he’ll take some job just to shut you up. If you mother him long enough he’ll stay on the couch and just come up with get rich quick schemes that he’s “a few months away from launching.” Neither road leads to happiness. Love a man, but never allow yourself to become his safety net.

fifa-assFellas: Get your shit together. If you don’t know where you want to go in life, then that’s something you should be worrying about before you take your last $20 to the club to pick up thotties. If college isn’t for you, then use your fucking brain to figure out how you’re going to make up the difference in pay by not having a degree. T-Shirt lines are an oversaturated market, so is that a real vision or are you just trying to make a quick dollar? Record labels aren’t giving out 1998, hit the lotto type record deals, so are you passionate about that grind or just looking for some imaginary deal you think will solve your problems? Even if your cousin has the hook up at the Post Office, that shit is no better than Burger King if you don’t really want to do that job. Get rich quick schemes aren’t goals, Zuckerberg didn’t create Facebook to sell advertising; it evolved into that from his creative dream. Don’t let rap song bragging, athlete contracts, and who the pretty Hoes are fucking with send you into a depression where you end up bitter and defeated to the point where you just make excuses instead of moves. The first rule of being a real man is that you don’t blame anyone for your position in life. Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda ass dudes are a dime a dozen. I don’t give a fuck what Bernie Sanders is saying. You’re not supposed to be given anything in life; you take that shit by being the best!

Bro! Stop selling these women on this idea that you got held back from being great so they can have sympathy, give you pussy, and become your new mother. Dumb chicks will always be there to cheer on mediocre men because those men feed their insecurities. Do you want to end up just another bum ass dude with an overbearing bottom bitch for a woman, who has to smoke and drink to escape the reality that you didn’t go out and make a better life for yourself knowing that you had the intelligence to do so if you wanted? No one is holding you back, and no one needs to hold you down. Think about what you really want out of life besides money. Then ask yourself why you’re only thinking about it and not going for it.

A Man Has To Find His Own Maturity

overbearingLadies: Stop falling for these Mama’s boys then trying to change them. He relies on his mother for everything, he can’t do anything without his friends, his sister acts as if she’s his girlfriend… Girls complain about this type of man, yet love trying to rehabilitate them. You know why you’re fighting to keep a man that’s a Mama’s boy or a Sheep? Mama’s boys make the perfect obedient boyfriend because Mama taught him how to be the man she always wished she had. You don’t want to fix him; you want to exploit that Man-Boy side of him. A Man-Boy is that guy who is raised by women to take the place of the father who wasn’t around. The mother, aunt, or sister have breed this Man-Boy to take care of them, now here you are trying to come in with the title of girlfriend and take their slave away. In order for you to be his new mother, you have to rip him from the bosom of his old one. Good Luck with that. A man shouldn’t be asked to choose a girlfriend over his mother, because they shouldn’t be in the same lane. If you’re agitated or having a cold war with his family, it’s not your job to make ultimatums, it’s his job to separate family from his love life on his own. The love he has for his family will always be greater than he has for you; however, he has to recognize that his job isn’t to be the head of the household; it’s to go out and create his own household. If he’s too brainwashed to put that into perspective or too pussy to stand up to his family members who think you’re trying to change him, then that’s not the man for you. Don’t waste more time loving a man that’s already married to his mother.

mamas-boyFellas: Your mother will always be the love of your life, that’s an unconditional bond, but for Mama Payne’s sake, leave the fucking nest both literally and figuratively. You will always need your mother, but you know longer need to be mothered. If your mother needs help, you help her, if she wants to spend time with you, spend time with her, but she cannot be the driving force in your romantic life. Her opinion on who you date, fall in love with, or marry doesn’t matter after a certain age. “I got a feeling… she looks sneaky… I just don’t like the looks of her,” what the fuck does that tell you? That your mother or your sister or whoever the unapproving family member is, has a bias. Unless your girlfriend called your family member out their name, came in the house acting disrespectful, or they have inside dirt on your girl, then their opinions are useless. Furthermore, don’t sit on the sideline like a simp and let your family and your girl battle it out because you don’t want to choose sides. Be a fucking man and take a stand. You know how your family is, their good and bad qualities, so if you see them bullying that girl you are falling in love with, stand up for her even if they call you a sellout. No matter how old a woman is, they can still be petty. Grandmothers still have beef with daughter-in-laws twenty years later based off wedding seating. So don’t think that just because she pushed you from her vagina she has the right to push the woman you love out of your life. Be the man she raised you to be, not the pussy you came out of.

A Man Has To Find His Own Game Changer

dream-Tina-TurnupLadies: Treating a man like a husband will not make him see you as a wife. Mistake number one is when a girl tries to smother a man with all these domestic goddess tricks in order to speed up a commitment, an engagement, or a marriage. Fix-A-Dick logic: All a man needs to see is that you’re loyal, responsible, and loving and he’ll leave all his hoes. Sure, and all Meek Mill needed was another week to write his diss and he would have won… you’re in fantasy land! These type of women love playing house, so they assume that men too have that same end goal of, “let’s have a happy life where you come home, I cook, we eat and talk, and then cuddle—repeat 7 days a week.” Men don’t fantasize about that shit; they fantasize about being the only man in a threesome. You don’t understand how men think, you just understand how you think, in your mind, all you need is someone to support your dreams plus show you consistent love, and you would drop all other men for him. Love is not enough for guys because men attain love from women easily.

The goal for men  isn’t to get married as fast as you can and be validated by a woman’s love, the male goal is to play and experience life before he dies or gets too old. Which means that even when presented with a beautiful and selfless woman, he will keep shooting his shot. It’s not about finding Mrs. Right, it’s about sampling all the Mrs. Right until one pops up that represents something that he can’t pass up. See, now you’re thinking, “I want to be that last one! That one he can’t pass up!” But you don’t decide that for him—he does. This is where 90% of you are fucking up at right now, your ego tells you that you are the best woman ever, but your results haven’t proven that. In response, you overcompensate to get those results you think a great woman such as yourself should be getting. You put all this energy into making a man happy and then you’re shocked when he doesn’t want to hang out with you on the weekends. You learn new dick sucking techniques and study porn so you can prove that he’ll never get bored with you in the bedroom and then you’re shocked when he’s caught flirting with some other girl. No matter if you’re at the dating stage or if you’re in a relationship, a man doesn’t change for a woman; he changes for himself based on an internal epiphany that his mission is complete. You can’t force love or commitment by spoiling a man emotionally or sexually.

 “What age do guys get their shit together? What do I have to do to make him realize I’m not going to wait forever for him to grow up? What else can I do to make him want me the way he’s supposed to want me?” There is no age that makes a man slow down, there is no ultimatum that will make a man settle down, and there is no way to make a man want you above any other woman. That’s not the answer you want, you want the “It’s all a part of God’s plan,” excuse that justifies you hanging on emotionally for him to come back to you. You want to use the “Make him wise up by leaving his ass” gimmick because people claim that men always come back. Those are half-truths people tell you to create hope. You don’t need hope; you need a reality check so you can stop wasting your time on men who don’t see you as a Game Changer.

This isn’t about what you lack, it’s about what he’s searching for. There is no shame in not being what a man is searching for, because most likely, despite your attraction to him, he is not what you’re searching for at the end of the day. There is shame, however, in allowing yourself to be used as a placeholder while a man figures out who he actually wants. How long do you need to hang around and over-love a person that doesn’t reciprocate? How much longer will you stay in a relationship with a man that acts as if you’re a chore as opposed to his soulmate? Go ahead and date that man who doesn’t want “anything serious” and think you can change him with your magic pussy. Go ahead, stay in that relationship, and think you can change him with your no pressure attitude. Walking on eggshells around a man and trying to fit into what he wants won’t make him love you; it’ll make him appreciate the next bitch even more. The next girl will pop up with her Spartan attitude, her no fucks given views on his emo feelings, and her “you got to earn this pussy” rules, and the man who you bent over backwards for will worship at her feet. Not because she was a better woman than you were, but because he had to experience what he didn’t want in terms of a woman, to understand what he couldn’t live without in a woman. It will always be his choice, but it starts with a woman’s choice not to be typical in how she caters to a man. All of these girls swear they’re different, but few prove it with actions that set them apart from the generic “love to get love” females.

love-comparisonFellas:  It’s time to stop running from your emotions and start embracing them. There is no such thing as being emotionally unavailable; you just don’t want to open up because you’re afraid of being judged. Behind every man that won’t settle down, is a scared little boy that wants nothing more than to settle down. But when you’ve been in the game for so long or had your heartbroken it’s hard to open back up again. These girls don’t understand the complexity of male emotions, most see you as just an object to say, “Look I got a man!” You don’t want to be an accessory, you want to be understood, but finding a woman that gets that is hard. You have to be guarded because every time you open up, they don’t like what they see. These girls are quick to proclaim, “This isn’t love, that’s not love, if you love me you wouldn’t act like this…” never realizing that their entire concept of love is based on movie fiction and exaggerated stories. You know what love is for real, while they only know love as that honeymoon period or short ass one-year relationship with some guy they barely knew. You know the difference between love and in love, but they see it all the same. How can you be honest with a woman who wants that fantasy? You can’t, but you’re willing to play along and see if she’s worth your real love. However, you have to look at the pool of women you have to choose from and it’s depressing! I’m not talking about the ratchets making Vine vids to Freak Hoe; I’m talking about these normal everyday women with baggage that they don’t even bother to check at the door. You don’t need another mother, you don’t need some overbearing basic bitch who wants to lay up under you every night, and you definitely don’t need some girl that’s going to be hot and cold with you because she sees her father in you.

these-hoes-for-everybodyMost men keep moving until they find something different, but that woman never comes. You fuck a bitch, try to give her a chance to earn your trust so you can open up and share what’s going on in your head, but the girls you meet despite claiming “I’m not like the rest” all act the same. Blowing up your phone because she’s paranoid. Starting passive aggressive arguments because you’re not moving at the pace she wants to move. Trying to enforce her friends or mother’s opinions of where your relationship should be headed. Some even try to use jealousy to get you to act right, not because you’re acting wrong, but because you’re not acting the way she thinks “a man in love” should act according to some basic ass relationship book she’s reading that month. All of these pretty women who start off great, all reveal themselves as either crazy or basic as fuck, and that’s why you don’t want to give out a title just so you can get some pussy. You have to stay guarded because you know that even though you have love for her, you don’t love her enough to give her all of you. The truth hurts, and if you opened your mouth and answered her dumb ass, “So where is this headed,” question you would ruin her because the answer is, nowhere! The girl you’re with is okay, but not exceptional. We as men want exceptional, not ordinary and the mindset and personality of most women are more bland than a white person’s potato salad.

I get why you’re emotionally hesitant. You’re not some “ain’t shit” guy or some master manipulator; you’re just not impressed. That dude you once were who just wanted to put his dick in all the pretty pussy is ready to retire. Getting sex is easy these days, all you got to do is swipe on an app and be yourself, no game needed because most of these girls are desperate. You’ll play along for a nut, but you’re bored with these Thots and title chasers. You’re done having repetitive conversations with uncharismatic birds, and are mentally ready to choose the ONE who sets herself apart. Here’s where most men will fuck up. You can’t be so soured by corny chicks, that you don’t recognize the great ones. A guy I give email advice to once asked me, “When do you know that she’s the one,” you don’t know, you take a risk based on what she’s shown you so far. There is a big difference when it comes to Pussy type and Wifey types. You automatically feel a rush when a girl is different, but you hesitate because you’ve had so many false alarms. You can’t freeze up! If you meet a woman that surprises you at each turn and goes left where other chicks go right, don’t be afraid. If you meet a woman that takes your best shot in terms of being moody or trying to distance yourself, and she doesn’t kiss your ass or go crazy, but remains poised, you know that’s unique. If you meet a woman that doesn’t let you run over her, and loves herself more than you, that’s a warrior that’s worthy of your last name. If you meet a woman that tells you the truth as opposed to what you want to hear so you won’t break up with her lonely ass, then you have to respect what the universe has dropped in your lap—a fucking unicorn.

perfect-for-youSome men run from rare women because they are so different that it’s scary. She’s too good to be true, so you panic and push her away, or you self-sabotage so you don’t risk a letdown. It’s time to stop that punk ass little boy behavior. You can doubt your heart, you can doubt your brain, but when both your brain and heart are signaling to you that she’s not from this Earth, then you lock that bitch down immediately. Spartan women don’t grow on trees and you’re too old to be entertaining these dry ass placeholders, so risk it! There will always be hiccups, differences in opinions, and other people that try to tear you apart, but through all those tests, she will past, and that’s what makes her the ONE. Be man enough to risk heartbreak for a woman that shows you from the first date to the first mistake, that she is exceptionally special. Be smart enough not to rush in, but don’t be dumb enough to think a girl like that is going to wait around forever. Working on yourself isn’t a good excuse to run away, it’s a safe excuse to stay comfortable because you don’t want to choose wrong. Recognize when you’re blessed with the perfect woman and stop letting your fear of being hurt keep you from capturing your Queen.

For The Ladies: Learn To Date Like A Spartan & Reset Your Relationship Like A Queen- Click Here

For The Men Click Here To Learn How To GROW YOURSELF & Find Love

Thanks for reading You Can’t Fix A Man

Black Girls Are Easy: Episode 1 – How To Expose Male Players


Black Girls Are Easy: Episode 2 – How To Become More Confident

Black Girls Are Easy: Episode 3 – How To Date Multiple People & Win

Women Need To Date Multiple Men

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Far From BasYc

Basica 1: Dates one man at a time because she doesn’t have the “energy” to meet new men… in reality she’s not too busy she’s just scared.

Basica 2: Thinks dating means “fucking” and treats the talking stage like it’s a real relationships because society has brainwashed her to be overly loyal.

Basica 3: Understands the concept of having options, but has low self-esteem or is extremely introverted, so she uses the excuse that she simply can’t find more than one man to date at a time.

All these Basicas will end up losing at love repeatedly until they wake up. How do I know? Because I’ve had advice sessions where I’ve seen these kinds of women go from making excuses as to why they don’t date multiple men, to seeing them Spartan Up and thank me for helping them open their eyes to a new way of living. Every woman should be playing the field, men do it by default, but women don’t. Instead they date one at a time and end up in these toxic relationships with men who know they have “you need me” leverage. Think about The Male Power Dynamic. The book of Asshole teaches males that a woman will put up with whatever you throw at her if she has no one else to fall back on. Handsome guys, average guys, even ugly ones, are quick to remind a girl that there are other fish in the sea and that nothing about her can’t be replaced. All the stuff you say is special about you, a man will say grows on trees or will claim his last woman did better. Using this Ike Turner type mindfuck trick, dudes convince women that they can’t do better, won’t do better, and should be thankful she found a great man like him. The result is that a woman stays with a man she could do better than, feeding herself the cliche of “the grass isn’t always greener”.

While “Go be with them other bitches” has become a girl power battle cry, it’s a hollow threat. Once a woman is infatuated with a man, she doesn’t really want him to go be with other bitches, her actions of submitting to his demands or trying to make it work contradict her, “I can do better on my own” bravado. A master manipulator figures out from the introduction that you’re either the type of woman who has guys kicking down her door, or the type who cracks the door and hopes someone walks by. Which type are you?

What Are Your Dating Options?

Can you pull men easily or are you that Typical that sits around like “there’s no one out there for me”? There are women who know their value and can get men with ease, but there remains a large percentage who are controlled by this paranoia that there are only a few quality men in this world that will ever cross her path and be interested. As soon as this type of female meets a man that has four out of her ten must-have’s, she shuts down shop and prays to the heavens that this guy sticks around. That’s how male manipulators win. They know that you don’t shop around, you take what they’re selling you at face value. Fuck that. Today we’re going to talk about why it’s always better to SHOP AROUND before you settle on a man.

thethirstisveryrealThe biggest mistake you can ever make is to take yourself off the market for the potential of a man that you don’t even know. I read this study that said women feel empowered by speed dating because of the free choice. You’re not a slave, and you don’t need to pay for something you can do yourself each weekend. Fellas go fishing with the mindset to catch as many as possible, they don’t get over excited at the first bite, or stop after reeling ONE in. We men serial date and juggle women until we find one worth focusing on. Far too many exceptional ladies live by this idea that the right one is simply the next one who taps her on the shoulder.

Women refuse to serial date and have been brainwashed to think of it as a dirty thing. Some girls will even turn down a phone number just because she has a first date coming up and wants to wait for the outcome of that. That stupid shit is like turning down 10 G’s on the spot because you have a lottery scratch off waiting at home, that you have a good feeling about. Women know how to multitask better than men; I see them on the 405 freeway applying makeup while driving with their knees. However, when it comes to dating, women flat out refuse to give their attention to more than one man at a time. I’m not sure if it’s being emotionally lazy, the stigma of being a hoe, or just a flat out refusal to evolve into a 21st century being. You don’t have to serve every dude in town, but no free agent ever got the best deal by choosing to only negotiate with the first team that calls with interest.

Focusing On His Potential

black_dating_

Someone once told me, “I’m not the kind of girl that talks to a lot of dudes.” I assume that made her the type of girl that waits by her phone for that ONE boy to hit her up, panics when he doesn’t, and spends all her free time wondering what that ONE boy is doing. Once that ONE boy becomes corny and turns her off, hits it and quits it, or simply vanishes with no excuse, she’s now becomes the kind of girl that will complain about the time wasted and lament, “It’s so hard to find someone.” No shit! It’s very hard when you focus all of your attention on one person who hasn’t even earned that undivided attention! You’re passing up opportunity after opportunity to get to know other people because you want to see what MAY happen with someone you’ve been texting or someone you went on a few dates with. Are you slow? Stop acting like you’re engaged the moment you get attention from a person you like, because odds are they aren’t going to work out! You’re single, act single!

If you want a job, you interview with different companies unless you’re just desperate, then you take any job that can pay the bills. When you want a boyfriend, you talk to different guys unless you’re just desperate, then you settle for any man that pays you attention. Read that again, and this time think about your own dating habits, are you trying to get the best or just what’s available? I’m all for you talking to one guy after he proves that he’s trying to build something with you. Going on two dates and getting morning texts doesn’t prove shit except that he knows how to type and keep an appointment. If dick was an episode of House Hunters, it’d be over before the first commercial break because y’all jump at the first decent thing presented as if it’s the last you’ll ever see. Just because you like him, and let’s be clear all you are doing in that first month is being in-like, doesn’t mean it’s a sign from god.

Some of y’all want this “him” fantasy so bad that you skip the part where you actually get to know this man intimately. The saying goes, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket”, but thirsty chicks put all their eggs in one basket without even checking to see if the basket has a hole in the bottom. I don’t care who the man is that you’re in lust with, he does not get to take you out of the display window off the strength that he was the first nigga this year to treat you to dinner and a movie. He could be the one, or he could be just another one. You can’t worry about the future, all you can do is live in the now, and the now mandates that he’s nobody special. While he’s trying to prove that he’s somebody special, you have to continue to go out and do you.

Which man to pick

Once I start talking to a new friend, guys must know because they be on me.” They don’t know shit, what they see is that attracting a man has boasted your confidence, so instead of walking around like you just smelled ass, you’re walking around switching your ass like you’re the queen of Sheba. You feel wanted, which makes you smile more than normal and act sweeter than usual. That’s what attracts a man to you, that newfound swag. You may think that if talking to this new boy makes your mood better, why would you take numbers from new guys or go out looking for a replacement. You’re not replacing him silly, he hasn’t even won the role yet, he’s still auditioning. It’s not your new friend that’s making your mood electric, it’s what he represents esteem wise.

Some women only feel as sexy as the last man that asked for her number. Everyone here follows someone on Facebook whose attitude swings with their relationship status. If they’re lonely and sad, they post negative things where the tone reeks of bitterness. If that same girl enters a relationship or starts dealing with a new person, suddenly they’re quoting poets and talking about being blessed. Her ass was blessed with that new dick and it turned that frown upside down. Unattractive guys get at women all the time, but to get pursued by a man you find attractive powers you up, and no matter how you try to play it off, that joy shows. Don’t give all this new energy to this man alone; channel it in order to attract new men that you’re normally too introverted or doubtful to pull. While you’re on a roll, amass a few potential boos, that way if the first guy craps out, you won’t lose that smile and go back to mean mugging in public with that “who shit themselves” face. Until you’re official, you better keep taking numbers.

Talking Won’t Get You Pregnant

Dating is not the same as fucking or sucking. When I say, talk to or date multiple men, it’s not a code for taking dick, it means to be courted until you decide on an exclusive boyfriend. Until you agree to be a man’s official girlfriend verbally, you are single. It’s time to erase this mindset that only hoes and sluts entertain more than one guy at a time. You’re single and mingling, not giving out blow jobs to the first 10 dudes who take you bowling. This vilifying of women who talk to more than one guy isn’t the result of it being morally wrong, it comes from jealous people who influence these women to believe it’s un-lady like, trashy, and trifling to talk to Dave at the same time as Kevin. Why do women get labeled for dating multiple men? Say it with me, boys and girls, MISOGYNY!

As men, the moment we take you to eat somewhere that doesn’t have combo numbers, you belong to us. We’re not going to claim you officially and fuck up our freedom… but it’s expected that since I’m showing you love, you’re exclusively mine. Although we still have other chicks we are trying to fuck at the same time, we demand that women to cut everyone else off or we quickly label her as a freak or a golddigger. This double standard concept sounds stupid to a progressive woman, but I wager 8 out of 10 girls agree to that kind of arrangement after just one date… or for those who can’t get him to take you out, after one week of texting. Years of dating under this “only sluts do that” law has made even the smartest women closed minded, “I deleted all the other numbers and unfriended my exes on Facebook… Um, no he’s not my boyfriend, but I wanted to show him I was loyal.” In two months your boo will move on to the other girl he was auditioning at the same time as you, and your lovesick ass will send that depressed Hail Mary text, “just letting you know I’m deleting your number…” He’ll respond, “who dis?” and that’s how the your loyalty will be rewarded. Be loyal to your damn self.

The other category of people who will make you feel guilty about seeing multiple men are hating ass females who can’t lock down one man let alone get to the level where a few are blowing up her phone. Pick Me women will always do the most for male attention because they can’t pull men by being themselves. No matter how hard she tries to fight her jealous feelings, these weak bitches resent any woman who gets attention from men effortlessly. Ladies, don’t let jealous men or women make you feel guilty. Going out with Mark on Friday then hitting up a party with James on Saturday means nothing. The most any of these men get from you is a tight hug at the end of the night, but to a hater it’s a reflection of your loose vagina. Women cling to this “no fucks given” motto, but in reality, they rearrange their lives to avoid judgment. The combination of an insecure man wanting to be your only choice and a jealous woman wanting you to leave some eligible men for her to date, has created  this stigma of “dating two guys is hoe shit”, it has nothing to do with real morals. There is nothing wrong with having three guys in your life and waiting for one of those three to do something great to make you put other men on pause. Think with your own brain, not the bias of others who have ulterior motives.

No Old Friends

I’ve seen girls totally fall off the face of the earth once they meet ONE boy. Girls stop tweeting, stop posting on IG, and stop hanging out with their girls, all over NEW DICK. You can tell you ain’t had dick in a while if you go from best friends forever to Oh I haven’t even talked to her in a minute, how she doing–within a month. If you can’t make time for old friends, how can you make time to meet new men? You can’t! A top reason why you, yes you, can’t date multiple men is because you get sucked into a man’s “love” and refuse to leave his side. How much brain power does it take to have multiple friendships? Building a new relationship while maintaining old ones isn’t an Olympic sport. You’re hypnotized by the thought of having a boyfriend, and that’s all you can think about– control your thirst and remember you still have a life to live! Men fit women into their schedules while women revolve their schedules around a man. Think about that bullshit. A guy will be quick to go hang with the fellas, while women will sit and pout “is he fucking his friends, why choose them over me?” —it’s not that serious. LIVE YOUR LIFE AND BE FREE. Think about the potential fallout. After New Boo, ghosts you or disappoints you, you’re left with the awkward position of trying to hang out with your old friends again, but it’ll never be the same because now that they know you’re the type of bitch that jumps ship for dick.

Buyers Regret

You're happy right

One of my readers settled for this mediocre dude and a week later met a guy who was her type mentally, spiritually… and financially. She felt it was too late to turn back, got married… and divorced… that guy is now off the market. Cold World. She loves when I write about this topic because her 20s were wasted by dating one at a time. With age all women see how life changing my advise is, but those of you who are still young or stubborn you still don’t get it. This is dating advice, this is quality of life spoilers! I don’t care what city you live in and what the man to woman ratio is, you always have a choice. Instead of embracing what it means to be single and free, you rush into the fire happy that someone chose you. You don’t need to be chosen, you need to be choosing. I’m not saying that after you get a boyfriend keep a gang of wolves on deck in case he screws up. I’m proposing that before you agree to be with a man exclusively, you interview him along with at least one other candidate at the same time.

SPARTAN RULE: I will always keep at least two men on my roster until I decide to officially commit to anyone.

I don’t want to hear about how it took you six months to get one to look your way, so you gotta do what you gotta do, that’s a basic bitch excuse. If you can get one man to turn his head, you can get twenty to do the same thing. Dating is about discovery and unmasking. When men are forced to compete for your attention, it exposes bums and separates the winners from the losers. Lending Tree your heart, and stop letting these peasants qualify with low fico scores. In a month from now, you’ll find out that James your new boo has anger issues and a secret baby mama. Damn, you knew his story was too good to be true. If you would have held James up against Reggie, and dated both for a month before deciding, you wouldn’t have been so quick to blind yourself to Jame’s red flags.

By having a good man to compare an average man to, you can make better decisions in your love life. Red Flag James would have never made the cut and you would have been saved from yet another bad relationship. Stop allowing these losers to reserve their place with you by default, and make any man who wants to be in your life earn his spot! Women don’t put up with sub-par men because they’re stupid, they put up with sub-par men because they lack the faith that they can do better than what’s being presented. You are a woman, the most sought after treasure on this planet, do not let these clowns lower your value by exaggerating their credentials while comparing you to a fish in a fucking sea. Each one of you are uniquely rare, and only a man that’s willing to rise above the rest and treat you with the highest value deserves to be rewarded with the gift of your exclusive dating rights. Now go make some friends.

If you want tips on HOW TO BUILD YOUR ROSTER = read this article

Women: How To Build Your Roster

or check out The Spartan Dating Script on iTunes or SolvingSingle.com

Thanks for reading Women Need To Date Multiple Men

G.L. Lambert Explains It All

How To Use Sex As A Weapon: Mid-Grade Vs. High-Grade Pussy

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Far From BasYc

How
important is sex? Before a relationship (meaning talking stage, dating
stage, or whatever these Basica’s are calling it this decade) it’s a man’s
main objective. During a relationship that initial lust dissipates, but sex
remains this magical power that can end arguments, release stress, and
reconnect even the busiest couples. At the same time a lack of sex during a
relationship can case rifts, fan the fires of infidelity, or lead to a breakup.
After a relationship, sex can of bring exes back together for one or several
last sessions and can disrupt a new relationship of a person who was trying to
move on. My point? Sex is the foundation of attracting a person, keeping a
person, or getting a person back after a breakup. Speaking directly to a
woman’s role in sex, what you ladies have between your legs can bring men to
their knees. Males throughout history have been ruled by their dicks so they
systematically set rules to limit that “Pussy Power”.

Slut shaming a woman for what she wears, says, or how many partners she has is embedded in every part of the patriarchal world. A man will tell you that sex isn’t a big deal, a Pick Me female will tell you to bring more to the table, but reality shows that men will lie, beg, steal, pay, even cut off friends and family for pussy... I’m not even talking about what can described as “Bomb Pussy” I’m talking about everyday “Typical Pussy” possessed by women who don’t even know what they’re doing or are too shy to fuck back. Someone reading this right now has mediocre sex skills, but even she has stumbled upon what happens when a man becomes smitten with the box. Do you want to be a bad bitch on accident, or do you want to actually know how to rule the world? Here’s a secret. Everything you do now sexually can be amplified to the point where it literally snatches a man’s soul. Going even further, a double dose of Spartan personality and Goddess Pussy can get a woman damn near anything she can imagine. You can make a man c...

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Thanks for reading How To Use Sex As A Weapon: Mid-Grade Vs. High-Grade Pussy

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