The only thing that doesn’t lie are numbers. So what have the numbers told us in today’s world? Men are having more sex without commitment now than they ever have in history. Women have become more hardened in terms of trusting men. However, if women are being more dismissive of ain’t shit men, then why are things such as situationships and suffering fallback treatment after sex increasing instead of decreasing? If women were truly being Spartan tough across the board, then the male mentality would be shifting, but it’s not. If anything, it’s easier to have sex minus a commitment or even real dating than it has ever been. That means either the men are lying about the pussy they get or the women are lying about the standards they stick to before giving up said pussy. So who is the liar?
I’ve been doing research on this for a while. I talked to a girl who had this high school sweetheart who she wanted to be with in terms of taking it to the next level. She told him what she wanted, then had sex with him that weekend. …she never got what she wanted. I corresponded with a girl who met an R&B dude whose picture was once on her wall as a teenager. She told him what she wanted and professed that she wasn’t a groupie just in it for fun, then had sex with him the next time he came to see her. …she never got what she wanted. I’ve known a girl for years who finally got in a stable relationship, assumed that she got what she wanted, had months of sex, then found out he didn’t consider what they were doing official, citing that “exclusivity” was never mentioned by either side. They stopped talking and you know the rest …she never got what she wanted. The sex is being had; therefore, men aren’t lying on their dicks. Most honest women will admit that they have (and will) fuck a man they want to be with before that man agrees to her terms. The hard truth is that the standards that many girls swear they have are total fabrications when put face to face with men who they don’t want to lose out on.
Men lie to acquire, Women lie to protect.
What do guys want from women—Pussy. Women know this, even when they try to make a man they like out to be different. What do women want—to not get used solely for pussy and to be seen as more than just an object of lust. So the most common lie becomes that men will lie to acquire sex, sometimes money, or other favors from women by acting as if she isn’t just an objectification to him. Most women don’t know if a man is using her so they have created their own set of lies. I’m not looking for anything out of this… Whatever happens, happens… I’m not tripping over any nigga… It’s whatever… I’m unbothered. Those lies protect a woman from opening herself up to heartbreak by a man who is most likely in it for a nut. If you pretend or even convince yourself that you don’t expect anything, then when that man uses you for sex and dips a month later, your feelings won’t be hurt because YOU didn’t care about love or any of that stuff– it was whatever. Maybe these women are being truthful, there are liberated women who just want sex or to chill and aren’t about romance, perhaps more and more girls are following that mindset. Nope! The proof I’ve seen comes in the form of the reaction. After these men leave or fall back, frustration and bitterness follows, proving for a fact that it was never whatever and that your attempt to play tough failed. You can lie to keep from getting your feelings caught up, but in the end, just like the three examples above, women still give in to dick pressure, which causes them to emotionally invest even when they didn’t want to, thus still ending up hurt.
The newest slogan is “Unbothered,” as in you aren’t stressing anything, no fucks given, and no more drama. I like that affirmation more than that Team Petty shit, but it’s still a lie. You know who’s really unbothered? People who don’t need to tell the internet how unbothered they are. Once again, we see basic bitches finding yet another false layer of confidence to grab onto to make themselves feel better about life. You check your phone every two minutes because “He” hasn’t texted back—bitch you’re bothered. You stalk social media to see if the girl you don’t like has subbed you—bitch you’re bothered. You rush to call your bff about what someone had the nerve to say to you at work—bitch you’re bothered! Offline and Online your life is full of people irking your soul, but instead of breaking it down mentally and truly figuring out why you let people get under your skin so you can stop being affected in the future, you avoid the work and front as if none of that stuff is on your mind. You don’t solve your problems by pretending you don’t have them. Not checking your bank account doesn’t change the fact that you’re broke. Refusing to admit your frustration doesn’t end the frustration. Repression is a hell of a drug. Repression gets you high on avoidance, but it also creates slow building stress that will eventually erupt. How many of you have played this “I don’t care” game only to find yourself crying at night because you’re depressed? Exploded on people you love because you can’t talk about the real issues going on beneath the surface. Pushed away people that actually cared because you didn’t want to seem weak. Men lie way more than women do, but women lie much deeper. It’s time to stop lying to yourself about how you feel because you aren’t protecting your heart from men; you’re actually doing more damage to yourself than a man could ever do.
Lie: I Like Being Single
Truth: I’m Sad As Fuck
There are women who are happy single, who enjoy alone time, and have enough self-love to appreciate the process of dating and self-discovery. Then there are the women that yell from the mountain top how they don’t need a man, how they’re too busy to date, or how men today are this and that. You see the difference? One woman doesn’t mention men; the other one can’t stop mentioning men because she’s full of shit. No one likes being single, single isn’t a goal, it’s a transitional period. To fix your lips to say you love being single is like saying, “Fuck heaven, all I need is purgatory.” Again, you can enjoy being single, learn, discover, explore, or just chill and be happy if you’re the type of woman that isn’t looking for outside validation, but most women who proclaim they love being single aren’t those types. Having talked to hundreds of women at this point, those women who enjoy being single don’t stay single for long because to love yourself to the point where you’re not longing for a man is the easiest way to attract a quality man. Men don’t wife insecure women unless they need a new mother, they wife secure women because at first glance he can tell that she doesn’t need him, that’s a true turn on. A woman who can wear her security like a crown will always be sexier than an insecure bitch in a thong making duck lips. So what is at the root of the insecurity that makes it hard for these girls to admit that they want a relationship?
I once received an email where a woman started off talking about how she works this type of job, makes this much a year, doesn’t need a man, but wanted some pointers on first date convo. I wrote her back and said, “Start back over, this time be honest and tell me what you really want.” I’ve had enough experience with this that I know when a woman is lying. Talking about your job, your money, and how you are above needing a man is a deflection. She was trying to make herself seem big with her career and seem in control by lying about “first date pointers” being her only problem, when the real problem was later revealed to be, “I can’t keep the attention of the men I like for more than a few weeks.” She wasn’t happy being single; she was sad and felt as if she was failing at life. So why would this college educated, successful career woman, need to lie about her relationship goals? Because we live in a world where women are judged by what’s on their ring finger… Oh, wait, what year is it? That’s right, most of those women judging have dry ring fingers too, thus other women are now being judged on if they have a man, not a husband, just a man. You got a Benz but where is your boyfriend? You got a PHD but where’s BAE? You got that new condo, but what good is Egyptian cotton on a king bed without a king? It’s not that these women are trying to be deceitful; they’re trying to protect their self-worth in a world where not having a man is like being a pariah. It infuriates me to see some little ratchet bitch whose only ambition in life is to take selfies while smoking hookah, shame another woman because she doesn’t have a boyfriend. It’s not about men at all; it’s about comparing yourself to the next woman in terms of relationship status. No matter what it says on your business card, what number is in your bank account, if you can’t get and keep a relationship, then you are not equal to other women. This competitive and vicious foundation causes so many women to formulate lies about loving the single life.
Because of society pointing to your lack of a man as proof that you aren’t as bomb as you claim, what develops is a defense mechanism to protect your ego. You and I know the real problem, and what you’re looking to get out of life in terms of love, but to the rest of the world you need to put on a front. It’s not that you can’t get a man it’s that you don’t want one. If that doesn’t work after the first few months, that lie morphs into how the city is lacking in quality men. Once your homegirl finds a man in your city you can’t use that excuse so the lie then switches to you being too busy with your career to date. The lie only stops when you find a boyfriend, and then even after you find a boyfriend you have to keep that lie up, “Oh, I wasn’t even looking, girl he found me.” Bullshit! Even after you get what you want, the cycle continues because now you have the power to throw shade at girls who are still single. As a woman who was just in that position telling those EXACT lies, you know that bitches are lying when they say they don’t want a man, so you call them out on those lies in the same way people called you out on yours. Soon your new relationship will end, just as they always do, and the cycle repeats with new lies about how you need to work on yourself, and affirmations that the universe needs you to take a break from love. No matter what excuses you give to the outside world, your inside world will always know the truth, that you are not happy. Set yourself free! The next time someone on the internet makes a joke about, “single bitches be like,” and that’s how you actually be like, don’t feel shame. The next time your aunt asks where your man is, don’t excuse it. The next time you’re on a date and some basic ass dude ask the basic ass question of, “Why is someone as pretty as you still single,” don’t shy away. You’re single because that’s where you are. It’s no fault of your own, it’s no knock on your character, and it’s not proof that your pussy is garbage. You are single because you are single. You don’t owe any one an explanation. Be secure in your relationship status! It’s okay to still be in the game. It’s okay to admit that you do want a man; it’s not as if you can marry yourself. Admission of want is not being weak or thirsty, it’s being a real.
Lie: We’re Seeing Where It’s Going
Truth: I’m Seeing Where He Wants to Take It
I give advice to this Personal Trainer who asked me to share his story for the fellas about how crazy women are, but I think his story is better used to make a different point. Cue the flashback music. Personal Trainer (PT) was crushing on this girl at his gym, but she wasn’t responsive to his flirting. I deducted that she was intimidated by him because he has some well-known clients, and she figured he was an industry playboy who couldn’t possibly want something real. That turned out to be her actual fear, but I worked with him on his presentation and he ended up showing her his true nature and getting her number. She remained kind of awkward even after the first date and it confused him. I told him that she was trying to figure out how to be cool around him. Here he is training celebs and she sees herself as regular, and when that happens women overthink their actions so as not to come off as corny or boring, not knowing that by being rehearsed they come off as fucking weirdos. The two of them eventually got to a point where she began to open up more and he actually found her to be goofy and fun, qualities PT was looking for in a woman. Two weeks after the number exchange she ends up at his crib and they have sex. He checks in with me telling me how good it’s going and asks what’s a non-simp way to ask her to be his girl. Things were about to go full Fairytale I thought… but the next weekend shit hit the fan and this situation became more Winterfell than Camelot.
This nigga PT, being a romantic, took what I advised to the extreme and gets a room at some fancy hotel for that weekend in order to profess his want to be in a relationship with her. That evening they were going to have dinner. Afterwards he was going to surprise her by taking her to the suite where he had all these roses laid out blah blah blah. PT goes to text the girl that he’ll be a little late to dinner. No response. He then calls her. Voicemail. He keeps at it. No response. Figuring that she left her phone somewhere he shows up at the restaurant they agreed on. No girl. Before he can leave the restaurant, he gets a long ass text basically saying this: Her girlfriend saw PT bringing roses into a hotel that afternoon. She knew he wasn’t shit from day one. She can’t believe she slept with him. She never has sex with a man she isn’t with and this was God’s way of teaching her a lesson. She will be cancelling her gym membership so he doesn’t ever have to worry about bumping into her. PT responds back with the truth, he really likes her and the room was for them. She responds back with, “Please respect my wishes, and never contact me again.” He tries to call, but no answer. This was months ago and the two have literally never spoken or seen each other since.
So is this “bitch a nut” like PT says or is something else going on? What men fail to realize when they get caught up in beauty and personality is that every woman has a story about being hurt. Some have reconciled, others are still holding in the fear of being hurt again. You can go on dates, laugh on the phone, and fuck, but as a man, you have to peel her life back before you peel her panties off, because you don’t know how sex or the tease of a potential relationship is going to effect a woman who is paranoid when it comes to men. PT was ready to make this girl his girlfriend, but I’m glad it went left, because clearly he didn’t do his homework on her. There was no revealing communication until that woman thought she was being played. PT didn’t question her history and that woman kept her fear bottled up. This is what I mean by living a lie. She thought this man wasn’t shit, she thought he was gaming her, and she thought that having sex with him so fast was a mistake—but continued to go with the flow and lived life as if everything was cool in her head. It’s not crazy to react to a misunderstanding with anger, it’s crazy to date full of resentment and distrust. Who the fuck sleeps with and spends the night with a person they doubt at the deepest level? A lot of women, that’s who.
“I Don’t Know… What Do You Want?”
–Scared Women
The most difficult time for a woman is after meeting the man and before they become official. This is the No Man’s Land part of romance where women get used and manipulated the most because there are no rules. He’s not your boyfriend, but you want to treat him like your boyfriend, so how do you act around him to express your joy and excitement? How do you keep from doing too much but not do too little to the point that he thinks you’re not interested? You don’t know, so the default solution is to go with the flow but pretend to be tough: I only want something serious if you want something serious. All these women dating at this stage and none are doing it the Spartan way. They do it the liar’s way by throwing on a mask of indifference:
Do you like me? *Rolls Eyes* “What do you think?”
Do you miss me, *Hesitates* “I don’t know, do you miss me?”
What are you looking for? *Refuses to make eye contact* “I’m not looking for nothing…”
Lies and indifference! You can’t seem soft, so you act hard, but you do like him, you do miss him, and if he asked you to be his girlfriend, you would say “Yes” because that’s what your lying ass is looking for! You want to be Nicki Minaj and say “you’re lucky if my mean ass like you,” but bitch you be liking every cute boy, that frown is just a mask because you’re afraid that cute boy may curve you! All this stuff you think will make a man see you as atypical really proves that you are typical because most chicks act indifferent too! Your “mean ass” is reading the same script that a girl 200 miles away is reading because you all are afraid of the same hurt! Women don’t want to push men away or seem too pressed, so they act numb, and as a result, allow dudes to do whatever they want. Meanwhile they look for signs that this is actually going somewhere. The lie isn’t so much, “I’m not looking for someone,” plenty of women are honest and admit that they want a relationship ultimately. The lie in this case is playing the role of a sheep when you are a she-wolf. You know exactly what you want from a man and you know it early in the dating stage. So why do you continue to be lead as if you’re confused?
Girls love talking about how they don’t do certain things until they are in a relationship, but most are guilty of having sex, over calling, spending the night, sucking dick, doing favors, meeting parents, etc… all before getting that exclusive monogamous relationship they need. Why do women today compromise their bodies and beliefs for men before they get what they want? The average woman doesn’t believe she can get a relationship without giving a man what he wants beforehand. You claim, “I can have whoever,” but you don’t believe that. Yes, you can get most men to fuck you, but fucking a man and having a man aren’t the same accomplishment! You’re pretty, but so are other women. You’re cool, but so are other girls. You’re educated, but so are most when you get out of the hood. So what is going to keep this man’s attention on you? Submission is the basic bitch solution. You let him take you on dates he wants to take you on. You let him communicate what he feels like communicating. You let him come see you when he wants to come see you. You let him eat it. Put just the tip in. Next thing you know you’re in bed mad at yourself because you didn’t just do one thing wrong, you did several things wrong that lead you to this situation. You say you aren’t that kind of girl, but you are who your actions prove you are! Your mouth says you’re Classy, your mind says you’re a Queen, but your actions just proved you to be a jumpoff. You gave him what he wanted because he wanted it that means you’re weak. You can’t argue against your own actions or excuse them, you are how you live, not how you imagine!
How do you correct this weakness? You become a Spartan, duh! You become a woman who doesn’t let men lead her, and prove through action that you are indeed a woman who does the leading! The worst feeling is knowing that you have no real idea of what a person wants from you and no real control over where the situation is going. This isn’t something that a man did to you; it is power that you GAVE to him. What happens after you fuck a guy you’re not sure of? Do you pull back and reestablish your standards? No, what follows is more of the same. Oh, he’s still acting sweet and asking me to come back over this weekend, he must like me so let me keep busting it open and waiting to get chose—yeah okay… These Purgatory relationships, even if a man is thinking about locking you down, are fragile and poisonous. You’re asking your friends “does he really like me or fucking me,” if you’re too afraid to be judged by friends you’re asking yourself, “if he didn’t like me like that he would have fell back by now, right?” Regardless of the outcome, the lie you are living speaks to a deeper problem. You don’t know how to express your wants to men because you are terrified that men with options will never want you on that level. Just like PT’s would-be girlfriend, all this anxiety that you keep bottled in will cause you to self-destruct either now or later. Only you can defuse your own insecurity.
Lie: Our Relationship Is Good
Truth: I Wish He Would Love me Like I Love Him
You could power New York with the energy it takes to keep a bad relationship afloat. But to look at women in those relationships on the surface they aren’t stressed or worried. Everything is good, worry about your relationship not mine, everybody goes through ups and downs, real love puts you to the test, we’re going to be good, we always work it out. Translation: Why does he keep doing this to me? Why can’t we get through a month without drama? I don’t know how long I can keep doing this! Women in failing relationships hurt in silence and they hurt alone. To tell your friends your problems opens it up to advice that you don’t want to take, because it’s advice that may end your relationship. You want to vent, but you don’t want to be told what to do to change your situation, so your girlfriends are in the habit of now just listening without putting their noses in your business. To go to your family members also comes with judgement, because the next time you take your boyfriend to that family function, your mother’s fake smile will be transparent; she knows the stuff you’re going through, and even though you promised her not to say anything, she can’t help it. In order to avoid judgement from your support system, you cut off your support system and just deal with the soap opera of your relationship on your own. Most of my emails from girls with boyfriends or husbands start “I don’t have anyone else to talk to,” this isn’t because they are lone wolves, it’s because they can’t face those people in their lives whom they’ve feed lies to. Everyone at work thinks you’re one of those happy couples. Everyone at church says you inspire them. However, in your own home, passive aggressive actions lead to blow-ups over the smallest things, because your man isn’t putting in the effort you deserve.
We live in an era where Basicas put their business on the internet because the internet is the only thing they have. Other women see these screengrabs or posts and they shake their head, “This is why I keep my business private.” Both women are the same. No matter if you suffer publicly or suffer in silence, you’re still suffering! Relationship lies exist to avoid personal embarrassment. Here you are that same girl that was like, “If I had a man he would take me here, would do this for me, pay this bill, wouldn’t look at other girls…” and the fantasy list continues. Now that you actually have a man, you realize that your problems have become the same problems as those Thotyana’s on twitter that you clowned. How do you change your life? Deny Deny Deny! Continue to keep your mouth shut to the person stressing you, and go out into the real world as if you have all the answers. How are you going to give advice about men, when you’re in love with someone who doesn’t even have to act like a man to keep you?
You’re paying for all your dinner dates. Meanwhile you’re online or in your girlfriend’s ear like, “I don’t come out of pocket for nothing, girl. You need to stop giving these bums your time.” You’re struggling to get an orgasm with a man that acts like he doesn’t even want to fuck you, and whose dick is half-hard inside you. Meanwhile you have the nerve to give out sex tips and post porn memes like, “Mood.” Yeah it is your mood, because you’re not getting long stroked from the back like that ever. You’ve broke into your man’s phone, and found all kinds of evidence that you cry about but decide to sit on… Meanwhile you’re on the phone gossiping about some unfaithful co-worker like, “Bitch, I wish my man would, I’d have his shit packed that night. I’m not the one.” But you are the one! You are the one that doesn’t say shit about what’s really bothering you, but as soon as he does something small like not attend a cousin’s graduation, you’re blowing up, “You’re so selfish, all I do for you, and you can’t even take half a day to be there for me? I don’t know why I keep putting myself through this shit!” It’s not the graduation; it’s all the other problems that you’ve swept under the rug for months or even years that have you running out of patience. You refuse to let go, not because you love him, but because you know a breakup will expose your hypocrisy. How would it make your lying ass look to pop up on Instagram clubbing in a thot dress, after proclaiming, “My club days are over, found my King.” You’ve thrown shade and overhyped your life, now that it’s over you have to explain all the ways he was mistreating you to people who you lied to and even tried to flex on.
This idea of making it work is also a lie. How are you making it work when you never Spartan Up and address the problem directly? You know what men hate the most, “You know why I’m mad! Don’t act dumb.” He’s not acting dumb, he’s acting human, and humans can’t fucking read minds! Say what your beef is instead of throwing it back on him to figure out. Telling someone else to figure out what they did wrong, means you don’t have the heart to confess your hurt. You know that if you verbalize what your man did wrong, not only will that problem spill out; all your problems will pour out. You are afraid to release your version of “what’s wrong” because everything is wrong! You will hurt his feelings, and you won’t be able to take it back. Nevertheless, that’s what needs to happen if your relationship is ever to be healthy again! “Why were you holding all of this in?” Your man will give that dumbfounded response, because as men we don’t understand why you would let problems build on top of problems in silence. It’s not about the damn trash not being taken out; it’s about you feeling as if he doesn’t take you out enough and you’re always stuck in the house with that overflowing trash. It’s not about him not answering his phone and the suspicion of cheating; it’s about him staying with his face in his phone when you’re together chilling, but now suddenly it’s in his pocket when he’s out because when he’s out he’s not as bored as he is when he’s with you.
Your relationship has so many problems and they have led to tension that needs to be released, so as soon as you see an opportunity to indirectly yell at him, you do so under the cover of something obvious like the internet, forgetting to do something, or his friends. “If you cared about me, you wouldn’t be spending so much time out with your friends,” really means, I’m stuck in this boring ass relationship with you and you’re free to go hang out and have fun, and that’s not fair! Your relationship is fucking misery and it will never correct itself without being H-O-N-E-S-T. Your man will never understand why you’re mad, he’ll never read between the lines, he’ll ignore, argue back, and in the end, he’ll leave. Men will always choose the door over the drama. Speak up and it may end the relationship, but maybe it’s a relationship that needs ending. The real reason you’re walking around mad is that you want to be shown love in a real way. Not hear, “baby, I love you.” But be shown that love in tangible ways. Here you are making sure he ate lunch, holding him down with a few dollars, or even supporting his half-ass business idea by being his cheerleader, but where’s your reward? You’re giving love because you want to feel love given back. No romantic relationship is unconditional. You want your boyfriend to reciprocate. You have mastered the art of loving someone more than yourself, and you are starting to realize that you will never experience a man loving you in that same exact way. In the end your relationship doesn’t end, it continues because you settle for his type of love being good enough. Nevertheless, that sadness remains, and all you can do is lie about it to the rest of the world, “My man is my Man Crush every day.” sure he is…
Lie: I’m Over Him
Truth: I Wish He Would Act Right
You’re done with your Ex, you learned your lesson, you’re a new person, when Drake says, “My Ex asked me where you moving and I said on to better things,” you clap your hands and “Yasss” because that’s how you feel: Chapter closed! So… If you’re over him why are you monitoring his social media? Why is his number still in your phone? Why do you still think about HIM more than you think about this so-called brand new life you keep saying you’re excited to live? You don’t want to answer that, instead you move on to that old ass excuse of, “I’ll always have love for him, but I’m no longer in love.” How does your blood circulate when you’re full of so much shit? It’s deeper than still having love; wishing someone well in their future endeavors doesn’t require online surveillance, contact, or subliminals. Saying you aren’t checking for him, yet there you are talking about who he’s supposedly talking to or listening to friends tell you where they saw him. If you aren’t checking for him, then why is he a daily conversation? If you were actually done, why are you sending “tell your mother I said happy birthday,” texts? If you were moving on to new men who can treat you better, why are you on Instagram posting quotes about the top 3 Bitter Bitch Subjects: Loyalty (I Don’t Need Money, Spoil Me With Loyalty). Regret (You Never Know How Much You Love Someone Until You Watch Them Love Someone Else). Karma (Is a Rubber Band That Only Stretches So Far Before It Smacks You Back In The Face). No one is in their feelings unless they still have feelings! The biggest sign that you’re lying to yourself is that the person who you’ve sworn off doesn’t have to work to change your mind. You Ex says, “Stop acting like that, you know I love you,” and you’re defused and back giving out chances. If you were serious about a breakup, it would take more than words to get you back. Yet, most of you reading this have broken up, only to go back that same month based on hollow words alone, only to end up breaking up again. “I knew I shouldn’t have went back!” So why did you dumb ass?
Women don’t really want to break up, they want the threat of breaking up to scare their man straight. Girl Logic: Show him what he’s missing and he will run back. The ironic thing is that men do run back, not because they want you back, but because chasing is fun. You’re confusing him wanting to change with him wanting to chase. Woman breaks up with man. Man doesn’t like being told he can’t have woman. Man says whatever, eats whatever, and buys whatever to show that she should take him back. Woman takes him back. Man kicks that bitch in the ass, and goes back to doing what he was doing before. He didn’t want to restart a relationship with you, he only wanted to prove that he could get you to take him back. Men hate to be told it’s over, not because they’re in love with you, but because they’re in love with control over you! You know this, but you refuse to accept this on a real level because to accept that means you would actually have to move on and accept defeat. Breaking up is no longer about moving on to someone better; it’s about crying wolf to keep the one you were just with. Here’s the lie. When you lay up at night, and your mind goes back to him, you make a wish. You wish to the old gods and the new that things could go back to the way they were. Meaning you wish that he would come back and act the way he used to act at the height of your love. You sit in that bed and you wish for it, I know you do. Then you go live life as if you never made that wish, as if your mind isn’t constantly throwing that out into the Universe even when you’re texting a new guy. You don’t want a new man; you want your old man repacked. So long as you keep making those wishes, you will continue to be painfully in love.
Change Yourself, Change The World
If men stopped lying, I wouldn’t have to be so overprotective and create my own lies, so go tell niggas to stop treating good women like me like we’re no good! … sigh. There you go again, placing blame on people you give power to, instead of owning up to your own power. Men lie to acquire, so instead of complaining about men while STILL giving them what they want, take a stand and respect yourself enough to really set the standards that you talk about, and make them EARN YOU. You’re not confused about what man is lying and what man actually wants you. His actions are telling you very loudly. Yet you push it down and say, “I’ll keep seeing where it goes.” Your self-respect is on E if you keep letting men lie to you while pretending that you’re either confused by those lies or already aware of them and just playing along. You want to believe that he cares about you, even when it’s not adding up because you need validation. Everyone else is happy, and here you are lonely and unfulfilled, so of course you let the liar in. If you cancel out all of your intuition and ignore all the red flags, you can convince yourself that he loves you, that you’re worthy of love, and that you’re special. But he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t want you, and he doesn’t see you as special, and never will.
A woman will lie to protect her heart from being broken, her life from looking typical, and her image from being seen as basic. You fake indifference to keep from being played, fake as if you don’t trip over dudes to keep from being seen as thirsty for love. You point to things like your crib, your car, your career, your education, and even your body shape all to scream, “Look at me, I don’t have issues! I’m good.” Yet, your actions still reveal insecurity. Despite the life you’re trying to portray, you still end up getting used by men who you should be dominating. You still end up secretly depressed over situations you don’t know how to change. You still erupt over small things because the big things in your life aren’t lining up as you hoped. It’s time to stop running from the truth and stop feeling as if you will be seen as weak if you admit your feelings. You can’t make a positive change while holding on to the negative emotion of fear. You will never get what you want if you’re too afraid to admit that you have a want in the first place. It’s not about who lies more, men or women, it’s about who causes more damage to themselves. These men aren’t losing sleep because they lied to get pussy because they don’t have to carry those lies with them day in and day out to feel safe. It’s become the women who are weighed down by this constant pretending, and it’s that weight that has many of you ready to break down from the stress and frustration at any minute. Lies can’t protect you from pain, but strength can. Be the Spartan you were born to be, and stop letting this world make a liar out of you.
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